Would this bug you?

[TwinklyGoldReader]

DS had a Mother’s Day afternoon at Nursery today, which was lovely. At the end staff told us to wait for our ‘presents’ and for a photo together with our child.

I was waiting in line and staff kept skipping to the next parent. I hung around a bit because I saw it was a pack of crafts they’d done and a little flower- i’m a sucker for the artwork!

It got to the point where there were 3 parents left and the 2 packs clearly didn’t have DS’ name on. I felt so awkward because none of the staff acknowledged it or offered to take our picture. We were the only ones without. I just quietly left but could have burst into tears (I’m very pregnant so hormones didn’t help!) DS asked where his mommy’s flower was and asked several more times this evening.

He hasnt missed any days and attends the same days as the others in today’s group. I’ve never had a disagreement with staff or raised any concerns. They’re a fantastic nursery but this keeps bugging me tonight! AIBU to let it bother me?!

Why didn't you ask where your dc's pack was?

I would. It's clearly upset your DS and there's time for him to to still do you the artwork!

Tell them. Of course something went wrong and they should have acknowledged it. Yes it's not the end of the world - but it wasn't nice. I would pull them up on it in a polite way.

Same question. Why not just ask?

Was it a paid for thing and you missed the notice?

Yes I would be upset

Mention it next time you’re in

I kinda get not asking at the time if you felt teary. If I thought I was gonna cry I’d leave too

I suppose I wanted to save them the embarrassment, but I wish I did now! I was exhausted from the afternoon too, so couldn’t face the tension when it was so avoidable. I’m a teacher myself so can’t see how they forgot!

I’ll have to ask but I don’t want to be ‘that’ parent

Why didn’t you ask them whilst there?

You're being unreasonable for not saying anything at the time. You wouldn't have been 'that parent' when clearly there had been some sort of mistake. And it probably was some sort of mistake. There was nothing to stop you asking for your picture to be taken either.

You'd be unreasonable not to ask.

Be that parent. Because this is sloppy isn't it. And it's not just you. Your kid is asking why they were left out. If you don't pull them up on it how do you know they aren't leaving kids out here and there during the day by accident when parents are not around.

For goodness sake this place gets worse. All you needed was a really simple adult exchange of words.

"Hi, sorry, where is my son's one please?"

I just don't get this MN epidemic of adults not being able to communicate lately.

Absolutely this why not just say where’s my son’s art work? It’s not difficult!!!

I don't even understand what the OP means by she doesn't want to be 'that parent'.

That parent who advocates for her young child?

Why wouldn't you want to be 'that parent' who does this?

I agree with other posters that you could have asked, but then I think we have all been guilty of freezing in the moment and realising things we should have done in retrospect. And we don't have the full picture, maybe you were feeling hormonal or worried asking could draw your child's further attention etc. You can handle it differently next time but definitely still pull them up on it tomorrow

I read this and felt the same, it would have been a very simple exchange of words from both sides 🥴
People don’t half make life hard for themselves sometimes.

How is saying 'oh where's my son's' being that parent??!! It's gonna create a lot more fuss and work for the staff to raise it tomorrow than it would have done to have a 30 second conversation at the time.

When you say a pack of crafts, do you mean a craft activity to take away, or a pack of crafts they have already done? If the latter, is it possible your child refused the activity, or if an accumulation of crafts from the past wee while, have you already taken them home?

It is a bit rubbish that they clearly saw you waiting and didn't give an explanation, but equally, you are an adult. You trust these people to keep your child safe, you should be able to manage a conversation. U

Why didn’t you ask? Everyone on here lately seems unable to communicate in the most straightforward scenarios. Yet perfectly able to come on here and explain their disappointment without spring the smallest detail. I despair for society.

Just talk to them. You're not being unreasonable for wanting your son's gift to you but you're being unreasonable not to ask when it clearly matters to you. There could be a multitude of different reasons his wasn't there. Maybe someone picked up your child's in error, maybe your child's was temporarily somewhere else or maybe it was a genuine mistake but I am sure if you talk to them it will be easily resolved. Be polite, ask the question and say you were looking forward to it and I am sure they'll resolve it. No harm done.

You're not being that parent, you're enquiring if your son was excluded from an activity because he was certainly excluded from having his photo taken and you want to know why, because now he and you feel left out, but him most importantly.

You must have a lot of time on your hands to be worrying about this. Your kid will forget about it within a few days

It's probably there misplaced under a book or something. Or dc chose to not do the art and they forgot to tell you, an error but understandable if they were busy. In DCs nursery at graduation they did a presentation with a photo montage of each child, but accidentally left one child out and didnt notice until it was over. Parents and child were understandably upset. There was a whole folder of photos of the child that was accidentally not added to the presentation, a simple admin error but a pretty bad one to make. It happens!

@Goldencoast2 rude