Would this bug you?

[TwinklyGoldReader]

DS had a Mother’s Day afternoon at Nursery today, which was lovely. At the end staff told us to wait for our ‘presents’ and for a photo together with our child.

I was waiting in line and staff kept skipping to the next parent. I hung around a bit because I saw it was a pack of crafts they’d done and a little flower- i’m a sucker for the artwork!

It got to the point where there were 3 parents left and the 2 packs clearly didn’t have DS’ name on. I felt so awkward because none of the staff acknowledged it or offered to take our picture. We were the only ones without. I just quietly left but could have burst into tears (I’m very pregnant so hormones didn’t help!) DS asked where his mommy’s flower was and asked several more times this evening.

He hasnt missed any days and attends the same days as the others in today’s group. I’ve never had a disagreement with staff or raised any concerns. They’re a fantastic nursery but this keeps bugging me tonight! AIBU to let it bother me?!

💯%

YABU not to have asked them at the time

It has probably just been misplaced and they thought you had picked up your pack. You aren't being "that parent" by asking a simple question 🙄

As you are a teacher then you know parents will come up and say where’s my kids stuff.

it’s all in the tone of voice. Sometimes you have to be that parent.

lesson learned - next time just ask. I do think it’s also bad on the nursery not to acknowledge you and say really sorry but it’s got lost or didn’t make one etc. they also took the easy way out by avoiding you.

What on earth is going on. Use your big girl words and say ‘excuse me, where is my son’s.’ I don’t believe for one second they were deliberately skipping you. Sounds like you were simpering about and other parents did what normal people would do

Many Mumsnet posters are like sheep. One posts a snippy comment and they all jump on to post in the same way. OP - ask next time you are at nursery. I'm sure staff will help.

Should have just asked. What's the point in quietly leaving unnoticed? Now you'll never know.

You’re not being ‘that parent’…. You can say DS has been asking where his flower was. It could all be a complete misunderstanding. Talk to them.

I've been there, you swallow the discomfort so that someone else doesn't have to feel what is rightfully their discomfort. That was their discomfort to handle and they should have handled it .... unless it was a paid for item and you didn't fill in the appropriate form? Check out with another parent what the situation is and then if it was an oversight, I would gently pick them up on it or if you don't know any other parents, I would just ask if a non commital way e.g. "my son was really upset yesterday when we didn't get to take X home, I'm wondering if I missed some communication about it or perhaps someone else took his by mistake".

True, we all sometimes wish we'd said something after the moment has passed. But in this instance when the stakes were very low, and you only needed to ask a question (not even make a complaint), and your son wanted you to say something, and it has left you feeling very upset after the event, it would have been well worth speaking up. Not everyone handles confrontation well but this barely even counts as confrontation. It was just a request for an explanation.

When you collect today....

'hi my son didn't collect his MD craft yesterday. Shall I wait here while you go get it?' or something similar.

It's ok to want the gift and to ask for it.

Hopefully you’ll get it at pick up today.

But like you didn’t use your mouth to ask so what did you expect?? I’d have just piped up to say “where is DS’s flower and can we have a photo taken now please”… Problem solved. If they’d lost his flower, they then should have admitted it and offered to make a fresh one with him tomorrow or whatever.

Seriously why just not ask, hormones isn't an excuse, feel sorry for the little one not you !

I hope you get your flower today 🌷

What a ridiculous excuse, being pregnant and hormonal. How precious !

Yes, it’d bug me, but I’d certainly have asked at the time where my child’s little present was!

Yeah yeah you've said this already, you're flogging a dead horse now

You pay them! Why are you talking about saving them embarrassment? You need to speak up, just a polite “does dc have a painting too?” If all that’s needed.

I hope you got it today. It sounds weird that you were in the queue though and didn't acknowledge it and neither did the staff. I assume in the businesses of the afternoon they each assumed someone else had dealt with giving you your flower and taken your photo, so it would be on you to say to them sorry I think we have been missed. There is nothing 'that parent' about that. Especially if you had been stood there all you needed was a quick word to say 'oh Fred hasn't been given his yet' they could have then checked if the card hadn't fallen off the table or been left in another room. These things do happen all the time which I am sure you know as a teacher and are easily sorted.

Good god OP what a wet lettuce you were

Asking why they didn’t give you your sons craft or take your picture doesn’t make you ‘that’ parent!

Hanging around and not saying anything makes you ‘that’ parent.

This

I can't understand why you didn't just say 'where's mine?'

But you're absolutely not wrong to be bothered by this. I'd bring it up for sure but would have been better said in the moment.

That is terrible. Even if something had happened to your DC's Mother's Day gift they could have explained, and then given you a flower and taken your photo.

How on earth does it get to the point where there are three parents and two cards and none of the teachers has the sense or manners to smile and say something?