When I'm distressed I talk about my feelings alot

[Hippychickbbbb]

I've been told I'm a pain in the ass when I'm upset I talk about my feelings alot

People aren't going to stop using an accurate and recognised term just because you dont like it, so you need to get used to the term or stop trauma dumping on everyone around yo

The Samaritans aren’t counsellors. They are a listening service. You are far better speaking to a grain councillor

You’re missing out so much information

You don’t just talk about your feelings a lot. You get drunk and throw things.

Why have school said you can’t be alone with your daughter?

It's very obvious from this and your many previous threads that you are very unwell and need professional psychological and psychiatric support. Your friends and family can't provide that and they can't absorb your distress for you; neither can Mumsnet. Your mood and behaviour clearly isn't very stable at the moment and that isn't something unqualified people can take on the responsibility of coping with.

I'm not unwell I've tried to reach out for support I have a a therapist who I talk to I phone the samaritans for support as I'm going through a hard time I'm not suicidal I lean on my mum for support and my friend Sharon I go to the gym and local social club I'm trying to talk about my feelings alot less that's all I can do I can't change the past

You can’t change the past but at the same time you have to take steps to try and move forward.

I know you say you are not unwell but you have been sectioned twice. What diagnoses did you receive at the time?

What is your AIBU, OP? What are you wanting from this thread? I don’t think it’s helping you. You need to concentrate on rl therapy.

I've Google Ed this people can over share as a result of stress I don't have to agree with the term trauma dumping

I mean this with kindness, have you ever experienced mania or psychosis?

I threw things only a couple of times when no-one was around noone got hurt I threw my phone during extreme stress I didnt mean to I haven't done it since I had some bears when dd was with her dad I was only tipsy not falling over drunk I slurred my words a bit that was all again it wasn't around dd I didnt hurt anyone her dad took it too far and said I was drunk

Okay, what was your diagnosis when you were sectioned?

OP do you have alcohol issues? I’m only asking as your comments come across as quite odd and actually a little aggressive.

You have been given good advice but you won’t take it and so this will continue. You have been posting about your issues for six years. Do you want to sort things out or do you define yourself by your trauma (as many people do)?

I said repeated word s talked rubbish to the mirror had involuntary body movement s like shaking I accidentally broke a door trying to open it dh took me to ane for it the ticks came on when stressed they took me away in a van it was horrible, I wasn't harming anyone this was in 20022 my marriage failed as I told a friend he was being abusive she told someone else he said he didn't love me anymore this was very upsetting he rolls his eyes at me he called me a worthless cunt and punched a huge whole threw the door he said I made his skin crewl when I tried to hold his hand I'm devastated by the break down of my marriage, I'm still in shock about it we used to be close, I'm getting coucling we had lots of discussions to make the marriage work but it wasn't working he said I was a pain in the ass as I said I was distressed several times to him I don't talk to him anymore about things i talked to my friend Debbie but i dont discuss things with her as shes depressed i just to helplines

Were you diagnosed with psychosis or mania?

I was being assertive not aggressive I hardly drink only some bears occasionally

Was that to me? It really is easier if you can quote posts.

Okay if you are sober then you still come across as angry to people who are suggesting help, getting defensive about the term trauma dumping.

You need to find a good therapist who had experience with your type of trauma. You are clearly not coping and there are people out there who can help you.

People have asked you questions in an attempt to support you. Nobody can do that if you completely ignore the questions people have asked.

It’s a bit rude too tbh when people have taken the time to reply to you.

@Hippychickbbbb I really don't think that you understand quite how damaging and frankly toxic your behaviour (as described by you over multiple threads over the years) is. Your need to always centre everything around your feelings and "trauma" ignoring everyone else's feelings and needs is a sign of a maladaptive personality disorder.
You fail to see the harm you cause and refuse to accept that your behaviour is borderline abusive. Your need to always control the narrative even on this thread to the point that you want to control the speach of posters on here is another form of you shaping facts and situations so that you can maintain your victim hood instead of facing the reality that you are the problem and until you can accept that this recurring situation is is due to your behaviour and victim mentality you will never change and every relationship that you have will end the same.
Its time for you to make a decision to actually engage with proper psychiatric help and really look at things from other people's perspective and see yourself not as a victim of circumstance or other people's reactions to you but the architect of your own misery of continue as you are and watch everyone including your dd walk away from you for their own sanity.
I understand that what I've said will be hard for you to hear but that doesn't make it any less true. I hope that you listen to what pp and I have said to you over this thread and talk to your therapist about it as it will help you if you want to change.

I strongly suspect OP has a diagnosis of a personality disorder. It’s often as a result of trauma in childhood, which from OP’s other threads I suspect she has. Unfortunately, it does often mean that the affected persons perception of reality bears no resemblance to the truth.

ETA my personal experience means I think it’s pretty impossible to engage in constructive conversation when someone is acting like OP.

@Hippychickbbbb Kindly, I don't think you are going to find the support you need here. You sound quite unwell, possibly suffering from complex PTSD, and most people on Mumsnet won't be able to help you with the impact of that on your life and relationships. It can be supportive here but it can also be quite "tough love" and that can be hard to hear when you're not in the right place to take that.

The Complex PTSD workbook by Arielle Schwartz might be helpful alongside therapy. DBT skills may also be beneficial to help with building the inner resources to cope with distressing feelings without resorting to doing unhelpful things, such as overloading others with your distress and trauma and straining your relationships. Rebuilding after trauma requires a conscious effort to rebuild your identity, think about what your values are and how to live them, engage in activities that feel positive, creative or constructive for you, even small things, and try to visualise the future you would want for yourself.

Counselling may not necessarily be helpful if it's just talking, as that can keep you stuck. It can be useful for some people, but if you don't find you're progressing, you may need to find a therapist that has a more trauma informed, integrative approach and can offer something like EMDR to help you process past experiences if you are having things like flashbacks or intrusive memories that affect your day to day life.

I don't talk to Debbie anymore as she is depressed she can't handle it I do care I speak to my mum but mainly its her that dose the talking, I did her a few times how, I'm struggling I cried down the phone she told me not to cry, she says keep busy, I don't work or cook meals I go to the gym social club, I hate myself for talking to my ex about my feelings I had alot to say. I was

trying to sort the marriage out it really hurt when he suddenly didn't love me, I appreciate oversharing can strain relationships I was talking about my trauma to my husband as he kept wondering why I was struggling, I kept having to explain to him why I felt angry, wish hurt q I really didn't mean to over share my feelings, I can see how it was a problem in my marriage he upset set me alot withe eye rolling I said I wanted to told his hand but didn't he rolled his eyes I would disuse my feelings alot as I was trying to sort out our relationship, he said his feelings alot too that he didn't have romantic feelings for me I would cry he got annoyed

I didnt mean to go on I had a lot of feelings as he was my first love I wanted the love back I said I just wanted to be loved he said cruelly me me me it was a two way conversation he said his feelings alot too as we were having discussions about our relationship it wasn't just all me saying my feelings to him he said stuff too I had alot to say I'm devastating traumatised by the end of Mty marriage I tried so hard to make it work I bought him presents cooked him dinners talked to him about his feelings troubles
I'm not being aggressive but I don't have to like the term trauma dumping that's all I said he talked about his feelings to alot it wasn't just me he just said I was going on as I had alot to say he never tried to stop me from talking he should have said I tried found it hard to stop talking to him as I was very upset

Okay, bye.

I know you hate the term trauma dumping but your writing style suggests a stream of consciousness.

Forget about counselling, I think you need to go to the GP and, if necessary, go back to hospital. Things have clearly been bad for a long time and you owe it to yourself and your family to heal.

OP, your previous threads include posts in which you admit to throwing plates, and more than one in which you admit to being drunk. In one post you said you’d drunk nine pints of beer in an afternoon without even realising it.

You have been posting semi-coherently and angrily for two or three years and you don’t accept any responsibility for your own behaviour. I think you were sectioned at one point. You are very unwell and you need psychiatric support and you need to stop drinking.

She’s been posting for at least six years. I totally agree re the help she needs