To wonder why “new money” is so frowned upon in the UK?

[Namechanged2026]

Dh and I are what you would describe as ‘new money’. We both had very working class childhoods but have since earnt very well. We live in a big modern house, drive new cars (financed as it’s silly to put so much money into a depreciating asset - it works out cheaper to finance if you want a new car every 4 years) and enjoy a few abroad holidays per year (yes, we do like Dubai for the guarantee of weather, relatively short flight and quality of resorts (although we’re definitely not flashy Instagram types😂)). Our children go to private school and have had experiences that me and DH could only have dreamed of as kids.

We worked hard, got lucky and enjoy a lifestyle that we can afford. We don’t dress in tacky designer clothes (although we do have a few designer bags, belts, shoes between us), nor are we ‘flashy’.

But why is there so much snobbery towards this in the UK? Many people on super low incomes would talk about my situation negatively in a way that would suggest they would rather chose a lifestyle with a modest income and fewer luxuries because it’s almost embarrassing to want more than this. I see working class people use the phrase “money talks, wealth whispers” in reference to anything that looks like it might have been very obviously expensive. What do these people think that they would do if they all of a sudden had a super high income… just remain as they are as “money talks”?! Of course not. Yet they see no problem with the “old school” kind of wealth (country estates, kids at boarding school, muddy wellies etc etc).

It’s only in the UK that I think this attitude exists. In other countries it seems like such a positive thing to aim for a high flying career, to admit to wanting to earn as much money as possible, to discuss wanting to travel lavishly and experience lots of things. It’s actively encouraged. However in the UK, I think there is an attitude of mocking these kind of attitudes and suggesting people are shallow for aiming for this. I remember being at uni and telling a family friend that I wanted to buy a house in X area when I was older, only to be met with “is round here (a council estate) not good enough for you then?”.

@Reepycreepy what does ‘flashy’ mean to you?

Id quite like a Griffith Chimaera in some moods exactly because it’s loud and noticeable. But I have a relative with a red Porsche and the muttered comments when he arrives at family events are somewhat off putting - if you care about that sort of thing. But why do we care? Etc rtc

Not my experience at all. One of my closest friends is, I suppose old.money, a farming family, and is married to an old Etonian.
I met her through NCT and we're still friends 18 years later.
She's definitely the muddy welly and ancient Volvo type but is one of the kindest, funniest and most welcoming people I have ever met. Her dh is brilliant, always happy to join in.

It's not the wealth itself that I'm grumpy about, but the consumerism. I would imagine it's difficult to have loads of money and not spend it on loads of 'stuff', but all I see is all the excessive resources being used, and the inequality across the world.

I don’t think that the judgement is just because you are rich, the judgement I imagine would be regarding the choices you make.

For eg holidaying in Dubai - not jealous but if you have the money to holiday anywhere in the world I would strongly judge you for going to Dubai with their human rights practices.

If you want a LV printed bag a lot of people might judge you because they are an obvious brand and a bit tacky now. Not judging you spending the money. If you went for a classic Mulberry or some of the high end understated brands or artisan goods from small sellers for the same money that would be more my bag.

If you are driving round a massive gas guzzler on the school run - setting a similar trend. Nice Tesla or Aston Martin - less judged for that.

I think the judgement usually comes between new and old money based on taste - classic/classy/green against bling, tasteless, crass or badly judged when it comes to dodgy brands.

I definitely agree there is judgement but not because you are new money but the way you show your money and the judgement of how classy that it.

That judgement is often based on how you ‘show off’ your money.

Most people want a safe, reliable, comfortable car with a good range of options to achieve the same: I like wireless charging, a heated steering wheel; fully automated seat and steering positioning; 360° cameras, cooling seats etc.

that may mean people perceive my car as flashy. But it was bought for practicality

I’m definitely not expecting admiration! But as a child/teen I would “look up” to people who worked hard, had good careers and earned lots of money so that they could have nice things. I still do admire people who do this!

Ok, but who gives a shit what people on here think? They don’t know you! You’re happy, healthy and giving your kids the best experience you can. Those are your priorities and decisions and they work for you.

maybe I’m applying 50-odd year old logic to this - you stop giving a rats arse about the opinions of others - but you’re crazy to allow yourself to be troubled by this.

deep breath! Be proud of who you are and what you’ve achieved!

Personally I blame rappers! They rose from ghettos all the way up to diamond teeth.

Riding inequality, social media influenced poison, climate breakdown through overconsumption, unchecked power and lack of accountability for the mega rich who can literally get away with abuse. Oh the list is endless and the conversations to be had are much more nuanced over “why doesn’t a wider family friend of a friend like my Range Rover?” And your conclusion, well if they don’t like my Range Rover then all lower income people feel the same.

And you know why people might sneer, you are paying for private schools to increase the odds of the privilege money provides for your own children. Which is fine, but to act all startled that you just don’t understand why a very few people have made comments about your displayed wealth is difficult to understand.

This feels like a post for you to boast about your life on a Sunday morning because you want to. You could have opened this conversation without mentioning most of your personal spends with a simple “ we have financially moved out of the bracket I was brought up in” but minute details about justifying how you pay for two luxury cars are unnecessary for a wider sociological discussion.

Well tell us about that then rather than the brand of your car and destination of your holiday? Are you seriously expecting people to make moral judgments on you based purely on your belongings? You could be a drug dealer for all they know?

The UK does seem to have more of a crab bucket mentality than the US, where upward mobility appears to be really celebrated. Though who are you actually receiving judgement from? Friends? Family? Or is it just reading about it on MN all the time? Because MN is very much louder in this aspect, so maybe get off the internet for a while if that’s the case.

If it’s your friends and family, then you need a new set!

Britain has experienced centuries of entrenched class hierarchyFor. a long time, wealth in Britain came mainly from aristocratic inheritance, not entrepreneurship. Families who had money for generations formed the social elite. Status historically came from lineage, not just wealth.
So when someone becomes rich quickly, the old cultural instinct is to view them as socially unproven.

Your buying choices can even be interpreted as showing off rather than simply enjoying success. You say you’re not ‘flashy’, but whether you mean to or not, your cars, choice of home and holidays signal ‘new money flash’. This is why ‘nouveau riche’ stereotypes exist.

It’s not so prevalent these days, but British culture also historically mocked people who try too hard to appear upper class. Vanity Fair satirised social climbers, Keeping Up Appearances famously mocked someone obsessed with appearing higher status. The joke often isn’t that someone is rich, it’s that they’re performing status. British culture tends to police arrogance aggressively.

From accent to education to manners to cultural references, class identity still matters more than money to the invisible structure behind ‘class’ in the UK. Someone can be extremely wealthy and still be considered not upper class. Conversely, someone with little money but the ‘right background’ may still be treated as socially elite.

My advice – live your life. You can’t dismantle centuries of social structure. It can only be dismantled with time and across generations.

Most very wealthy people have stayed that way over the generations by not wasting money on flashy new cars or designer handbags.

They spend money on the things that matter, long term investments, the best education available for their children, social skills and network, all things that will give a return. Wasting £10,000 every time you drive a new car off the forecourt or paying an extra £500 for a label is not seen as intelligent or astute.

Also I 100% think people with significant new wealth can make good choices and not the judged ones that i state here and many do. Many of these wouldn’t be judged. They would be looked up to and respected.

New money good - kids still in state school, input into local community life, holidays not in oppressed countries, even better if delighting in amazing nature, culture, promoting small businesses/ charities, expensive clothes and brands but understated so not bling (classy not making others feel less than). Made their money in something where taxes are clearly paid/ not a concerning trade.

new money bad - kids in private school, flouncing through community life with no input or support just to be noticed, or supporting teams just for furthering kids ambitions, massive gas guzzling cars that look like a drug dealer car, holidays in UAE/Dubai, full bling tight branded clothes, made money in businesses where tax practice might be off, vapes, sunbeds, selling questionable background products.

I agree with the last paragraph here. I think you need to raise your consciousness as to how you are ‘flashing’ your wealth, even if you don’t believe you are. You say ‘money talks, wealth whispers’ as if you believe yourself to be whispering – you’re not.

That’s not to say you should change if you don’t want to. You do you, but some heightened awareness will help you understand it at least.

I think some new money types can fall into the trap of their wealth becoming their whole personality I.e money and recent holidays/ high end purchases form the basis of every conversation, which can seem tacky, cringe and boring. (I’m by definition new money btw, so this isn’t coming from a place of jealousy.)

And funnily enough, ds and his friends now call black Range Rovers with privacy glass drug-dealer cars. To be avoided at all cost 😁

It definitely is a thing. But there is truth in the phrase "wealth whispers, money talks" IMHO.

My take on this whole issue is that it's borne initially not from people's prejudice's or jealousy of people achieveing upward social mobility, but about people with "new" money wanting, or feeling the need to show everyone their newly established status, acting as if anyone else cares, acting like they want everyone to know.

It's almost as if that by having achieved the financial ability to buy certain designer labels, go to certain destinations, buy a certain type of house in a specific type of area, that people with "new money" feel the need to showcase that they have a certain standard of living and do all of the things I've just listed above.

Needing or wanting anyone else to know or be impressed is pretry shallow, and it annoys the hell out of me. It's all a bit cringe.

I tend to think of new money people as being into hyper consumerism and doing things which are damaging the environment and harming wildlife. Poorer people can do this as well in their own way I suppose.

To add OP we would probably be considered the same as you except the Dubai holidays (nope zero appeal to us) we buy low cost clothes but have spent a lot on house and always have new cars.

I studied to work in a relatively low paying industry but was alway told o was academically capable so I quietly went on to aspire to work in a profession that was better paid and respected. I then trained and work in a senior clinical role in NHS ( quite well paid but not ultra high earning) My DH followed a similar path but he does earn v well but only achieved this later on so we not are v well off but not rolling in it.

As a result we live in a house with two kids at private school that brighter of dreamed of.

At what point should we have said to or one another ‘Careful now we are doing too well, we better stop’? for fear of stepping outside of lane.

It’s an odd place to be in - working class background with the trappings of middle class. We don’t easily fit in or are related to by others because we don’t neatly fit in. Trust me I have been explicitly judged for have less and having too much. I have a couple of friends who I related to on and trust to mention certain things to or else it’s met with ‘well it’s alright for you’.

Ive also had my DHs earnings looked up and referred to broadly- completely undermining two academic qualifications and two professional qualifications to qualify for my role. Yeah like my earnings count for nothing - even though I was almost earning double the person saying this.

You can’t win.

Agree with this completely. DH and I have also moved out of the financial bracket of which we were born but neither of us have ever experienced judgment like OP describes whatsoever. We made our money in the public sector and continue to do so, we actively choose state school despite having options, we holiday in socially respected destinations. We have one unremarkable car and and visually unremarkable wardrobes.

None of that is to say it’s ‘better’, but it certainly makes sense when discussing social perception.

That's just not true. If a teen said they wanted to earn money for a good lifestyle they would not be culturally critised in the UK. We have a whole education system to facilitate this. Maybe a couple of their demotivated friends might say getting stoned is better, but they wouldn't get a societal critism. The issue is not the ambition to create wealth it's how they interact after they have created wealth and some jealousy from those that spent their youth getting stoned to cover their inadequacy. This isn't unique to UK whatsoever. It's just a lazy stereotype.
People are judge on new wealth if it was created by screwing over their communities. For example rich construction companies that have moved in and out of bankruptcy to avoid paying suppliers or unscrupulous landlords etc.
But no young person has a societal judgement on an ambition to get rich and if they succeed and don't flaunt the fact others haven't succeeded, then only a very few jealous individuals will judge them. It's not structural in UK society as you seem to believe.
The Internet comments are not real life, just a few people who will be negative about anything.

It really isn’t. It happens in other countries too. The criticism and eye rolling just happens behind people’s backs. There’s a certain line where successful/well off becomes flashy and tacky and derided. In those countries it’s mostly judged on education levels /how you earned your money , so you’d have quite a bit of leeway OP since you became wealthy by going to uni and through a career , before you reached that limit.

And the exact wording of your post, OP, very much falls into the category that I have just outlined in my first post. You sort of proved my point with your post! The need to list what you can afford, where you can afford to go on holiday. It's often not jealousy - it's people thinking you lack class, which you demonstrate in your post.

😂😂

This is absolute peak making the point OP is talking about with racist underlines: a not so subtle denigration of a display of affluence as not just undesirable but criminal.

meanwhile at my DCs school the car park is frequently walk to wall black range rovers. Im 99% certain there isn’t a drug dealer amongst them. There are however some <sniff> sportsmen and <double sniff> property developers. Urgh!

I think the point that poster was making is that this could be a genuinely 100% accurate observation on your part but you still wouldn't know what they say or what jokes they make in private or in similar company.

And snobbery. There's no snob like an English snob. (I am English.) We out-snob every nation in the world except possibly India.

The British obsession with class is the height of silliness and totally outdated. Try not to let it get to you, OP.