To wonder why “new money” is so frowned upon in the UK?

[Namechanged2026]

Dh and I are what you would describe as ‘new money’. We both had very working class childhoods but have since earnt very well. We live in a big modern house, drive new cars (financed as it’s silly to put so much money into a depreciating asset - it works out cheaper to finance if you want a new car every 4 years) and enjoy a few abroad holidays per year (yes, we do like Dubai for the guarantee of weather, relatively short flight and quality of resorts (although we’re definitely not flashy Instagram types😂)). Our children go to private school and have had experiences that me and DH could only have dreamed of as kids.

We worked hard, got lucky and enjoy a lifestyle that we can afford. We don’t dress in tacky designer clothes (although we do have a few designer bags, belts, shoes between us), nor are we ‘flashy’.

But why is there so much snobbery towards this in the UK? Many people on super low incomes would talk about my situation negatively in a way that would suggest they would rather chose a lifestyle with a modest income and fewer luxuries because it’s almost embarrassing to want more than this. I see working class people use the phrase “money talks, wealth whispers” in reference to anything that looks like it might have been very obviously expensive. What do these people think that they would do if they all of a sudden had a super high income… just remain as they are as “money talks”?! Of course not. Yet they see no problem with the “old school” kind of wealth (country estates, kids at boarding school, muddy wellies etc etc).

It’s only in the UK that I think this attitude exists. In other countries it seems like such a positive thing to aim for a high flying career, to admit to wanting to earn as much money as possible, to discuss wanting to travel lavishly and experience lots of things. It’s actively encouraged. However in the UK, I think there is an attitude of mocking these kind of attitudes and suggesting people are shallow for aiming for this. I remember being at uni and telling a family friend that I wanted to buy a house in X area when I was older, only to be met with “is round here (a council estate) not good enough for you then?”.

I don’t think people look down at all on hard work bringing success in the UK. But the term “new money” connotes conspicuous consumption (or, put crassly, being “flash”). And that probably is a bit frowned upon and seen as showing off.

Class consciousness isn’t limited to those at the top of the class ladder, though, or to those with money, whatever class they are.

My own parents were very against me going to university (‘not for the likes of us’) and having a professional career, and are enormously uneasy that DH and I live in a big old house in an ‘old money’ part of the city where a few family members worked as servants in the 1950s. to them I’ve ’got above myself’.

Your last point really isn’t true, though. It’s a hilarious Mn myth that the UC are a delightful, hail-fellow-well-met bunch who treat everyone the same. You’re just beyond the pale to them.

Well, I’ve not come across this IRL. The expression “nouveau riches” is centuries old. What’s parochial is thinking that it’s only a feature of the UK.

In some cultures it’s important to demonstrate wealth. In most Northern European cultures that’s regarded with disdain by those with old money and also by those without much at all. Definitely this is true in Germany, Sweden and Denmark.

New money also meant trade, and as Alan Clarke described Michael Heseltine, they’re the sort of people who have to buy their own furniture. Though he only got his from his father and was dangerously near to being an arriviste himself.

Oh come on, society is filled with bitter people who think anyone who is doing better than them either had it handed to them or just got lucky. It’s pathetic.

Mumsnet is not always a good gauge of the real world.

While there certainly still is a class divide thats often more about manners and how you present yourself than it's about wealth

What I've noticed there being a lot of recently is OP's wanting to talk about how well off they are financially under the guise of asking naive questions.

For example, @Namechanged2026 , you could have asked this without going into detail about the financing of your cars, what designer accessories you possess, whether or not you holiday in Dubai etc
Just saying you're new money would have been adequate.

It’s not just the UK. I wonder why you think anywhere is different.

I think it’s about values and culture. The stereotypes still exist of ‘new money’ being flashy, tasteless, rude, brash loud and obsessed with fame and being admired. Rather a contrast with the ‘old money’ people who live frugally, own crumbling stately homes, go to the opera/galleries etc are involved in charitable good works and spend their holidays in Scotland.

Neither are better or worse but they are hugely different.

I very much doubt anyone on a low income is accusing you of being new money. It’s an expression pointed towards newly wealthy people by the established classes. But it’s also not 1912 and we’re not on the Titanic so they probably don’t give a shit about you either.

This.

I don't care how much money someone has, but blathering on about how well off you are is just distasteful and a shit way to behave.

But why is it frowned upon to have ‘flashy’ things? It’s definitely a British thing. Why should someone have to live frugally to avoid negativity?

In other countries, it is considered a positive thing to have enough money to spend to buy extravagant things. Where as in the UK, many working class/lower class people will trot out with “a brand new car? Ghastly! I’d much rather my 15 year old corsa that cost me £2,000” etc.

I wanted to clarify else I’m sure I’d be met with many comments of “this only exists when people are super tacky and flashy - this must be you OP” when I’m not.

I suggest that you change your friends and acquaintances. Where I am, my friends and colleagues admire those who’ve done well financially, but don’t value them less or more than those who are struggling. Most of us realise that a lot of this boils down to luck.

Gently, OP, if you’re getting this kind of reaction from a lot of people, you might want to consider whether your own behaviour around your spending is contributing.

i don’t really see this where I live. I think it is probably who you are mixing with and your own self confidence.

You have hang ups

not everyone wants loads of money / many people want enough and enough doesn’t have to be mega bucks.

you can travel and experience all sorts of wonders without being mega rich to give a simple example . Flash cars and expensive clothes and jewellery often look ugly to me - so I won’t admire the if I think they look crap

some people think you are narrow minded if you are obsessively money focussed , they might think you are a bit stupid if you think money gives you everything an if you think those without so much money are losing out on life

so don’t brag and boast because it’s boring and don’t assume your life is better because you don’t know that , you are just being arrogant then

Its not frowned upon as such. But folk who haven't been brought up with money have a different attitude. Its all about how good a car they've got and how their house is redecorated every year. Folk who've always had money tend not to focus on these things.

I don’t think it’s frowned upon, it’s more that it’s seen as showing off.

Perhaps they are not using the term “new money”. I’m describing a negative view held by working class and lower middle class people towards people of the same classes who have earned a lot of money.

It's not frowned upon to have flashy things, it's frowned upon to brag about it and shove it in people's faces. Like a PP said, if everyone you meet has the same reaction to you, maybe you should consider your own behaviour.

I’m not really getting this a lot. I’ve had a couple of comments over the years but nothing major. Mainly from family friends who seem to hate that I’ve not stayed in the same place as them and had the same type of career as them. But there is a general feeling on social media and MN etc that I’m describing.

I think tribalism is a good shout to describe it.

I do notice in your post that you refer to ‘tacky designer clothes’ and also to legitimate versus non-legitimate reasons for liking Dubai. Which suggests that you have some snobbery yourself!

It’s circular though isn’t it? You know that in the UK, there will be an exquisitely precise class ‘placing’ of you based on many small facts about yourself, in any interaction at all (though the placing may be varied depending on who is interacting with you, whether it’s a rough sleeper chatting with you as you buy the Big Issue, the vicar you visit to arrange your marriage, a business associate etc etc. So you respond almost in self defence by ‘placing’ yourself.

I think it’s why British people experience a special kind of relief if travelling or living abroad, from being freed from that. I also think it’s why we don’t do the ‘what do you do’ question that is common in America, because your job is a tiny part of how you get placed here. By the time you are actually talking to someone you meet, you already know their choice of transport to meet you, their makeup and clothes, their jewellery, their gait, their voice, their accent of course, the way they come into the room, their language choices. What job they do is pretty irrelevant by that time.

Why? Theoretically it’s based on the UK having survival based on quite a static location-based class system where your progression in life was due to exactly where you fit in that system. Once you acknowledged that system, you could progress quite well but you didn’t discard it because it was your route up. I’m reading a biography of Thomas Cromwell - he used to be sneered at by enemies as ‘the shearman’ even during his rise to incredible power and wealth, and that’s what he was called after his fall. He never escaped it.

Exactly this. I don’t really understand why this is confusing for you. It’s not exactly a secret that the UK is class obsessed…

Because people don't like having things shoved in their face. Having a new car is fine, banging on about it is not (especially when you've not been asked and insist on bringing it up anyway).

I haven’t faced this reaction in real life. But I see it all over social media and MN.

It’s not only towards people who brag about it.