To wonder why “new money” is so frowned upon in the UK?

[Namechanged2026]

Dh and I are what you would describe as ‘new money’. We both had very working class childhoods but have since earnt very well. We live in a big modern house, drive new cars (financed as it’s silly to put so much money into a depreciating asset - it works out cheaper to finance if you want a new car every 4 years) and enjoy a few abroad holidays per year (yes, we do like Dubai for the guarantee of weather, relatively short flight and quality of resorts (although we’re definitely not flashy Instagram types😂)). Our children go to private school and have had experiences that me and DH could only have dreamed of as kids.

We worked hard, got lucky and enjoy a lifestyle that we can afford. We don’t dress in tacky designer clothes (although we do have a few designer bags, belts, shoes between us), nor are we ‘flashy’.

But why is there so much snobbery towards this in the UK? Many people on super low incomes would talk about my situation negatively in a way that would suggest they would rather chose a lifestyle with a modest income and fewer luxuries because it’s almost embarrassing to want more than this. I see working class people use the phrase “money talks, wealth whispers” in reference to anything that looks like it might have been very obviously expensive. What do these people think that they would do if they all of a sudden had a super high income… just remain as they are as “money talks”?! Of course not. Yet they see no problem with the “old school” kind of wealth (country estates, kids at boarding school, muddy wellies etc etc).

It’s only in the UK that I think this attitude exists. In other countries it seems like such a positive thing to aim for a high flying career, to admit to wanting to earn as much money as possible, to discuss wanting to travel lavishly and experience lots of things. It’s actively encouraged. However in the UK, I think there is an attitude of mocking these kind of attitudes and suggesting people are shallow for aiming for this. I remember being at uni and telling a family friend that I wanted to buy a house in X area when I was older, only to be met with “is round here (a council estate) not good enough for you then?”.

I agree!!!!!!

Welcome to the internet.
Is it your first time here?

Definitely jumped the shark there, OP.
Nobody's that naive.
And if you honestly believe that people don’t lie on the internet - including making up little wish-fulfilment fantasies - you're probably a bit of a danger to yourself being on it.

Not in the slightest. How else was I supposed to frame my question?

You didn't have to mention anything about sending your kids to private school, your big modern houses, new car or posh holidays. You could have just asked the question without all the "humble" brags shoved in.

This is a mumsnet thing not a UK thing.

How do people know you are "new money" if you don't make it obvious?
I have been equally lucky, my ds is privately educated, i come from a FSM family but no-one in RL knows my financial status or needs to.
Perhaps your new cars every four years, your holidays in Dubai, your big modern house, designer bags but mostly the fact you care, give it away.

But why do you look down upon people wanting something nice? People chose the brand new larger car as it’s simply nicer to drive and feels more luxurious inside compared to the estate car. Yet you would judge the person for choosing the luxurious option over the frugal option even if money wasn’t an issue.

It’s not effecting the environment as the older model is bought by somebody else, not disposed of.

Why is it a humble brag for the OP to factually state what her family’s lifestyle looks like?

Do you find all mentions of private schools snobby? All the London 11+ threads? All the rightmove links of those trying to sell their £1m house?

It’s both jealousy and hilarious and it comes from the firmly middle class.

MN loves to lean into the myth of the landed gentry: the image of Rupes and Clemmie with their moth-eaten cashmere, 20-year-old Volvo, homes covered in dog hair and the reputation of being the “nicest, least flashy people in the village.” Contrasted with the flashy, self-promoting Callum and Jade who drive Range Rovers holiday in Dubai and are kitted out in athleisure and LV.

Conveniently ignoring that Rupes’ wealth was amassed through centuries of systemic oppression and exploitation. And of course it is just Rupes wealth because that Manor House is not being split in the divorce, even if divorce was for “people like them”. In contrast, Callum and Jade earn their living through running legitimate businesses that provide employment and contribute meaningfully to their communities.

The forelock tugging of the MN middle classes is so fucking weird

I really don’t need to make things up for the internet. It has no impact on me whether you think this is real or not.

OP has obviously never seen Harry Enfield as "Loadsamoney".

Don't kid yourself, old money people are incredibly snobby, they just don't make a song and dance about it in front of the lower orders. Among their own it's a different story.

I’m not bragging. I’m just stating facts.

Absolutely this. I remember a Tatler piece on the Middleton sisters at Marlborough, with quotes that looked admiring from parents who had children there at the same time (‘Oh, they brought such wonderful picnics to sports days in their pristine car! And the girls were so well-kitted out, always with brand-new sports equipment and lovely new uniforms and luggage! They made us feel terribly scruffy!’)

Which were of course in fact saying that the Middletons were trying-too-hard nouveau riches who hadn’t grasped that this tribe’s badges of belonging were battered old trunks from great-grandparents, hand me down blazers, dog-hair covered old estates etc.

Jealousy fuelled by seeing someone from their own lane step outside it - in SOME cases it’s because it signals their own lack of motivation/capacity or failings.

It was commented on by a few people my immediate neighbour was ‘mad jealous’ of our house renovation. All the other neighbours were complimentary to what we have done. I could not understand why (but I don’t thinks they like us and probably see us as new money) as house nearby are far bigger and done well (arguably plenty others with bigger better to be jealous at). I looked this up and it’s something about being upstaged in your street. Well if true they must have been frothing when the other new neighbours all did notable improvements to their properties

Jealousy maybe not even of the actual material acquisitions more about the achievements.

I think of you notice yourself been jealous/grass is greener it’s time to start watering your own grass

The honest answer is that a lot of middle class people would find your lifestyle and consumption tacky because they value other things. So they're being snobbish towards you because your tastes are still working-class. Not saying that's right btw. And there probably is some resentment from the people you grew up around. You do have more than them now, why do you need people to congratulate you for it? Perhaps they feel it unfair you have more - yes no doubt you worked for it, but lots of people work hard but don't have real opportunities to accumulate wealth.

The UK loathes aspiration and success for some reason

this in a nutshell. In most countries being ambitious and earning money is applauded. In the US if you come from nothing and work your way up to be wealthy you’d be patted on the back by most. If you got a fancy new car most people would say ‘you deserve it’

the uk has a weird loathing of anyone doing well. Even on this thread it’s dressed up as calling people with money who buy nice things as crass/vulgar/flashy. People are conditioned not to talk about wealth and down play it - I’ve definitely done that as so not to make someone else feel bad. Crazy really.

I think the root of it is class system (don’t get above your station type thinking) and jealousy. The UK is quite a poor country propped up by a few rich outliers and lots of state welfare. Therefore there’s an insecurity to most people’s finances that makes them spiteful about anyone doing better and refusal to accept that education, aspiration and hard work can lead to wealth.

But in The Netherlands, the UAE, the USA, it would be “oh how good for her that she’s managed to achieve all of that, especially considering her background”. But in the UK it’s “how tacky that she has this display of wealth!!”

Why does anyone want a flashy car?

That's absolutely fine.
It makes no impact on me whether it is real or not.
You were the one who asked why you'd make it up - I suggested one reason and there are plenty of others.

Why should people admire your wealth? You haven't said a single thing about how you've earnt it. Personally I admire people who've tried to do something useful with their lives, whatever 'station' in life they find themselves in. Just earning lots of money doesn't really seem that admirable to me tbh.

Yes! And if Rupe had any spare money he’d certainly be buying himself a brand new car! The only old money families that have an old battered car as their main car are those who no longer have liquid cash.

Because it's not remotely relevant to the question.

If someone is genuinely asking about the 11+ or which private school to send their child to, that's totally different

But why do you care what is the view on MN.
The majority of opinions expressed on here have nothing to do with real life.
Be proud of what you’ve achieved and just enjoy life.

Oh the irony. Your posts drips with your superiority towards WC people. Their 'miserly lives', that they could 'improve' themselves. You do realise you're talking about the people you need? To produce your food, keep the country clean, build, manufacture the essentials of your life, provide care services, serve you in shops and restaurants? What do you think life would look like if all of these people turned their noses up and decided these were things to escape from?
The roles taken by WC people are essential, and deserving of respect. Yet all people like you see is a group of people who obviously haven't tried hard enough, to pity and to blame.
Is it any wonder with attitudes like yours that some WC people feel wary when a friend or family member becomes 'something more' as you so charmingly phrase it?