To wonder why “new money” is so frowned upon in the UK?

[Namechanged2026]

Dh and I are what you would describe as ‘new money’. We both had very working class childhoods but have since earnt very well. We live in a big modern house, drive new cars (financed as it’s silly to put so much money into a depreciating asset - it works out cheaper to finance if you want a new car every 4 years) and enjoy a few abroad holidays per year (yes, we do like Dubai for the guarantee of weather, relatively short flight and quality of resorts (although we’re definitely not flashy Instagram types😂)). Our children go to private school and have had experiences that me and DH could only have dreamed of as kids.

We worked hard, got lucky and enjoy a lifestyle that we can afford. We don’t dress in tacky designer clothes (although we do have a few designer bags, belts, shoes between us), nor are we ‘flashy’.

But why is there so much snobbery towards this in the UK? Many people on super low incomes would talk about my situation negatively in a way that would suggest they would rather chose a lifestyle with a modest income and fewer luxuries because it’s almost embarrassing to want more than this. I see working class people use the phrase “money talks, wealth whispers” in reference to anything that looks like it might have been very obviously expensive. What do these people think that they would do if they all of a sudden had a super high income… just remain as they are as “money talks”?! Of course not. Yet they see no problem with the “old school” kind of wealth (country estates, kids at boarding school, muddy wellies etc etc).

It’s only in the UK that I think this attitude exists. In other countries it seems like such a positive thing to aim for a high flying career, to admit to wanting to earn as much money as possible, to discuss wanting to travel lavishly and experience lots of things. It’s actively encouraged. However in the UK, I think there is an attitude of mocking these kind of attitudes and suggesting people are shallow for aiming for this. I remember being at uni and telling a family friend that I wanted to buy a house in X area when I was older, only to be met with “is round here (a council estate) not good enough for you then?”.

People who choose flashy new cars, other signs of ostentatious wealth and holidays to Dubai are, in my experience, those who have little education beyond secondary school or are very working class.

A lot of your critics have money but you are assuming they don’t because they are choosing not to spend their money on those outward displays of wealth.

You haven't seen conspicuous consumption if you haven't seen middle eastern conspicuous consumption.

It really is only in the UK and areas deeply steeped in British culture that the value judgements are made wrt how you present yourself.

There is no innate virtue in driving a clapped out old Volvo that reeks of wet dog, but there are British people who sincerely believe this makes them Better People than those who drive a shiny new BMW and get it cleaned regularly.

Even worse, there are British people who have very little by way of prospects who accept the lowly status of their lives because they believe the myth that only the upper classes and the lowest classes are happy and secure, and those in the middle who want better for themselves - who do not know their place, in other words - will never know happiness, because happiness comes from knowing your place.

Hence the self-limiting attitudes that work against education.

Is there something wrong with having very little education or being working class?

I think you are projecting massively there.

Flashiness is very looked down upon. Brand new luxury car, flashy designer clothes etc can be seen as tacky and poor taste regardless of where the money comes from. It's not about doing well for yourself but about being flashy vs being subtle and tasteful.

It is because you make people feel bad - which psychologically they can't admit, so instead they rationalize it.

When a person meets "old money" it is really easy to excuse their wealth in a way that doesn't reflect badly on them.

I experience this a lot. I do well, but I live in a sphere full of "very" wealthy people (which is not a brag, in fact it is a constant problem in my life, because my son will go up comparing our very good life, with the lives of millionaires and feeling bad, despite us doing very well compared to the "average")

And when I meet the very rich.. you hear what they do and it sounds so impressive. He is a CEO, she owns a business in this, he does this...

Then you talk to them and you realize... oh.. it was your father's company. oh.. your grandfather is a multi-millionaire who gave you tons of money which you used to buy property.. Oh, you married into wealth etc.

Then all the bad feelings go away, because there is no longer any comparison between your life and theirs. So why would you feel bad?

But when you meet that rare person who is self-made. They make you feel bad, because there is no excuse. They came from where you came from, and yet they are doing better than you. No exceptional family circumstances, they are just doing better than you, and it feels bad.

It also makes the old-money feel bad because they know, deep down, that you earned it.. and they didn't.

It sounds like it’s your family that has an issue reading the comment about attending a family event.

I have a very different life financially and mine are the absolute opposite to this, my lovely hardworking sisters who never earned very much at all would declare proudly about the career I had.

I think your families reaction is clouding things for you.

@Smileysmoke I think you have a valid point about modesty. DH is from old money, landowners. House and land are sold now, last bit about a decade ago. MIL mentioned how her parents had attended the Queens coronation when we were watching The Crown. I had known her for at least 20 years by then. They were a sort of hunting, shooting, sailing, horse riding sort of family.

I've wondered the same before now, OP. Seems being a trust fund baby is more palatable for many than having worked for your wealth. I think part of it is MC people being slightly miffed that tradesmen now outearn them a lot of the time and that the average salary of a bricklayer is higher than the average office salary.

It's defo cultural as well. I know a lot of wealthy Indian men and they all seem to have pretty flash cars. SVRs, 6-7 series BMWs etc.

Flashy or tasteful are very much in the eye of the beholder.

Are you sure you're not just conditioned to look down on one and look up to the other?

There's nothing inherently good or bad about inanimate objects.

It's cultural in terms of the morals and values that are common in the UK. It's not seen as good taste to flash wealth with conspicuous objects/logos/behaviours. It's different in other parts of the world but here it is seen as bad taste/tacky. A subtle expensive item might cost the same as something printed all over with a designer logo but is seen as more tasteful. Every country and culture has judgments like this.

I have to disagree with this point. Established families view new wealth as unequal to those with old wealth, however I'm not sure if your wealth is in the bracket that would register with them. It's based on the choices each make around spending their money being so different. Dubai for example isn't the destination you will find old money, similarly your children will be unlikely to appear in Tatler.

It works out cheaper. Say you purchase a brand new car for £120,000… the payments may be £1000 per month meaning that you’ve paid £48,000 across 4 years. However the car would typically be worth less than £72,000 at the end of the 4 years (the £120,000 - £48,000) so it’s better for you to simply hand it back to the finance company at this point rather than actually owning it. I’ve obviously hugely simplified all of the numbers here but that’s the jist. I know some super super wealthy people and everyone who wants to regularly swap their cars does this rather than buys outright. Buying outright is only better if you plan on keeping the car for years and years.

I understand the deep rooted snobbery from the upperclasses. However I don’t understand why the working classes or averagely middle classes would look down upon somebody who has worked hard and made lots of money (assuming it has been made ethically). I would see this as something to aspire to, or at least think “fair play to them”, however there’s so much negativity towards anyone who wants to aim high in the UK.

It’s just classism.
Working class people with money are just still working class people. It’s your working classness that is frowned upon. Not your money. IMO

People like others to stay in their lane. This is why fellow working class people frown upon their fellow WC people making money. That and jealousy.

And do you think all ‘old money’ is completely legitimate and ethical?

Just HNW I think.

As someone else said, I think it's being flashy that is looked down upon somewhat. I have a friend like this. Her and her husband have a good deal of money and sound in a similar boat to you, but every bloody time I see here or she messages, she will be saying, look at this top I got from such and such a designer, look at this burberry bag my husband just got me on his trip to vegas, should we get this range rover or this jaguar etc etc. It just seems attention seeking and desperate to me.I like her for who she is not what bag she's got or what car she drives. She also came from nothing so maybe it is to do with that.

For the record I am not poor myself, but I put no value in designer bags etc and so we are at odds i guess on that and it does rub me up a little bit the wrong way, but not enough that I think about it often.

Yes, great example!

How would anyone know if your money is ‘new’ or just plain old money? If you’re on a horse it’s old and in a car it’s new? Mad that you have time to think deeply on this.

Oh I don’t like people like that either. But I don’t think it’s just the money that makes people like that… I think you get people in all ‘income brackets’ like that.

Judging from your opening post it’s the massive braggard conversations and social media posts that people turn away from.

Old money is quiet. No one is shouting about it. It’s unassuming. It’s often perceived as land, big houses and holes in cashmere.

New money is loud. Ostentatious. Has Del Boy vibes. Its new and shiny and big and comes with people with no class. They might buy a house in a quaint place and do lots of house renovations that aren’t in keeping with the locality and have no interest or care at how the locals feel. We have a rich tradesman locally who bought a bungalow on a desirable road and has made it into a local eyesore by razing the bungalow and building a huge monstrosity. He lives there with a fleet of expensive cars outside and every time I drive past the architecture hurts my eyes. I know he has a party lifestyle so I’m sure he’s very popular with all his retired neighbours 🤣

I am from a working class background made good, and I do not think less of people for being working class or having a low level of education. In itself, these features are fine.

But the conspicuous consumption involved is a feature of people who are ignorant of what their impact is on the world. Why would anyone with the money otherwise act this way?

Well I guess the alternative is that they understand what they are doing and do it anyway. They think, I’m ok, and so I don’t give a shit about the environment / resource use / modern slavery, etc. I only care about my own comfort.

I feel as though there is also often a strong element of insecurity - feeling that they need the validation of others. They need people to act impressed with how they have done.

I have made different choices with how I spend my money because I care about things like modern slavery and resource use. A lot of people who have built something successful up from scratch do.

There’s no backlash against aiming high. There is a backlash against behaviour and choices once you get there. As others have pointed out, the UK, at heart, has a strong sense of socialist idealism, because our infrastructures are based on social and public principles. Your choice of car, holidays, school and house will speak to where people think your priorities lie.

I have been described as old money (I’m not) and I guess I find your conspicuous lifestyle puzzling.

I cannot imagine living somewhere people can see my property from the road, repeatedly buying new cars on some sort of finance deal or wearing clothes with any obtrusive branding.

That said I am aware people judge me for driving a 20 year old car that doesn’t lock or rarely purchasing anything new.

It’s just two polar lifestyles.