To wonder why “new money” is so frowned upon in the UK?

[Namechanged2026]

Dh and I are what you would describe as ‘new money’. We both had very working class childhoods but have since earnt very well. We live in a big modern house, drive new cars (financed as it’s silly to put so much money into a depreciating asset - it works out cheaper to finance if you want a new car every 4 years) and enjoy a few abroad holidays per year (yes, we do like Dubai for the guarantee of weather, relatively short flight and quality of resorts (although we’re definitely not flashy Instagram types😂)). Our children go to private school and have had experiences that me and DH could only have dreamed of as kids.

We worked hard, got lucky and enjoy a lifestyle that we can afford. We don’t dress in tacky designer clothes (although we do have a few designer bags, belts, shoes between us), nor are we ‘flashy’.

But why is there so much snobbery towards this in the UK? Many people on super low incomes would talk about my situation negatively in a way that would suggest they would rather chose a lifestyle with a modest income and fewer luxuries because it’s almost embarrassing to want more than this. I see working class people use the phrase “money talks, wealth whispers” in reference to anything that looks like it might have been very obviously expensive. What do these people think that they would do if they all of a sudden had a super high income… just remain as they are as “money talks”?! Of course not. Yet they see no problem with the “old school” kind of wealth (country estates, kids at boarding school, muddy wellies etc etc).

It’s only in the UK that I think this attitude exists. In other countries it seems like such a positive thing to aim for a high flying career, to admit to wanting to earn as much money as possible, to discuss wanting to travel lavishly and experience lots of things. It’s actively encouraged. However in the UK, I think there is an attitude of mocking these kind of attitudes and suggesting people are shallow for aiming for this. I remember being at uni and telling a family friend that I wanted to buy a house in X area when I was older, only to be met with “is round here (a council estate) not good enough for you then?”.

As others have said, people are sneery about this because they are quite obviously jealous of you and resentful, with themselves mainly, as they - for whatever reason - haven't been able to achieve the same.
Anyone who says they don't at least aspire to have your kind of lifestyle is frankly lying. As they say: 'Life is about choices. If you don't like your life, make better choices!'
Sounds like you have. Embrace it.

There's so much venom directed towards high earners on MN. So much, how dare we ask to keep the fruits of our labour.

given the lifestyle I could choose and the one I do - I think it’s absurd to think that everyone is jealous

the arrogance - that everyone wants what you do, that your way is better than any others shows you up as shallow

What an utterly ridiculous assertion! We could afford a RR and Dubai but over my dead body. I am not jealous, why do people always write that, it's just absurd .

As lots of us have said repeatedly it's the conspicuous consumption not the actual money earned.

Fair point. I didn't read the whole thread. Just the OP

Inferiority complex and envy, and self hatred that they project onto you.

Couldn't agree more.

The phrase 'conspicuous consumption' is loaded with judgement and I'd like to suggest it's a mischaracterisation of others' behaviour related to feelings of the beholder.

It's not conspicuous if you don't make it your business to find out about it. It's not done to rub your nose in your own lack of consumption. There's a strange psychological dynamic going on there.

What you're saying is that your class markers are superior to the OP's class markers.

You're proving her point.

(And I personally think it's crass and embarrassing to blather about your ties to the RF and your old money. I come from old money and the ways it was come by were utterly shameful. Most old money found its way into the coffers of the rich by way of the exploitation of the poor and the powerless. The RF are nothing to brag about these days).

You’re seeing it on MN because the British philosophy is that talking about your wealth and assets is crass yet so people like you OP just don’t get this.

I work with a few rich people with 8 figure value houses but you wouldn’t know it if you spoke
to them.

It wouldn’t occur to them to do what you’ve done on this thread. You seem to have a pathological need to talk about money.

Tall poppy syndrome, Rachel Reeves types.

It’s conspicuous consumption also it’s expecting adoration because you have money as though it’s proof of your high moral state and innate worth

I read the thread, OP has nice stuff but doesn't rub it in the face of those that don't. That's fine.

Op ( or her clones )
posts frequently about how people are negative about her wealth

No one is saying you can’t. It’s how you behave. Do you believe that your money makes you better than other people and is a license to behave badly?
I am a high earner before you accuse me of jealousy (as in £500,000 high earner). However I don’t think my money makes me better than anyone else.

edit for typo.

I feel a lot of the responses here are v disingenuous- look at any of the ‘class’ threads it will mention all the things OP has listed with derision. OP for what it’s worth I think it is particularly seeped into British culture as it is an old county with a hereditary monarchy which suggests that one family is the ‘best’ and everything flows down from that point. There is therefore an in built class system and what you are experiencing is class snobbery - obviously if you had stayed on the estate and ‘knew your place’ you wouldn’t get this as you would be surrounded by others who are similar. In a slightly less serious and cultural way I think people are irked by seeing people with money who spend it in a different way that way would if they had it and everyone thinks their own taste is superior of course

More skilled, more valuable to the economy etc. but you make a valuable point on behaviour. I think OP buys nice stuff to enjoy and feel good instead of rubbing it into the faces of the have notes.

What do you do btw if you're okay sharing?

Greed is the root of all social injustice according to the Prophet Muhammed. So it's not just British culture that frowns on "flashy".

There's a difference between walking around in designer clothes and walking around in designer clothes and looking down those who wear Primark.

OP, this is your third thread on this topic since yesterday! What's going on with you?

Nobody cares about cars - except you!

I can't imagine anybody defining their position in life by a car. Ffs! Who cares?

Get whatever car you like. Just stop going on and on and on and on about this!

The behaviour is the big one for me. I don’t expect others to pick up after me, I don’t look down on those who wear Primark etc.

Regarding my occupation, I won’t give too much detail as it would be outing, but I am a consultant in my industry and have been for 15 years, and have 25 years experience and education in total. I have three degrees. Only one is technically required, but the others add depth to my knowledge and experience.

You make a fair sensible point.

I agree with your final point, but I think the first about a hierarchy of families is very outdated. I know plenty of creaky old aristo families who don't feel " above" other well-connected, well-educated families who have certain values. Class exists, but it isn't quite as rigid as a spanning out from one "top" family in a kind of numbered sequence.

I agree. I think the UK places high value on modesty and this is maybe what op is referring to... It is 100% yuck to talk about your wealth or flash it to people who are never likely to experience the same. I have some rich friends who are modest and just wonderful people. I know one couple who make my skin crawl because of the way they flash their wealth and prosperity in the face of others.