What is considered rich these days??

[Soccermomsavestheday]

So my husband and I live a pretty decent life but not one that warrants being called ‘financially out of touch’ and ‘how the other half live’ in my opinion which is just a couple of example of my sil many comments towards us.

My husband earns around £250k a year, I don’t have to work so don’t. We live in a nice 4 bedroom detached house with a lovely sized wrap around garden. We’re lucky enough to send our children to private school. We don’t go on extravagant holidays or wear high end designer clothes etc. We both drive Range Rovers but one is second hand (5 years old). And bottom line we have worked really hard to be where we are but don’t consider ourselves ‘Rich’ more so comfortable that we can live a modest life without financial restraints

it really bugs me when she says stuff like ‘you wouldn’t know what it’s like to budget’ and ‘it’s alright for some’ etc. I do budget monthly and am very much aware of how much things costs etc

Am I being unreasonable in this situation?

in MN, everyone who earns more than you is "Rich"

so this thread is never going to go well.

Actually, this really is coming across as just an excuse to boast (if it's true) and it's really nothing to do with your SiL's comments, is it?
If anything, you may quite like her showing she envies you.

I'm sure that is how you feel about it but how you feel is not factual. Your husband pays for everything and you do the admin.
You are both wrong, and coming across as a bit dim.
Perhaps going back into the workforce would help re not being so out of touch?

I thought it was worth an ask on a thread rather than asking friends or family as it’s always awkward and sometimes inappropriate to talk about finances that way. Our families have no idea how much we earn to be honest

To me, rich is going to bed knowing your children are well. Nothing like it in this lifetime.

£250k a year is a HUGE salary to most people. You’re very out of touch. And you are lucky. You may have worked hard but you say that like others haven’t. That isn’t the case. Many, many people work very hard and due to life circumstances will never earn even half or less than half of your household income.

No. 160 after tax. 20k per child private school. So 2 kids? 1/3 of salary on private school???

OP It’s all relative. I think I get what you are trying to say. I earn about the same as your DH, and also chose private education. At one point school fees were taking up 40% of net income, and mortgage another 40%, so actually yes it was “Primark and staycations” for us, but we were hugely aware it was a choice that we were very privileged to have.

(And yes I work hard, but millions of people in this country work just as hard or harder but don’t have the same level of income. And that is down to luck.)

A yearly bonus pays for the private schools upfront that isn’t included in the yearly income. Otherwise we wouldn’t afford it so easily.

He*

🍪

Leaving 120k after tax to live on. Even if they had 5 kids, that leaves 60k after tax.

Rich, absolutely rich.

Yes! This!

when I say we worked hard I meant it wasn’t given to us and we weren’t given any help financially. My husband is a barrister. He works in a well paid profession. It wasn’t luck, he studied hard to get where he is.

Yes lots of people work hard but in professions that don’t reward in higher wages. I would say two things can be true at the same time 😃

To even be able to contemplate sending your dc to private school is a privilege and means you are rich by most people’s standards.

Are you just going to respond to the posters who agree with you?

Hello OP
My husband is a 'high earner' (~130k) and I am a middle earner (50k pro rata as I'm part time).

Together we have a very comfortable life; we live in an affluent town, quite a high mortgage (2.5k pcm) on a 4 bed detached, two nice second hand cars, camping holidays every summer usually, not much foreign travel, can't afford to send kids to private. But whatever food/meals out/books/games we want without much bother. Monthly savings to kids ISAs etc.

I would say we are 'very well off' and that you were rich.

Someone who lives in less well off circumstances would say we were rich, it's all subjective isn't it?

Barristers don't get paid annual bonuses

On the face of it, your SILs comments are rude, insomuch as even though you clearly are very rich, they're still rude things to say.

However, I do wonder about the other side of the conversation, that we're not privy to. If you were just minding your own business buying loo roll and she came out with "you don't know what it's like to budget", it's a bit different to if you were hand -wringing about the cost of loo roll blowing your budget and she was understandably irritated.

Fair enough so then 25o isn’t really the salary that you’re on. No judgement here. If people have earned money honestly and fairly do what you like. If you’re not in debt and not gaining from some dodgy scheme and paying more tax than most that will inevitably help others I cannot see any reason for people to judge you negatively.

I make a habit of not arguing with strangers on the internet. I always choose kindness as much as I can ❤️

Yes ofc you're rich. But tbh, I wonder how in touch the average poster on Mumsnet is (or I am, for that matter - it's so easy to think your own bubble is the world, right?).

I earn a fraction of what your husband does and I consider it a decent wage compared to most - I would get stick if I called myself working class. But I'm still not sure I could afford to buy a decent house where I live, because my mortgage would be half my monthly income. Your outgoings are a lot higher than mine, and ofc you can earn a lot and still struggle if, say, you're disabled, paying for care for a family member, etc. But you're definitely still rich. I'd say anyone earning above 100k is; hell, arguably quite a bit lower than that.

Your SIL said it a bit tactlessly I agree, because noone knows what anyone's situation is ultimately - but I understand why she thought it.

And yet you started the goadiest of goady mn threads. Aye all reet. 😂

Of course you do. Goadily posting about how much your husband earns is just oh so kind.

Sorry you’re right! He’s an equity partner and has drawings yearly in a lump sum like a bonus. I didn’t know whether to explain that or not so simplified it.

As you said you don't work you need to change "we have worked really hard" to "he has worked really hard". Self aggrandizing by its very definition is fake!