Does anyone else struggle to clean and tidy their house?

[cardiG]

I have two children, work FT and also am anaemic, which I know is a factor here. But I’m really struggling to get anything done. I sit down and can’t get back up. I the procrastinate out of exhaustion and then try and get some stuff done before going to bed, which means I am up later than I should be, and the cycle repeats itself. I feel completely overwhelmed by the thought of cleaning the whole house. DH does lots, but is often away, and I hate feeling like I’m not pulling my weight.

I am currently on iron tablets, so working on the anaemia side of things, but I don’t tolerate them well, so it’s not been so easy.

Can anyone resonate and have any advice?

Depends how much you think you need to do

Im frequently amazed at what people think is 'cleaning' on here, moving furniture, skirting boards, something called a 'deep clean', windows, etc

All unnecessary in my view.

Clean toilet, clean sinks, clean cooker hob (once a week), hoover the bits you can see, quick mop now and then.

Worktops wiped once a day, washing up once a day (some things only need a rinse)

Put a wash on a few times a week, shake vigorously before hanging and dont iron a thing

Change the sheets weekly if you can, if not fortnightly will do.

Everynight, spend 10 mins and no more, putting things back in their drawers and cupboards so they're put away.

Thats it.

That list is helpful. Thank you. I just feel very overwhelmed and exhausted, literally all the time. That list, even though you’ve simplified everything, still feels a lot to do daily, on top of work, school run, clubs etc.

If you’re on iron tabs from the docs, may I recommend these instead https://amzn.eu/d/0b08YC41

gentler on the tummy, have bit C for absorption and much better than what the GP prescribes.

but I feel you. I feel like I’m chasing my tail to just do a basic level of clean

OP, maybe if you give us an idea of what your week looks like, in terms of being out of the house, how many children et cetera we could help you devise a simple but effective plan. I have a very tidy and clean home BUT I caveat that by admitting that I am one of those people who actually uses pottering around and tidying things up as a form of relaxation. Having said that, I also always find that systems and routines have to be simple to my working in the long-term.

I have a cleaner. No kids (desperately trying!) but three messy dogs 😂

Both me and my OH out the house 8am to 8pm 5 days a week and in all honesty, I’m not giving up my weekend to clean.

Lazy, most probs. Exhausted, most definitely.

Your best bet is not to let things get dirty (I know that sounds like a twattish thing to say but maybe book a one off clean)

But stuff like doing the kitchen while the kettle boils and wiping down the sinks with a spray and cloth once every few days after using the loo really helps.

Then for the stuff that's too exhausting like the shower, you can rest on the sofa while dh quickly does it (again, tack it on to taking a shower).

Sorry ypu feel so knackered. Fwiw, while my house is normally like a show home and I'm always pinging around the house, I have definitely had points where I'm so exhausted that I literally cannot move when I'm.oit of whack so I sympathise that even a wipe around is literally impossible when you're having a particularly bad day so be really kind to yourself.

My advice is to really be gentle to yourself because it's awful to feel so crap, and that's before you mentally beat yourself up 💕

I'm anaemic as well. Don't take the tablets every day as you don't absorb the iron it just...passes through. Take it 2 or 3x a week max, at night and with a glass of orange juice. No caffeine.

Give yourself a break, clean the bathroom when it needs done, put the dishwasher on daily and put a wash on. If your kids are old enough get them doing stuff. Hoover now and then. Maybe at the weekend.

Anaemia is debilitating and running yourself down trying to maintain (possibly) too high standards will just make you ill.

I’m the same. Full-time work, two kids (4 and 20 months), and a big house and garden. I think I might also have a bit of a problem because I’m quite obsessed with things being organised and tidy.It’s hard – very hard. I rarely get to bed before 11pm because I’m tidying, preparing lunch boxes, cooking, cleaning, etc. So after a full day of work I just keep going (my husband too, with other tasks), and then we’re up again at 6am.
I guess it’s just life. If we want it all, we have to do it all.
In a few months I’m planning to drop a day from work. It will mean less money, but hopefully I’ll be able to catch up on things (or at least have some time for myself) so our weekends can be more fun.

I find setting a timer works. I’ll set a timer for 15 mins and see how much I can get done, quite often it gets me the zone and I’ll do more but if I don’t I’ll just set another timer a bit later. I will caveat that though by saying I have a small house and my DC are teens who keep their own rooms clean and tidy.

You’re not alone I think these feelings are common. You are onto a bit of a loser starting cleaning late and staying up late. I would knock that on the head and work out a realistic plan first off.

What level anemia?

How old are the kids?
Because life becomes much easier when they can pile the dry washing by person, and put theirs away. Ditto for loading/unloading dishwasher, or stripping beds.

We do minimal over the week - clothes washed, kitchen wiped down.
Bathrooms, propper kitchen clean, vacuuming gets done at the weekend.

Look into The Organised Mum Method. Someone recommended it on a different thread a couple of months ago, and it has made such a difference for me. 15 minutes of daily tasks plus 30 minutes in a focus room.

Also, advice I read somewhere else is if you see a job that will take less than a minute, do it straight away. Amazing how much gets done without it feeling like you're doing housework.

Me. I work almost full time, 3 kids at home, 3 dogs. I just cant be bothered really.

Don't underestimate the impact of your anaemia. That level of tiredness is another level. You literally dont have enough oxygen running around you.

Can you stretch to a cleaner for awhile, until youre feeling better?

I struggle too. Full time work, one hour commute each way 3 times a week. Kids at various clubs 4 days a week so minimal time at home. Old falling apart house with too much stuff in it. I know I need to declutter but I don't have time. Am always tired. I tend to do laundry, dishes, recycling and clean kitchen surfaces daily. Plus any life admin, stuff my parents need help with, and homework help. Weekly or when bad, I clean the bathrooms. My DH cooks and hoovers weekly.

But that misses deep cleans, windows, dusting, gardening, repairs, emptying the cupboards of out of date stuff etc etc etc. I feel like just giving up sometimes.

Its definitely easier to keep on top of things rather than do a massive blast at everything.

We make sure the kitchen is completely tidy and wiped down before bed. And that everywhere is kept generally tidy. So if you come in, your shoes, coat and bag go away where they belong. This has the added bonus of everything being where it should be the next time you need it.

We try to put all the clean laundry away as soon as it is ready. So nothing really piles up anywhere.

Then it is a case of cleaning the bathrooms, stripping and remaking the beds, vacuuming, mopping and dusting. Which doesnt take long if you're not tidying up before or as you do those jobs.

That's how we've managed to keep on top of things. And job distribution. It isnt just my responsibility to do all of those things. Everyone has a role to play.

You are definitely not alone. Working full-time, raising kids and running a household is absolutely tiring/exhausting, and you’ve got health issues on top of all that. Some will say “get a cleaner” but if you’re anything like me, there’s absolutely no money for a cleaner.
@likelysuspectgave a great list and advice above.
Stick to basics.
Make a list of the basics.
Write up a schedule or routines, from morning to night.
Set up routines, schedules and systems to help streamline your cleaning.
If meals take too long, research quicker simpler meals.

My older and wiser sister always says little and often. Having small children and working FT was the only time it was a bit difficult. DH and I both had long commutes in the opposite direction to each other as well. He did pull his weight though. How old are the kids and is there a partner about?

I found having as little possessions as possible helpful, including stuff like not having Knick knacks on the mantlepiece. Good storage is always needed A decent shoe rack in the hall and somewhere to hang bags and coats is very important. Always chuck out anything beyond repair.

Also, I do have a cleaner but I find tidying up for her quite stressful. We're struggling with storage at the moment and the whole house needs new units/wardrobes etc so until then there are piles of clothes etc and its stressful trying to fit all of that away just before she comes.

Yanbu. I only work PT but I have a child with SEN who creates chaos so I'm always on catch up.

Very little storage and no, I'm not getting rid of much needed outdoor and running kit to save space.

Just want to add to the expressions of solidarity. I find it really hard (and I only have one kid, and a small house, and no medical reasons for feeling knackered). I have definitely found it helpful to declutter but had to take some time off work to do this in an intensive burst and I realise you might not have the leave to spare for this. It's easier for me as my kid isn't at school yet so I don't have to save all leave for holidays. The odd holiday day dedicated to clearing up and decluttering helps to keep my ship afloat, even though it isn't exactly loads of fun. I also find that whilst I can keep on top of most tasks if I do little chunks daily, all it takes is a few days of me feeling particularly exhausted or demotivated and I end up behind, with loads built up, so I make up for this with a cleaning morning once a week on a weekend. I'd rather do this than run myself ragged every day.

I keep a cleaning sponge tucked in the water pipes under the bathroom sinks and try a quick wipe round as soon as it look dusty and before grimy. A quick wipe of the loo top etc with a wad of loo roll and flush. Also keep an antibacterial spray hidden in bath room for a quick but more sanitising clean.

I’m so happy to see this thread. I find it so hard to stay on top of it all and like I am drowning. I am a single parent and I work full time. My day is like this

Get up and ready
Work
Drop DC to school
Work
Pick DC up
Work
Do dinner/homework/chat with DC
Work
Bed

I have no time to keep on top of the house and when I do have a bit of time, I just want to zone out and switch off. I just about keep on top of washing and the dishwasher.

It’s been like this since Covid and I am completely burnt out.

Am hoping things will change when DC goes to secondary school in 2027. please tell me it does?

Well, I’m older and the DC are at uni. So for the first time in decades I could clean my house more as at long long last I have the time. But I haven’t. In my case I’m not remotely struggling or worrying about it, it’s a choice. I do the minimum to keep things hygienic, apart from the kitchen where I am much more active as I love cooking and keeping the kitchen immaculate seems to come naturally. TBH does a bit of clutter and dust matter much? It doesn’t to me. I far prefer lazing around in my free time than cleaning every day!