…to want my cake tin back?!

[GimmeMyCakeTin]

DH made a cake a while ago that he took to his sister’s, in the baking tin 🙄 he left the tin there. I then went to make a cake a few weeks later and couldn’t find the tin anywhere, which was very irritating as I was mid way through baking. Realised what had happened, and that he’d obviously left it at his sister’s. It’s a 20cm cake tin, but a good quality one.

Anyway, he met up with his sister yesterday and she gave him the tin back - but it’s not my one! It’s a cheap poundland one! Just thin aluminium, not my nice thick one.

Is it ridiculously petty to ask for mine back? It’s the same size, so I can imagine it would look petty. But not all cake tins are created equal! Maybe I am being unreasonably irritated about this. What would you do? Would you accept the tin with a smile? Would you say something? Am I being unreasonable?

Tell her yours was a gift from a good friend so you need it back pronto. I don’t see what the issue is.

I’ve been in this situation (my sister in law is lovely though and just forgot to return my tin). I waited until I was round there, in her kitchen, and then just explained what had happened and asked if I could look for it. It’s easier when you’re right there and avoids mix ups! Good luck with getting it back.

Goodness me, just call or text her and say your DH is on his way to collect the right tin. If he’s not keen, tell him you lent his best drill t9 a neighbour and you’re not sure what will be coming back.

I hope it isn't the case here, but some people are really thick/lazy and wasteful when it comes to tubs and tins that are (you would think) clearly intended to be washed and re-used again and again - and will assume they're meant to be disposable and just chuck them away after using them once.

I'm just wondering, if she doesn't have much idea of baking, whether she thought that baking tins were meant to be single use and she threw it away. Then, when she heard that you actually wanted yours back, she was amazed and thought, "Well they have them in Poundland if she's so tight".

Normally, you definitely want to put a name label on any container that you lend somebody - the washable ones are very durable for plastic tubs etc.; but there isn't really any kind of label that would survive being in the oven.

I have crappy forks etc kept in the back of the drawer especially for this sort of thing - leftover from when I used to have to take a spoon etc to work when I was visiting random sites that had nothing.

Just let it go and buy a new one. Don’t create a battle. It’s pointless.
It’s no biggie, is it.

Why would anybody take a cake somewhere in the tin it was baked in? i make my cakes, out of the oven, leave then in the tin for a couple of minutes before removing the tin and leaving them on a cooling tray. Then when they are cold they can be iced if needed, before being served later in the day.

is it the tin you bake it in or a tin you carry it in?

does it have a distinctive design.

id want it back if it was a tin I liked, but honestly im rubbish at asking for anythign or valuing myself so I probably woulnt say anything.

but I think that you should.

I thought this was going to be about a cake tin with a lid used to carry cakes. I've lost a few nice pretty ones over the years, and some were expensive. Now I wrap them in foil instead. I would be asking for yours back OP. I have heavy professional tins, cheap ones don't work as well ime.

I absolutely agree you need that tin back. No matter how. But at this stage, go for the suggestions on the mistaken basis.

if that fails, take it.

this is my baby lasagne size aga proof dish war advice twenty years on. It’s now a game. That I’ve given up on and she won’t admit to. I used it to cook meals for my nieces and nephews, for years. My sil them claimed it, as fabulous. It is. Nothing compares.

I’ve taken it back, her children are now adults. She visits, for an cuppa, and takes it. She does not care for my children. I take it back. It is currently awol.

dont let the tin become the dish

Why on earth should she have to? It doesn't need a battle at all; but if there is any battle, it was clearly started by somebody who not only enjoyed a cake that had been baked and brought for her but also felt entitled to keep the tin as well.

This

Who said anything about a battle? You don't give good stuff away, you ask for it back!

What did you decide to do?

Noooo... she may well say "you were kind to lend the cake tin so I want you to have the newer one!"

I'd much rather have a tired old stately home from centuries ago than a Barratt home built yesterday

AWOL at your SIL’s house?

She sounds a devious woman. Imagine going for a cup of tea and abusing someone’s hospitality by stealing a dish from
their kitchen. Naughty.

Maybe I'm just in a bad mood because I slept so poorly last night, but I wouldn't even care if it looked petty. You want your cake tin back, not some random, inferior tin. This should be your husband's problem to sort, because he's the one who caused it. I'd keep pestering him until he did something about it.

If you really can’t being yourself to just fire off a simple message yourself, delegate it to your DH. He’s the one who brought it back so it would make sense if he texted his sister, ‘Madeira reckons there was a mix up with the cake tins-whoops-so swap them back over next time I see you sis?’

I feel your pain. I get like this with books. I like a book I’ve read to LOOK like it’s been read, so I get paperbacks (and, heaven forefend, I crack the spines!). I lent a book to a mate of dh’s, and after a year or so, asked for it back as I wanted to check something in it, and anyway, I wanted it back. The guy ummed and aahed a bit, and eventually it turned out he’d handed it on to SOMEONE ELSE!!!!!! So I asked h8m, far more nicely than he deserved, to get it back to me. He didn’t. I knew the person he’d handed it onto, and was actually round her house one day and asked directly for it. She seemed to think I was very odd, but after a while dug it out and gave to me. Now, I crack spines, yes, but I don’t fold them right over so the covered meet each other, not do I turn down corners, nor do I twist books so that when you do close them the corners don’t align. Somehow, all of that and more had happened to my poor book.

I don’t care which one of them had done it. I wanted another copy that wasn’t so damaged and wasn’t such a bloody mess. I wanted another copy copy I could close and put on my shelf. Ideally I can look at my shelves and say “ooh, I don’t think I’ve read that one” or “ that’s one I really really love” etc at a glance.

We have many bookshelves in all rooms of the house, (OK, there’s a loo which doesn’t have many shelves) so generally it’s helpful to be able to zero in on a book I know I’ve read many times or only once or twice.

So, yeah. Send her a message, at least saying it’s part of a set….

Yeah it's not petty to say sorry it's not mine. If it had any branding on you could tell them that or just say you'll grab it next time you're round. Which might have to be fairly soon for no other meaningful reason.

I'd say send H to collect it but I wouldn't trust he'd bring right one back either! I'd hope it was an innocent mistake as a cake shouldn't even be delivered to someone in that type of tin?

OP, I have learned through bitter experience never to take anything that you would mind not having returned - plates, bowls, tea-towels, but most particularly cookware. I once made three quiches for a friend’s christening, and took them round warm on the metal bases, and told her that they were on the metal base because they were still hot and would she mind returning them….they got thrown away. “OH”, She said, “But that means your quiche tins are completely useless….I’ll buy you ONE new one.” She didn’t even do that. It’s not the expense, it’s just SOOOOOO irritating.

I'd want mine back too.

I'd go down the line of 'I know they all look similar, but mine is a part of a set, gift/sentimental & need it back. If you're having trouble identifying mine I'm happy to help. I'll pop in after work/next weekend/sgstevef tk bring yours back & collect mine.

Then DH is treat like a small child. 'No toys are taken to SIL's house. Ever '

are you a bloke?