…to want my cake tin back?!

[GimmeMyCakeTin]

DH made a cake a while ago that he took to his sister’s, in the baking tin 🙄 he left the tin there. I then went to make a cake a few weeks later and couldn’t find the tin anywhere, which was very irritating as I was mid way through baking. Realised what had happened, and that he’d obviously left it at his sister’s. It’s a 20cm cake tin, but a good quality one.

Anyway, he met up with his sister yesterday and she gave him the tin back - but it’s not my one! It’s a cheap poundland one! Just thin aluminium, not my nice thick one.

Is it ridiculously petty to ask for mine back? It’s the same size, so I can imagine it would look petty. But not all cake tins are created equal! Maybe I am being unreasonably irritated about this. What would you do? Would you accept the tin with a smile? Would you say something? Am I being unreasonable?

Yeah, this sounds like a measured response. It was more my DH saying she had lots of tins that size, so it’s kind of hard to explain to him why it feels wrong. And it is quite hard to describe a cake tin! If I say ‘much thicker metal’ maybe that’s the best I can do? I got it ages ago, so not something I can link to.

Lie and tell her it was a gift from someone if that makes it easier.

OP you are overthinking ! “Hi SIL, just checked the cake tin DH picked up for yours but it’s the wrong one, you must have given me one of yours by mistake! I need to go to xxx tomorrow so can pop in on my way for a quick tin swap if that’s ok. Let me know when you’re around.”

(have assumed his sister lives relatively close so it’s somewhere you could reasonably be going past/near when on way to somewhere else)

Just be factual - same size, black but the metal is thicker which I prefer

HATE it when people keep things like this. also, she clearly knows what she’s doing

Also OP if she’s a baker, she would want her own tin back. I would offer to go to her if you can rather than ask her to drop to you, that way you can offer to have a look at her tins and pick out yours. (And the white lie that it was a gift would work)

Yes! I’ve had similar before with cutlery - bringing extra cutlery for a party, and then being given crappy cutlery back. Not all forks and spoons or metalware are the same! 😩

I cant believe you're even asking this question, whats wrong with you

OF COURSE you want your own tin back, I pay a fortune for my myriad of tins and they're MINE!

She wouldn’t want this tin back! It’s not a good one. Yes, going through her stuff would be the best way to identify it. But she is very inhospitable and doesn’t like having people over (that’s a whole other story, though).

To avoid a scene, you could hire a skilled private agent like Simon Templar to sneak into her house, find your cake tin and replace it with hers, then sneak out again.

If he's in a good mood he might do it for a case or two of fine Cognac.

Also, I don’t believe she does do a lot of baking. I’ve never had anything she’s baked! So maybe she genuinely can’t tell the tins apart, which is why trying to describe it to a non-baker is difficult. Sigh.

You’re massively overreacting. It’s not your tin- just tell her. If yours was a certain brand or had a particular mark, tell her so she can look for it

I think this might be the route I have to go down. I may have to have a Cognac myself now out of compassion for my poor nerves.

I loaned a good friend a flan dish. It came back with a cut mark on the base. I never felt the same towards her again.

Well the fact that she sent back the Poundland one shows she can distinguish one from the other!

It’s akin to her leaving a cashmere cardigan from M&S round yours when she comes to visit, and you returning a cheap acrylic cardigan in the same size from Shein to her when she asks for it back.

Why on earth are you gifting suchba person a home made cake?!

I know, it was left there. But SIL either bakes herself because has enough cake tins to confuse it with or she has deliberately tried to steal it/has broken it and is deliverately sending a cheap one back.

This is why I never delegate jobs. You’re going to have to go round to get your back.

If a cake tin of mine leaves the house I put a very big label on it with my name in capitals!

Just turn up on the doorstep woth the shit tin and say DH brought it back bit he's obviously confused so youve dropped by to swap it back because it's obviously not yours. Men, eh! Can't tell the difference!

I love that DH (who lived with the special cake tin) didn't notice it was wrong and nobody thinks that's unlikely. But the SIL is assumed by everyone to be a thieving sneaky bitch who is deliberately trying to keep a better cake tin. The poor woman doesn't bake, she probably has no clue!

Just ask for it back jesus fucking Christ this place is ridiculous.

Ooh I would have been seriously annoyed by this too!

^ This!

If she replies saying it was the right one, just say "I'm afraid it wasn't. DH wouldn't know the difference (duh!), but I spent a lot of time finding "the right one" so would rather have my original one back thanks!!".

Just keep it light hearted.

Then better - say you are passing and you’ll drop her tin and collect yours- and say in your message you are happy to go through her pile of tins to pick out yours if she’s not sure which it is. If she hates having people over I’m sure she’s more likely to have it ready at the door.