…to want my cake tin back?!

[GimmeMyCakeTin]

DH made a cake a while ago that he took to his sister’s, in the baking tin 🙄 he left the tin there. I then went to make a cake a few weeks later and couldn’t find the tin anywhere, which was very irritating as I was mid way through baking. Realised what had happened, and that he’d obviously left it at his sister’s. It’s a 20cm cake tin, but a good quality one.

Anyway, he met up with his sister yesterday and she gave him the tin back - but it’s not my one! It’s a cheap poundland one! Just thin aluminium, not my nice thick one.

Is it ridiculously petty to ask for mine back? It’s the same size, so I can imagine it would look petty. But not all cake tins are created equal! Maybe I am being unreasonably irritated about this. What would you do? Would you accept the tin with a smile? Would you say something? Am I being unreasonable?

If it’s going to be hard work getting it back I’d just buy yourself a new quality one on your husband’s credit card. And tell him to not ever take it out of his house again.

(and surely she knows which tin was yours, she’d have washed it. There wouldn’t have been any need to put it with all her tins..)

If she can be a bit difficult I can see why you'd hesitate to send a quick message of the sort people are suggesting. It's simple when your relatives are easy-going and pleasant, you don't struggle to find the right approach as you can just ask without over-thinking it. But tricksy people need more subtle handling don't they...

Bright and breezy while hinting that DH has been the klutz in the situation, to try to avoid her taking the inference that you think she pinched your quality one? (I'd be maddened if I loaned someone my Felco secateurs and they returned a pair of ordinary made-in-China-not-Switzerland ones, so I totally get the stress of it!)

Why didn't you just say it wasn't your tin?

Just message her and say 'Sorry, just realised this isn't my tin. Can you find mine out please and I'll pop round and swap it'.

Far too sensible @JustSawJohnny

Won't someone think of the drama!

Thank you very much! It is exactly this.

What a fuss. Just say that it isn't your tin and you'll come and grab your one later/tomorrow!

If they live close enough just pop round with the cheapo one and say “this one isn’t mine - shall I come in and find mine cos I know you’ve got a few.”

Oh my god, get it back.
I have good baking tins as well and I won't lend them. My neighbour texted me asking to borrow a few and I ignored the text until the next day saying sorry I missed it and hope it was sorted. 🫣

There speaks a man whose mix has never graced the inside of a baking tin.

Yes! I would do this 💯.

Just explain it's not yours and ask for your own back. It could well be that she doesn't even realise it's the wrong one. (I've had cheap tins and now have a thick, more expensive one and it makes a huge difference!)

Maybe explain to your DH with a comparison he would understand e.g. if he is into DIY this is the same as you lending your brother your DH's Makita drill and your brother returning one from the Aldi special buy aisle

Just get your stupid arse husband buy you a brand new one, the same brand or even better. Sorted.

Hi Barbara. Bob brought back a cake tin from you yesterday. Unfortunately, that is not my cake tin. My cake tin is an [insert here] brand, a thick grey tin with [whatever extras the tin has.] I'd appreciate it if you would look through your cabinets to find my tin and return it to me. It was a good quality tin that I use often and I need it back. Thanks.

'The cake tin you sent back with Bob is much newer than mine, can I have my one back please?'

This is a very good point.

i mean, where would we be if everyone stopped parking like arseholes?

We need the draaaamz!

Who said anything about borrowing???

Just tell her she’s given you the wrong one!

Nothing wrong with doing that at all.

Don't be daft! You've been given the wrong thing, accident or not, so of course it's reasonable to ask for the correct one! Ask!

Ooh I like this! Saying ‘newer’ sidesteps very neatly.

I’ve got a favourite tin I bake my Christmas cakes in - it’s very sturdy and cost ££ precisely because it needs to stand up to hours in the oven and transmit heat properly. A cheap £2.50 Poundland lookalike that might be the same size would be glaringly obvious to me.

I wouldn’t hesitate to point out it’s the wrong tin; I’d do it breezily but firmly and maybe make the point that it’s my essential tin for making my special /favourite recipe (or something along those lines) ‘they must have got mixed up somehow, so here’s yours back - if you’d just look mine out while I wait until you’ve done it thanks….’ <light but no-nonsense laugh>

Nobody takes my cake-tins!

I think this is a bad idea. Newer could be seen to be better, so it leaves her open to saying “oh don’t worry”.

Much better to say “Hi X, thanks for giving DH the cake tin. Unfortunately it’s not my one! I’ve had mine years, and I love it, so will need to get it back from you. Please let me know when is convenient”

If she comes back with some tosh about you keeping the newer tin, spinning it as a positive, just feed her some crap about how you've spent years 'baking in the tin' and now it's your favourite, even though it's old, and state that you'd be really sad to lose it. Throw DH under the bus and say he really should have known not to leave the cake in your fave tin!

You need to be ready for further cheeky fuckery because it's highly likely she's opted to keep the better tin!

Just tell her DH has picked up the wrong tin, and your's is part of a set which you inherited from an old aunt, so whereas you would normally have said nothing, your original tin needs to come home.

I would be gutted.
My bakeware is almost personal. Some of my tins I baked my wedding/christening cakes in. Also I hve baked many Mother’s Day cakes and children’s birthday cakes. I’ve got most sizes and I am a firm believer in you only get what you pay for so all of mine are really good quality.
I would have to say something. I like the popping round with it and saying ‘you sent the wrong one back - would you like me to help you find mine’.

But I would be gettimg it back and it wouldn’t leave my house without me again!!