To leave my house to my children and not my husband

[Moiraroseee]

I have two children and my main priority is ensuring they are always well taken care of. I am married to a lovely man who is not their father but has been in our lives for many years (firstly as a family friend prior to our relationship). For various reasons, when we bought our family home, it was practical for me to be the only person named on the mortgage and I supplied the entire deposit. The question I have is, if I die am I able to leave the house entirely to my children? He is not named on the property (although circumstances have now changed and he could be added now) - but since we are married is the property automatically 50% his and therefore would I be unable to leave it all to my kids?

You really need to speak to a financial advisor first. If you want to leave a property to your children, bypassing your husband, there are different structures that might allow for that. An FMC for example.

Your standard solicitor who deals with writing wills might not be fully up-to-date on the financial options out there. Do you speak to a qualified (ideally recommended) financial advisor.

But why are you freezing out your husband? Seems odd.

OP, I understand where you’re coming from wrt wanting to secure your children’s financial future. I’ve been with my DH for 38 years (married for 20), one shared DD aged 17, and we redid our wills recently - I was surprised at how emotional I found it, thinking about best to ensure our DD would be set up for life. I got myself in a tangle worrying about what would happen if I died first and he got everything, then remarried and died and his new wife took the lot and DD was left with nothing. My poor DH was bemused at how cross I was with him for this entirely hypothetical situation! I hope you manage to work things out.

If he's paid half the mortgage he should be given the opportunity of some of the equity in the family house minus the deposit (plus inflation) if he wants it. You need to speak to him and see what he is happy with. If you are asking on the internet what you can do legally and stop him contesting, is is because you think he is going to be unhappy that he is going to be evicted from a house you have been paying for together other than the deposit? Do you feel he should get any return on the contribution he has paid? I think you need to talk to your husband about what he feels is fair then take it from there - that is the best way to avoid a contested will.

Edit: I've just seen that he is in agreement - so the will should be fine as you trust him and he won't contest it but if you are not sure you are best going to a professional and getting them to check rather than the non-experts like me on the internet.

He says that now …

Did you make the will prior to the marriage or after? If it was made before the marriage it will no longer be valid so you will need to make a new one

OP, if you are both so fantastically rich with marvellous incomes, life insurance policies and death in service benefits , why are you worried about this? no-one is going to be left on the streets are they?

You seem clued up and savvy, so why come on mumsnet for advice?

Is this another weird boast thread?

with her agreement being the important part here, I didn’t say it isn’t possible but it can’t be done unilaterally, your father’s wife may well have her own means to rehouse, but legally the house is not just the OPs despite who is named on the deeds was my point.

That attached to wrong quote but I’m sure you follow

Have but read the whole thread, but wanted to say as others well worth talking to a lawyer to ensure you’re set up as you wish to be without relying on your husband’s kindness / obligation to your kids after your death. My friend’s step-dad, who had raised her and her sister from a young age, feel to pieces after the death of their mum and got very quickly into a new relationship. The girls had no claim to their childhood house and the new partner quickly moved them out, one into very hard financial circumstances. Everyone stunned and a very sad situation. So do get it iron-clad in your own will what you want to happen for your kids.

So he didn't pay for the deposit but has been paying half of bills (or part?) since living there so that means unless it's demarcated in some written document that he's also paying towards mortgage payments indirectly. He has a claim on the property because you're married but even more so because he's contributed financially. It would have made more sense for him to have his own property and rent it out or not get married but you say he's happy with all this so just get solicitor's advice and the appropriate will/trust set up. Bear in mind that all this can change in the future.

Financial advisers are not necessarily the first source for these situations, a fully qualified estate planning practictioner who deals with these issues, or a solicitor who specialises in estste planning, as many do not. Likewise, if I encounter financial issues with my clients, they are always referred to an IFA.

Well if dh knows this then shouldn’t be an issue but need to have written in will and a side note saying why house going to kids esp if he has paid to the mortgage

So where is he going to live when you die?

Most people would leave the house to their kids but let their husband live in it until they die.

You can write a will to do this easily.

If he has helped pay mortgage he has a claim proportionate to that

But the whole point is that the OP wants the house money to go to her children so they can be financially looked after while in their father’s care after her death. If her husband stays in it until he dies, the money is still locked into the house.

If you go to a reputable
solicitor they will do the estate planning with you - your will can be written to last a lifetime of eventualities - I’d do this - it’s what I did - my husband has died and I don’t need to update my Will because it was written with longevity in mind

If I had the slightest idea dh was going to this I would think about divorcing him.
Thankfully we aren't in this situation, but I think he should be given a time limit to stay after your death at least if not a life long concern.

I wondered this, 'legal advice' from randoms who will tell you what they think is correct but is probably totally wrong.🤔

Do seek legal advice, but I don't think it is that complicated. If you are the only named owner of the house then you can leave it to whomever you want, including your kids. Your DH could challenge the will but is unlikely to be successful if you paid the entire deposit and the mortgage was in your name.

As others have said, should you divorce then he would have a claim over your assets and could end up with half the house.

So if it ever looks like a divorce is on the cards, I would be very careful standing by the side of any cliffs or railway tracks with any of your kids. 😂

Financial advisers are not necessarily the first source for these situations, a fully qualified Estate planning practitioner who deals with these issues, or a solicitor who specialises in Estate Planning, as many do not. Likewise, if I encounter financial issues with my clients, they are always referred to an IFA.

@Moiraroseee I had left the thread as couldn’t see what you wanted.

now I see what is happening. My Q is, if you say you could cover the mortgage payments yourself, why on earth are you allowing to pay towards the mortgage ( it’s is paid from joint account) abd not merely draw up a rental agreement and charge him rent ( from joint account) which you put in a separate account and it is therefore your money and your property remains yours without his money being attached to it?

I appreciate you said you are not an estate planner but I fail to understand this of a higher earner married to another high earner and the owner of property wanting it to be their and their alone both on property deed and in reality.

i guess that’s why you are now on MN needing to untangle yourself.

you never mentioned of he owns a property elsewhere. At the very least, ensure he has his own house by buying another property ( just know being a landlord is not easy, unless you can afford to leave it empty),

it is why women wanting to safeguard their properties are given specific advice ( did you seek it) before they bring a man in their house, no matter how high earning both parties are as you are neatly proving here. That practical advice applies to all women dead set on their asset remaining theirs.

so where was this advice or this search for advice before you moved him into your home?

The only situation that gives more certainty is a contract. Wills, property deeds all can be challenged by anyone with an interest- as you said, he can very well outlive you for 30 years and his circumstances might change ( fallen on hard time).

your kids also sound very young. What are their ages? Does he have kids?

So if the worst happened. The house gets sold and kids go and live with ex the dad who will have the money from
house , in trust , to pay for things kids need

is that right @Moiraroseee

meanwhile your dh can live in the house till gets sold , plus he will be looking for his own house

Are you including mortgage payments, council tax, insurance, house maintenance in the “contribution to bills”. If so he has made quite a considerable monetary investment in the property and its current value. If you removed your deposit from the current value I think there is a strong argument for him to have a claim on 50% of the value.

Does he have children from a previous relationship? That might make a difference to how he views the ownership of the property. You do need to talk both to a solicitor and to your husband about what happens to the property.

She has already said a couple of times that she’s spoken to her husband and he’s happy for the property to go to her children.

And he will have a right to a percentage of the equity in the house because he's been paying the mortgage with OP for years.

She cannot expect him to walk away with nothing other than his '6 figure income'.

This thread is bonkers.