To leave my house to my children and not my husband

[Moiraroseee]

I have two children and my main priority is ensuring they are always well taken care of. I am married to a lovely man who is not their father but has been in our lives for many years (firstly as a family friend prior to our relationship). For various reasons, when we bought our family home, it was practical for me to be the only person named on the mortgage and I supplied the entire deposit. The question I have is, if I die am I able to leave the house entirely to my children? He is not named on the property (although circumstances have now changed and he could be added now) - but since we are married is the property automatically 50% his and therefore would I be unable to leave it all to my kids?

Christ 😮

This is what I do for work OP, and not leaving him at least the right to stay for a period of time, is very wrong. What happens if he’s very elderly and you die first?

Do you not like your husband?

I’m not sure I have said that. Obviously there would be some time involved.

How immature.

It is funny though. A very dramatic and ridiculous response.

If you’d read the OP’s posts (there is an option just to read all the OP’s posts if you don’t want to read the whole thread) she has said numerous times that this would only apply if she dies before the children are 18, and she will change her will once they are adults.

Not sure if its been stated multiple times but marriage automatically invalidates any previous wills ..so if this is the case ..you need a new will nd to discuss your wishes with a solicitor and your DH

I think the negative responses you have gotten are in part due to drip feeding important details such as your children are still kids and the details about their das. (I am sure lesson learned on that one! 😅) And them also I'm part cos you stated your husband is paying half the mortgage on a house you own solo and don't intend to leave any share of to him, even though you aren't hurting for money. You mentioned you paid the deposit but not what percentage of the house it was or how old you are etc (if it was 10 percent and he has paid the mortgage 40years for example, that sounds pretty shitty, if it was 50% and being paying mortgage for 2yrs...not so much)

I might be worth suggesting he only pays half the bills not including mortgage and invests elsewhere in case of worse case scenario, In the name of "fairness". I know people will say, if he was renting he would also paying rent, but with a 6figure salary it's unlikely he would be renting rather than paying down a mortgage on a property he owned. But at the same time, if he knows you intended to leave it solely to your kids and is still happy to pay, then that's no one elses business.

You have probably had enough advice on the actual point of the post and said you will see a lawyer,so not much point commenting on that.

This is a tricky one and I think you need to seek legal advice. The longer your DH and you live in this house together, paying the mortgage and the upkeep, the more claim he will have over the house if you die before him. No-one has a crystal ball and when you are dead you have no idea what your financial situation might be and whether your DH might suddenly think he is entitled to some share of the house - even it its just half of the current value, minus the deposit. The only way around this all might be to have the house put in a trust for your sons - there would be financial implications on doing this as you would have tax to pay up front but it would ensure that the property stays with your children. The only downside to this is that you are effectively giving it away and there is a chance that you might live to a ripe old age, fall out with your kids and get booted out of your own home when they control of the estate!!!! If you have a good life insurance policy then perhaps it might be better to rely on this for the care of your children and not worry about the house - not sure where you are in the country or how much it is worth, but in order to get this set in stone it might cause more trouble than its worth.

If he's paying half the mortgage then he is likely the beneficial owner of a share in the house. However, if he's supportive of you leaving it to your children then it's unlikely he would pursue this. OTOH if he had a change of heart and decided that he would pursue it, it sounds as if there would be enough cash knocking about to buy him out.

I think you are leaving a mess for him and the kids to sort out. Speak to him, maybe leave him 50% of the house less the deposit and the rest to the kids - but consult a lawyer to set up correctly.

Yes I 100% want to avoid this!

Good luck OP. Unlike a lot of posters, I have read the full thread and understand exactly where you're coming from. Hope when you see the solicitor you can work out a straightforward plan to make sure your kids are protected financially.

My MIL has something written into her will that puts the house into a trust when she dies. Her partner is allowed to live there until his death but after that it is for her children. If he chooses to remarry his new wife cannot get the house and he can’t leave the house to anyone else in his will. I think it cost her about £5k to set this up, but the house is around £500k at present so worth it.

The house belongs to both of you if you are married. Who is on the deeds doesn’t matter. You can leave your half to someone but I don’t believe they get it until he dies or sells up

This isn’t true. My dad is married but his house is left to me (with her agreement). All drawn up with a lawyer. She will have 2 years after he dies to stay in the house.

Did you not consult a solicitor when you made your will?

Hello. What you indicate is possible to achieve, but requires further in depth discussion, which should not be discussed on an open forum like this. There are IHT implications for you, with what you indicate so far. I am a fully qualified Chartered Legal Practioner, fully insured, in estate planning. I can assist you in this but it is important to have an initial discussion to enable me to advise you correctly, without obligation or costs. I am available outside normal office hours and weekends. Please feel free to contact me

My situation is the same. I would never want my husband to be homeless so my will states if I die first he can stay in the house but it is to be split between my children and he wont benefit from it financially. But I have left him money, life cover benefits etc. So his life would be the same, just id be missing from it

Why is that funny? It’s exactly what you’re doing. Hope he divorces you and takes you to the cleaners!

I wonder how he would support himself if you die in your 80s? He won't be earning 6 figures then, so will you be okay with him building up his assets now so he can be a cash buyer if you die first?

I assume you are meaning if you die prematurely, before the expected lifespan of 85-ish for a woman, he will be able to get a mortgage and buy his own house?

If your children are still young at the time, under 18, who will look after them?
Will he sell the family home, buy his own and your children live exactly where?

Do you have a Will listing guardians?

Then what happens?
This only works if the surviving spouse has assets so they be a cash buyer or they are young enough to get a mortgage and buy a house.

Since he's been paying towards the mortgage then yes I think you would be very unreasonable to leave the house solely to your children and he has a very strong case to contest any will since he's also been paying the mortgage !

If this we’re a man doing this to a woman it would surely be called some kind of financial abuse jesus!

Can I correct @Moiraroseee on one thing.

You said you bought the house before you met him.

What you mean is you bought a house with a mortgage - not buying it outright.

You cannot expect him to have paid towards the mortgage and get no recompense if it's sold at some point in the future.

That's cloud cuckoo land you're living in.

You do sound quite naive about all of this.

If you die when you children are under 18 what provision will there be for their care?

Do they want to live with your ex- their bio father?