To leave my house to my children and not my husband

[Moiraroseee]

I have two children and my main priority is ensuring they are always well taken care of. I am married to a lovely man who is not their father but has been in our lives for many years (firstly as a family friend prior to our relationship). For various reasons, when we bought our family home, it was practical for me to be the only person named on the mortgage and I supplied the entire deposit. The question I have is, if I die am I able to leave the house entirely to my children? He is not named on the property (although circumstances have now changed and he could be added now) - but since we are married is the property automatically 50% his and therefore would I be unable to leave it all to my kids?

Why do single parents with property marry someone?! It's such a risk.

Tbf she wasn't with property, she was with deposit.

How much the deposit you paid that it’s such a big deal? 80% of the property? Cause anything less yes you are unreasonable!

Would it not make sense for him to invest in a property of his own, using the money he currently pays towards the mortgage instead? This would give him a lot more security.

You need a solicitor.
He could have claim to the house even when not on the deeds, but you can at least (and should) make sure that your half goes to your children and not him.

He isn’t worried about it. Probably because money isn’t an issue and he’s confident that he can house himself should the need arise. He could comfortably buy his own property now or indeed we may buy one together with my
deposit ring fenced in which case the whole thing is mute.

Wanting to ensure my kids are provided for is disgraceful…ok…..

In correct, I purchased the property before we were married and I do understand that this is what’s created this predicament.

I am more than comfortable with the decision I have made on who will look after my children - this wasn’t the purpose of the thread. Some decent points have been made on the thread on what provision and alternatives may work best - hence the point of asking before seeking legal advice.

Bizarre post. Your husband owns 50% as he has contributed to the mortgage. Very odd you would want their home to be sold after you died. Do they not live with you? Is it not their childhood home? Would the kids just go to their dads? How would he grieve? Kids need consistency. If you trust your husband and he supports you, then managing it with him makes the most sense. Can’t understand why he wouldn’t continue to look out for your kids under those (legal) wishes.

Surely in the event of the death of the mother, generally the assumption would be that, if he is a loving and responsible father and is in their lives, the children would go and live with their father rather than stay with their step father? I’d assume that would usually be a child’s preference, and most fathers would want to have their child reside with them full time if their mother died too.

I see from your update that you are planning to consult a solicitor which, yes, you really need to do (one that specialises in estate planning). Regardless of what your husband says he will do, if you were to drop dead tomorrow and you had a simple will that just left your house to your children, your husband could contest the will. He may or may not be successful, but it will add stress and uncertainty (and costs!) to what will be a horrible time for your kids.

So, speak to someone qualified, and also talk to them about managing IHT, particularly as you said you were a high earner.

This, with bells on!

But it would revert to the children anyway if the OP's husband had the house if she dies first, and then he died!

@exprecis · Today 07:35

So effectively you are taking money from him to pay for an asset that you plan to give to your children, potentially leaving him homeless. Lovely!
Setting aside the legalities, you at least owe him full information about this.

This. ^ @Moiraroseee I think what you are doing is quite cold-hearted and unkind. Your poor husband. And you laughed at this response?! Imagine if this was a man doing this to a woman? This thread would be on fire! You are being hugely unreasonable. He is paying towards the mortgage by paying for household bills and the like! He needs to get advice from a solicitor and get his name on the deeds.

As I have said multiple times, he is aware and fine with it. And I am not ‘taking’ money from him, he is happily and willingly contributing to a house that he lives in. Would you rather he was a cocklodger?

If you really want to make this water tight you could always consider putting the house into trust now with the children as trustees so it would avoid probate and IHT, it might also protect you from having to pay care costs in the future etc as well but has some disadvantages in terms of the trust then owns the house and there would be CGT and stuff to consider - it’s definitely an option to get some advice about though.

If you do this, discuss it with him first and perhaps make some provision for him, but I've heard of a partner remarrying, being outlived by the new partner and them giving it all to their kids, so definitely protect your kids.

Then there's no issue is there?

There is!! Read the thread, plenty of examples of it going wrong if someone remarries!

Exactly!! And reading some of these responses, no wonder it happens so often!

You are absolutely right to do this.
I had a relative that re married, no will.
She and her new husband were in an accident, she died instantly, which meant her home was passed to her husband.
He died as a result of his injuries a few weeks later.
The house was then passed to her new husbands family.
Her children got nothing.

In theory yes, you both need legal advice and your will needs to state that you disinherit him.

Does he pay towards the mortgage and could he prove it? If so it becomes more complicated.

That’s so awful!

I love and trust my husband but if I died tomorrow and he remarried, he could be married for 30 years and would feel his second wife should inherit which I’d completely understand.

I think he would have a very good claim on the house as it is his home. At least to remain in it. Be difficult to evict him imho. Best solution is to allow him to remain in the house for his lifetime. Thats more usual under your circumstances

Only if it was made AFTER you got married or included a contemplation of marriage clause.

You should leave a life interest to your husband. There’s nothing wrong with not leaving the house to him, but don’t make the poor guy homeless. No decent solicitor would advise a will written that way.