To leave my house to my children and not my husband

[Moiraroseee]

I have two children and my main priority is ensuring they are always well taken care of. I am married to a lovely man who is not their father but has been in our lives for many years (firstly as a family friend prior to our relationship). For various reasons, when we bought our family home, it was practical for me to be the only person named on the mortgage and I supplied the entire deposit. The question I have is, if I die am I able to leave the house entirely to my children? He is not named on the property (although circumstances have now changed and he could be added now) - but since we are married is the property automatically 50% his and therefore would I be unable to leave it all to my kids?

We are no where near retirement age. Mid thirties.

Exactly! I’m honestly surprised this is controversial.

Ahh so if she lives until say 85 and husband is still living she'd leave the house for the husband?

Honestly!! Plus people worrying he’s going to be left nothing which again I have clarified multiple times. I have been called cold, a ‘nasty person’ and that I can’t possibly love my husband because I want to ensure my children are provided for over and above anyone - it’s honestly wild. I love my children more than anything - they are my responsibility and I want to ensure I do as much as I can to protect them in the event of my death.

Until his death - yes! This scenario is unlikely anyway because we will probably buy somewhere together in the end with my deposit ring fenced - however this is in the event that I die before they are grown up and established.

I feel terrible for this guy. Why did you ever bother getting married?

Ah that makes a lot more sense now!

Maybe read the thread!

Apologies, I totally missed that. It does change things.

You have a long time to build assets together but I would still want to make sure my kids were protected over before any adult. There’s no saying what situation their Dad or your husband would end up in over time. You are the only person who can guarantee that your assets aren’t taken away them in later life.

You need to complete a will and see about a trust. I have this for my child, my grand mothers second husband presented all sweetness and light, made promises and is now suing my father for the entire property as he is no longer satisfied with what was discussed xx

Sounds a similar situation and some points worth considering. Thanks.

My feelings exactly!! Totally shocked by some of the responses who feel I should be prioritising differently.

In a similar position - DH is not the father of my adult daughter. He’s a high earner. The way I’ve structured it is that he gets the house, daughter gets my death in service / life insurance, which he doesn’t financially need. He’ll be set with the house and his salary. Leaving my daughter a share of the house is guaranteed to get messy if he remarried, this way I can guarantee I’m leaving her something without worrying about that.

I've known two people to find themselves out on their arse in the months/year after the death of a spouse because of this exact set up. For me the last thing I'd want is my partner (or kids or anyone I love) worrying about packing up and moving in the years when grief would be raw.

I would've thought it would make sense to have your kids as the beneficiaries of a decent life insurance policy, so a lump sum of cash put safely aside for them (because if he's got a great income then a big cash inheritance doesn't sounds that essential), and the house to your husband. Presumably when he dies he'll leave it to the kids anyway?

Yeah you can definitely just dibs 100% of a property that your spouse has paid 50% of with the exception of the deposit.

This isn’t something I’ve considered but might be cleaner overall.

How is anything the poster you quoted said inaccurate?

You need a will - and I do think you are being unfair to your husband. You also need to think hard about who the children would want to be with if you died before they are adults. Would they want to live with their father? Where does he live? Would your children be better off staying in their home with their stepfather if he's been in their lives a long time? How often do they see their father and what if he remarries?

If you want to leave the house entirely to your children he shouldnt be contributing to the mortgage. If he's paying half the mortgage he should be left a share of the house, after preserving your deposit for your children. Anything else is morally wrong, cruel and sets a bad example to your children. Doesnt matter how much money he has, it's still wrong.

Anything could happen to either or you - you could have an accident where you are incapable of remaking your will and he could be looking after you for years and then your kids evict him. Make provision in your will for him to stay in the house at least 12 months, otherwise your executor could evict him before then. Make provision now for a change when your kids become adults.

All this money and the Internet for legal advice!🙄

I would speak to a solicitor now and explore transferring it into a trust now of which you have the lifetime interest and they are the beneficiaries - ie it is already their home, this puts it outside the marital pot. However, if you love your husband, you may want to explore making sure he gets anything else and that he has some sort of occupancy rights when you die, otherwise he could effectively be homeless if your DCs decided to sell up. You need to discuss all the options with a legal expert.

Presumably the DH will want to leave his share of the home to his own relatives if he has siblings or nieces/nephews so he is hopefully also taking legal advice

Never, ever presume or assume that anyone will do the right thing or leave anything in their will. If OP wants her kids to inherit the house, then it needs to be left in trust to them, with her husband having a life interest.

That said, since he's contributed to the mortgage, the fairest thing would be to leave him 50%, with the minor children's half tied up in trust with external trustees.

I think your husband needs to protect his interests from you! Disgraceful behaviour no matter what his financial situation is.

And I’m pretty sure someone who’s such a high earner would be a bit more savvy that to pay into the mortgage of a house that he has agreed he’s never going to get a penny from 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

He can’t be that stupid surely!