If you got told you could be heard doing it you’d stop - right??

[Laskey]

We were away with my cousin, her husband and her young kids. Two weeks in Florida. One week in a hotel, one week in a holiday home.

When we got to the air BnB it was very much needed after being crammed in a hotel room. It became very apparent however that the walls were paper thin. We heard everything from the open plan kitchen and diner.

The first time it happened dh and I jokingly said sounds like you had a good night. Just to acknowledge we could hear and give the hint to adjust behaviour. They were mortified. But did they stop? No. It was absolutely ridiculous. It’s not like we could hear screaming just the thud sound as the house was very flimsy even by American standards

AIBU in thinking cousin and her husband were being really inconsiderate. I think they’re trying to conceive baby number 4! I just wouldn’t have carried on if it were me.

So a lot of you wouldn’t be bothered hearing your parent’s bed thudding or your adult kids?

I remember year’s ago being at my then partner’s friends house for a few days. We had very silent sex and it was actually fun and the silence made it more intense. There was no way we were going to let the bed or headboard thud because we were aware of others in the house.

I have put a stop to people having sex when I can hear it. I’m talking loudly calling them out, banging on the wall and inviting other housemates to join in shaming them over the breakfast table. They weren’t respectful and quiet about it though, think moaning, walls shaking, door open ajar- they wanted to be heard.

I think in your case they were trying to be as quiet as possible and it’s just an unfortunate situation with the thin walls. I would probably let them know but I wouldn’t be going scorched earth over it unless it felt intentional.

I do agree with a PP that if they knew they’d be actively trying for a baby they should’ve booked accommodation just for themselves though.

You assume you were silent, maybe you werent. Maybe others could actually hear you but never said anything 🤣 Some houses I have stayed in you could even hear people breathing slightly more heavily (eg if they had a cold and their nose was bunged up for example)

Who honestly would be trying to conceive while on holiday in a shared space? You’d get your own accommodation surely?

So they are ttc, and you decided to put them off sex? Is your uncomfortableness more important than their desire for a baby?

Why on earth? Do you think that conceiving requires different accommodation or something, or is going to take up entire days and nights?

This.

You heard thudding. Let it go. And don't book shared accommodation next time if it's such an issue.

Did you and your husband not have sex at all during the holiday?

Your last sentence made me 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

Is announcing to people that you’re TTC a thing now?

Did you not have sex at all for 2 weeks?

You're all adults. Adults have sex. You couldn't hear screaming, moaning, "vulgar" language. Just the fact that they were moving, quietly. So what?

You were quote rude to comment on it.

Jeez this thread is like a comedy sketch. OF COURSE people would be nonchalantly doing the wordle while some pair were going at it hammer and tongues on the adjoining wall as it’s ‘ONLY SEX…’

jeez reminds me of the young married couple on the Fast Show waving to their neighbours as they’re thrusting away in bushes and out of the window etc. Have some decorum ffs.

But it wasn’t ’a performance’ and they weren’t having ‘that level of shagging’. They were in the privacy of their own bedroom in a house. Literally all the OP heard was the bed, and that was only because the accommodation had very flimsy walls. They weren’t screaming and panting in the shared dorm of a backpackers’ hostel!

Hearing a headboard bumping once or twice on holiday is ‘fucking vile’? Really? I think most people who heard that from two grown adults would just catch their husband’s eye and get the giggles to be honest.

some pair were going at it hammer and tongues

Hammer & tongues
😂😂😂😂😂😂

I probably would stop, but they're ttc so 🤷‍♀️.

Since they were not moaning/screaming (heaven forfend) loud talking of the filthy variety, if I had heard I'd have gotten over it since they're ttc. Get some earplugs?

So you’re on holiday, chilling out watching a bit of telly with a glass of wine after a busy day. Then your cousin and her husband start banging away, despite being told you can hear them, so you’ve got to pause your evening to go run out and buy ear plugs? Silly suggestion.

A more reasonable suggestion would be that the cousin has a bit of consideration and stops making their private life public. If they’re ttc this could well be every night of the holiday which is unreasonable.

Everyone’s had sex in a noisy bed, you can hear the thumping noise and it’s obvious others in the house can too. It’s possible to have sex away from a noisy bed. There’s a distinct lack of imagination on this thread!

God, Brits have nearly as many hangups about sex as they do about death. You'd think in both cases it was something terribly embarrassing and only suffered by a minority, who should keep it strictly to themselves. Like haemorrhoids or something.

Eurgh. creepy response. I would have ignored it and if I was the wife I would probably say to my h in private something like "They heard us, had to make a creepy comment but are probably jealous." We would laugh about it and carry on having sex as we wanted in our bed, on our holiday. The OP could also have sex if hse wanted, I think most men would be turned on by sex next in the next room happening.

I think this is not a reasonable suggestion at all. It seems as if they were having sex as quietly as they could in the circumstances. I couldn't get too wound up about it.

I don't go with the porn sex, ott screeching and all that shit but some sound IS to be expected.
I'm amazed if all the pp 'complaining/ negative comments' actually have sex as they seem to be so British about it, stiff upper lip and let's have a cup of tea.
Well, Boy George did once say he'd rather have a cuppa so maybe some on here are following his lead.😉

"Chattanooga darling, put that avocado down if you're not going to eat it"

Sorry, calling bullshit on this being dismissed as a stiff upper lip or pearl clutching. No one’s begrudging them a sex life. It’s not the sex, it’s the lack of consideration and discretion when op is uncomfortable. Sex is normal and natural but should be kept between the people having it. Private doesn’t mean bad or wrong just private. I also close the door when I go to the toilet.

Is there no one you’d rather not hear having sex? Your parents, family members, adult children, best friend?
Do you have noisy sex yourself when staying with relatives?

No its called JOKE

Firstly they arent having screaming noisy sex, the bed made a thud sound and sometimes beds squeak and it can't be helped or you dont realise it until mid deed.

Secondly you made the example of going to the toilet - one day I am sure someone might be able to hear you through the bathroom door, does that mean you should never poo again in the house when anyone else is in??

Thirdly, the toilet analogy example only works if this couple had sex with their bedroom door wide open which presumably they didnt.

I also close the door when I go to the toilet.

I assume the cousin's door was firmly closed or op would've mentioned it.

It is the non-performative noise she is worried about, so if you really want to compare it to using the loo, then the equivalent would be ensuring that you peed in complete silence. No running water noise and certainly no flush, surely?

I think you are being a teeny bit pearl clutchy tbh, whether or not you want to admit to it