If you got told you could be heard doing it you’d stop - right??

[Laskey]

We were away with my cousin, her husband and her young kids. Two weeks in Florida. One week in a hotel, one week in a holiday home.

When we got to the air BnB it was very much needed after being crammed in a hotel room. It became very apparent however that the walls were paper thin. We heard everything from the open plan kitchen and diner.

The first time it happened dh and I jokingly said sounds like you had a good night. Just to acknowledge we could hear and give the hint to adjust behaviour. They were mortified. But did they stop? No. It was absolutely ridiculous. It’s not like we could hear screaming just the thud sound as the house was very flimsy even by American standards

AIBU in thinking cousin and her husband were being really inconsiderate. I think they’re trying to conceive baby number 4! I just wouldn’t have carried on if it were me.

I don’t understand the horror and squeamishness around married people with kids having sex. What’s so mortifying about it?!

I think it’s embarrasing you even mentioned it to them

I agree.
Isn’t the polite thing to ignore it and never mention it?

Well we mentioned it cause we’d hoped they’d take the hint

Why?
Why not just laugh it off? They’re not doing anything wrong, or anything to piss you off.

Weren’t you embarrassed to mention you heard them having sex?

I’d be embarrassed to know people heard me at it! They are obviously less bothered though and probably really want that 4th child, so if I were you I’d probably just stick some headphones on and listen to music/podcast as I wouldn’t want to hear it either but if they don’t care then there’s not much more you can do about it. It’s not wrong for couples to have sex and it sounds like they weren’t being vocal.

I don’t necessarily think it was rude of you to point out that you could hear them, for all you know they were unaware they could be heard and might have appreciated the heads up by way of a lighthearted comment. Presumably you are close with them and know each other well enough to be able to say things like that.

I'd maybe have a word about putting a cushion or something behind the headboard if the kids are of an age that they know what's going on and feel embarrassed. If not, whack the music up or put headphones in. Better still, put your bed against the partition wall and go for a full percussion symphony!

Personally it would put us right off and we would be on the floor if we couldn't make the bed shut up. Some people don't mind I guess. Lucky them I wish I had the energy/youth

My god, how dare they?! Married couple having quiet sex on holiday? Shocking!! 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️ it’s not their fault the walls are thin and it sounds as though they did try to be quiet… YABU.

Presumably they don’t realise you have some kind of sex phobia?

Misread this as they can have sex on their anal holiday, which would seem reasonable

Once again: you can’t expect two grown adults to abstain from sex in their own room just because you’re uptight.

You and your DH said what?! WTF is wrong with you?! That’s so weird. Were you trying to embarrass them?!

YANBU. I'd be absolutely mortified if anyone could hear, especially family!
It's really weird to carry on when they know you can hear.

I'd just crank some music up loud.

They're grim, as mumsnetters would say, and very inconsiderate. Like others said, give them a taste of their own medicine.

Lots of ‘cool’ people on this thread!

Do we know our cousin has sex with her husband? Yes. Do we object to that? Not at all. But do we want to hear it? No.

As a one off? A bit cringe but they obviously didn’t know. Multiple times? Weird and inconsiderate. It’s odd that some people wouldn’t feel uncomfortable listening to their family member having sex night after night. No thanks.

Continuing to have sex, loud enough that other people can hear - and when you've been told they can hear - is creepy and weird.

Seriously, get a grip.
They were trying to tell them that they could hear them...without embarrassing them by coming out and saying it.

Lots of ‘cool’ people on this thread!

’’Cool’ people’, or as I’d call them ‘normal adults with a sense of proportion’

Just focus on your iPads and turn up the volume a bit

They weren’t having loud sex. The OP said the only thing she could hear was the bed, and only because the property had unusually thin walls.

It’s mad to get that upset and disgusted by the sound of furniture. Sure, it’s mildly cringey, but if my DP and I heard that coming from the next room, we’d probably just look at each other and laugh. We wouldn’t a) care, b) make a point of embarrassing the couple the next day or c) expect them not to have sex again all week.

The amount of people saying they would cringe if kids heard seem to forget that not that many years ago families lived in one room so how do you think they reproduced lol

They probably thought you were angling for an invite.

It’s completely normal to not want to hear your cousin having sex. It’s not unreasonable to expect them to keep the noise down and be respectful of being in a shared space. Their sex life doesn’t take precedence over others being able to relax and enjoy their holiday. It’s not disproportionate or prudish it’s about respect and normal social awareness.

I am shocked how puritanical some people are. A married couple have sex on holiday thats to be expected. You might hear some noise if there are thin walls, if its not screaming and loud noise saying anything is far ruder.

It’s not grim to have quiet sex as a married couple on your holidays!

Not everybody turns inside out with revulsion at the idea of sex

Yes indeed

Its sex, not strangling kittens, I wouldn’t be annoyed if just try and ignore it