Would you be hurt by this?

[ScottishHaggis85]

A close friends young daughter said something strange to me near Xmas.
She heard us talking at a dinner table about saying goodbye to people after they pass & seeing them & i said going into see my Father was so hard & hurt me so much . She then commented to me “Not another sob story is it (with my name)??
I was shocked as shes under 10 but I said to her well it’s a horrible thing to see you’ll understand one day. & she just went away.
Tried to speak to friend about it she said shes too young to understand what she said & theres no point speaking to her about it now it’s done 🤨

You wouldn’t wonder where she heard it or if it was her mother ? Just human I guess

These people call me like family so I guess we talk about everything as it happens reslly x

It’s an odd thing to say though for an 8 year old i do think it was said with a reason but yeah

You're still brooding of something a child said ages ago and that you brought up with the parent two weeks after it happened.

You're being snarky to multiple posters. You've called them names.

You said something awful to a child and don't think that's a problem. You're holding a child to a higher standard than yourself, a grown woman.

She's young, she's finding her way with adult conversations happening around her and the subject was an uncomfortable one.

I think a little self reflection might be in order.

Lol you get what you give out unfortunately snark is given back to the rubbish been posted about a question! Humans are allowed to be miffed by a comment! Glad your so perfect 😅

how is saying one day you might see for yourself an awful thing to say your so dramatic they knew what they said while laughing and repeating it - children can be accountable too

Finding her way? 😅😅😅 what planet are you on honestly they knew what they said cause they obviously overheard it somewhere

As this thread goes on, I'm beginning to have a lot of sympathy for the mother of the child...

You're coming across as quite mad, OP. I'd write it off as a child just using an expression they didn't understand with absolutely no malicious intent.

It seems quite logical for an eight year old to think that a 'sob story' just means a sad story, and as she overheard you talking about something terribly sad, she said something she thought was appropriate.

Kids of that age are still figuring out connotations and figurative language. I remember being terribly confused at around the same age by hearing my aunt say to my mother about a neighbour of hers that she'd 'buried her husband last year'. I thought it meant that when your spouse died you literally had to dig their grave yourself, and as the neighbour was a tiny, fragile little woman, I thought it sounded like an impossible task.

You do seem quite nuts OP . Move on

She
Almost certainly heard it from her parents OP, and they complain you go on about the sad things in your life. I would not blame the child at all but you might want to challenge your friend.

You don't think it's just as likely that an eight year old had heard the expression 'sob story' somewhere and thought it just meant 'sad' because you sob when you're sad, and used it in total innocence of its connotations of manipulating someone into feeling sympathy for the teller?

I think what the child said was very rude, she should have been pulled up on it, your reply was a bit below the belt though. I think there are two possibilities, she’s just heard the phrase and thinks she’s being funny repeating it, she’s only 8, so definitely possible.

Or she’s heard her mum/dad say it about you, your friend didn’t correct her, so I would go with this option, as I can imagine she didn’t want to get into a discussion about it in case her kid dropped her in it e.g. “but that’s what you said about (OP’s name) the other day!”.

If you are being honest do you often have sob stories? It might be a good opportunity, as embarrassing as it is, to reflect on if there’s any truth in the comment.

She has obviously heard her mother say it. Thats not really something a 10 year old will have come up themselves.
Adults need to be very careful what they say in front of children, they will remember it and repeat it at the most awkward moments!!

You don't think it's horrible to say to an 8 year old child that one day someone they love will die and they will have to view the body? (Having been talking about how traumatic you found the experience.)

Rather proving my point.

Your responses are childish and unpleasant to people who are responding fairly reasonably, if critically, because you did ask AIBU. And yes, you are.

If this level of overreaction is typical, I'm rather seeing their point.

You are a bit of a moanbag. Parents have mentioned you and your sob stories before, kid picks up on it, You launch into another one and said kid asks if this was another one of your sob stories. An 8 year old would never use that phrase in the right context unless they heard it from an adult. In other words, they are sick of listening to them. Kid included.

She’s a kid, they pick up on what their parents say

As someone with a 10 year old who also teaches 10 year olds, I’d say that’s a really unkind thing to say and I’d be furious if my child said that to an adult. A 10 year would know that’s a mean thing to say.

She’s 8

Sorry, read it is 10. I also think an 8 year old would know this is hurtful! I’d be mortified if any of my kids spoke to an adult like this about anything, let alone their father dying…

They're 8? That's very young. I would assume that a partner said similar, or that you do 'lean' on your friend a lot. You do sound very sensitive, so I'd be thinking about whether there could be a kernel of truth to the words.

The child said something like 'is this another of YOUR sob stories'. Didn't sound as if she was asking if this was the kind of thing that is meant by a sob story. She might not have fully understood the manipulation element, but she was associating it with OP.

It’s not obvious at all.

The child has perhaps heard that phrase somewhere, liked the sound of it, and wanted to try it out. When it wasn’t met with laughter, she probably realised it was misjudged.

Nah, sorry - you clearly cannot grasp that a 8 year old could repeat a phrase, without grasping the actual meaning of that phrase.

You do sound like, and react like, someone who is a bit socially unaware and I am starting to think this kid has absolutely heard her parents bitching about you.