Would you be hurt by this?

[ScottishHaggis85]

A close friends young daughter said something strange to me near Xmas.
She heard us talking at a dinner table about saying goodbye to people after they pass & seeing them & i said going into see my Father was so hard & hurt me so much . She then commented to me “Not another sob story is it (with my name)??
I was shocked as shes under 10 but I said to her well it’s a horrible thing to see you’ll understand one day. & she just went away.
Tried to speak to friend about it she said shes too young to understand what she said & theres no point speaking to her about it now it’s done 🤨

I think your friend is right in that a 10 year old wouldn't really understand it but I mean that as in a way that they will not really appreciate loss and not having fully developed empathy. Your friend is very wrong not to talk to her about it though, talking about it with her, that's how children learn. My DC said a few insensitive things as children, even younger than 10. I spoke to them about why they shouldn't say it and how it makes people feel. If your friend isn't having these conversations with her child there's a good chance the child will grow into quite a nasty teen. These parents are the type who raise bully's.

That’s what I thought…. Everytime they say theres no point you know what their like etc it’s letting them away with the behaviour every single time & teaching them there is no consequences to cheeky behaviour x

Grow up lol
why would anyone want their apparent best friend speaking about them like that
this child knows what their saying so don’t play that their innocent children can be capable of being nasty
being involved in a conversation where others at the table spoke about the same situation isnt attention seeking it’s a conversation

They know full well what they are saying, because maybe they are sick of hearing sob stories.

I have said the same myself to people, that bang on about things.
Op your not the only one that has had to say goodby neither are you the only one that as seen a dead body.

Makes sense they can be quite nasty to each other these days !x

Does this not make you think you tell too many sob stories OP?

Haahhahaha Im sorry what

when did anyone say they were the only one???

it was a conversation speaking about mutual experiences amongst friends your mad

and how can an 8 year old be sick of hearing sob stories make it make sense

Makes me think their probably just like you :)

I don't think there's any way you can be sure that it's something she heard her parents say about you. Kids pick up phrases all the time and try them out to work out what they mean - I got it into my head that 'fellatio' was a fancier form of 'fellow' when I was a kid, and I'm sure my parents never used the word in front of me (or each other probably!) at all, let alone in that context. I think I must have read it somewhere and got the complete wrong end of the stick, as it were.

If this child is often exposed to more adult conversations, then she has probably heard lots of things that she wouldnt have the context to understand and it can be hard to gather the real meaning behind a term that could just be descriptive if you don't understand the snark.

And you come across snappy all about you.
Most of your replies sound nasty, are you one of them that like it all about you and your feelings.
If a 10 year old as said it say something.

But she could just think that it means a sad story while your understanding of the phrase is something quite different and derogatory. The child is 10, I quite understand why mum said it was no good talking to her about 2 weeks later. The time to address it was when she said it.
Now is the time for you to let it go and move on.

Correction the snappy replies are back to the same tone

Move on get over it its been 2 weeks.

Sounds to me like she's heard one of her parents talking about people with sob stories.

Whether thats been about you, and whether the child understands that 'sob story' is an insulting term and not just 'someone talking about something sad' - thats another matter.

If you are frequently emotionally dumping on these people, maybe its a bit of a heads up. If you really aren't, then either they are not as nice as you thought or they're talking about someone else entirely.

Years ago, as a teenager, I rang a friend at her and her parents home. Her young neice was there who I'd met a few weeks previously and gotten on really well with (like most adults who talk directly to children she thought I was great, very fun)...

Friends Mum answered and shouts to friend 'its Widdlin on the phone for you'...

As the line hangs open waiting... I hear a small voice rather loudly ask:

'Widdlin? Is that the one Grandma says is a pillock?'

Much spluttering and shushing from 'Grandma'. Much snorted laughter from me.

Ah, fun times. (I already knew that 'Grandma' didn't have the highest opinion of me).

While laughing?? You wouldn’t say not another sob story is it? While laughing
if I want to chat about it I will

Well that’s cemented my opinion! Are you jealous of the attention the dd gets from your friend?

Maybe no one else wants to hear your self centred chat?

Very very true.
MeMeME thats all im reading.

It’s pretty obvious to me they’re not as nice as they have been in the past & the child is picking up bad habits like calling people fat poking peoples stomachs saying fat , not taking no for an answer etc. I didn’t want to beleive the comment came from the mother but I guess il never know but I do know if it were me I’d be sitting the child down and telling them not to say things like that and at least asking where rhey heard it

I think you have sumed it up tbh.

It might not be your friend talking behind your back op, it could be that she has heard this elsewhere (not necessarily at home) and tried to apply it to your conversation as it seemed (to her 10yo mind) to fit. She’s still very young and just learning about what adults do and don’t say to each other, I’d give her some grace if you can.

Erm what??

All ways a dip feed when one cant get people on there side.

While others were talking about their dead aunties? Okayyyy

Are you chronologically or emotionally quite young @ScottishHaggis85 ?