To want to retire aged 46?

[imprincesspearl]

I’m not going to before anybody comes at me … but jeez, the thought of another fourteen years working does depress me a bit.

I am a teacher (secondary) and I think I’ve just been doing it for far too long (started in 2002) - I’ve lost motivation and interest. I can’t even really look at different schools as they are all much of a muchness.

I honestly would retire tomorrow if it was possible.

I can relate to feeling bored teaching the same old stuff. The problem then is that this comes across, your teaching is less engaging, your students respond less positively and the whole thing spirals down. What saved me was taking on an additional responsibility that gave me more interest & respect. You're interested in social work. Can you try and do any training possible around safeguarding, SEMH, SEND, behaviour management etc and consider working towards a leadership role in one of these areas? Or as the children get older, start to pick up private tutoring / training alongside your teaching. Doing all these might open doors to pivot into something related and doing even a one day training course can help give you a different perspective.

Surely you could easily move to a different kind of teaching. E.g. in. PRU or Special school you'd likely teach a completely different curriculum with completely different challenges.

I am very much against online diagnoses, but I really do feel that you might be depressed - not just by your situation which we can all be at times, but clinically.

You are not sleeping, you are irritable (I have been on the receiving end of this!), you find it hard not to attach a negative spin to everything, and you are generally feeling sad. These are the hallmarks of depression - might it be worth speaking to the GP? Have you had a problem with this before.

I would also gently say that there is a generation of children in your school who are being taught by someone who is very negative about it all - now I know that many teachers are fed up with their profession and I am sure that you and they do your utmost not to let it influence your teaching, but it will when you are feeling as low as you are.

I hope you can find a way through this sticky patch.

14 years … don’t you mean 22? Retirement age is 68 for someone who’s 46 now.

Friend of mine got out of state schools, worked in management for a couple years then started teaching in a private school. She found it so different and actually loves teaching again.
Maybe not all schools are the same?

Do you teach the word “pleasanter” to your pupils? Hope not.

Ugh I'm the same. I'm 42 and actually left work last year after running headlong into a major medical event. I'm not fully recovered, but not sick enough to qualify for disability benefits.

The thought of going back to my profession (even a different job) is crushing. I wasn't really enjoying it anyway. It's intense and patient facing and with lingering health issues I just can't face it.

I do have a financial buffer for quite a while yet but no idea what comes next. I'm trying not to think about it, but really really wish I could just retire if I'm being honest!!

What's wrong with pleasanter? i.e more pleasant

So you are part time and are going to retire at 60?

Do you realise how lucky you are?

It is gramatically correct, but it sounds weird. (to me.) More pleasant sounds better. 😃

Being a teacher is such a hard job. If you can afford the pay cut, would you be interested in becoming a TA/HLTA? You wouldn't have to retrain, still have school holidays off for childcare, and you'd get your evenings and weekends back, no more late nights marking, planning, etc. No more working on half term/holidays. That's what I did, and yes the pay is much worse but you get so much more time! I don't regret it.

I retired at 55 and, happily, my retirement has been the complete opposite! It’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. My husband carried on for a few more years and he’s retired as well now! I’ve loved every day of my retirement…

Hi OP
I think you need to be realistic and change your mindset.
You are working part-time and have school holidays off so that puts you in a better place than most. I am not underestimating the enormity of the responsibility of teachers, I have family members in the same profession.
Few people can retire at 46.
Either reinvest in teaching or retrain.
Most people don't have the option of working part-time.

This point makes no sense when you’ve since stated that you’re part time! So there are multiple days every week for the next 14 years you can spend devoting only to yourself. And then the flexibility to spend lots of time with your children.

Overall it should be an incredible set up but your negative outlook on almost every facet of your life is what is ruining things for you.

I hear you OP! I’m only 43 but no idea how I’m going to carry on for another 20 years at least 😭Currently seem to be training AI to do my job so may be redundant soon anyway.

I couldn’t easily move - the whole point here is that I’m very limited and restricted in what I can do to the point that even moving schools isn’t simple or straightforward. Anyway. I just don’t want to teach. I will teach, because I have to but I really have lost my enthusiasm.

@Newyearawaits anyone can ask for part time. People overwhelmingly don’t because they can’t afford to. It has its upsides but it does mean I earn less, and there are other drawbacks as well, it isn’t a land of milk and honey. In this instance I am part time to care for a two year old; I’m not spending my days off relaxing and pursuing my own interests.

Honestly @LittleMyLabyrinth i think I’d be more bored with that than teaching. TA work has never appealed to me at all.

Sorry to hear that @mjf981 , that sounds tough. There do seem to be a lot of us in our forties struggling.

@BatchCookBabe the whole ‘you’re part time’ thing is getting really tedious. I’m part time and have been since I was 41, because I have preschool children and I look after them on my days off. It really isn’t a blissful existence; there are delightful moments but there are also many gruelling ones and last year was actually one of the hardest of my life and I ended up five stone overweight (have lost it now) on anti depressants and contemplating divorce. Things are better now but anyone who wants to wag their finger at me for my ‘good luck’ can frankly get stuffed. Days off with very young children are not days off. Do I need to explain this on Mumsnet of all places?!

It does seem to be something we go through in our forties, judging by this thread. It’s sad as I used to love my job; felt really engaged and passionate about it and now I couldn’t care less.

The post makes no sense if you assume that the current state of the nation will remain so when both children are at school. It won’t. Even if it did to be honest that’s no help to me now.

People should be planning from the age of 20 to go part-time in their mid 40s because I’m here to tell you by the time you getting your mid 50s. It’s exhausting just putting 1 foot in front of the other day and day out.

Can you afford to retire?
Can you stick it out?
If no to both you need to find a new job. Is there anything related that you can find interest in? Or any hobbies or interests you can expore a job in?

I have sidestepped about 5 times in my career. I get bored and frustrated and see things are becoming obsolete and move sideways.
I feel like you would benefit from doing the same. It takes some effort learning something new but if you go sideways its not such a big leap.
Having pre school kids is hard though.. you might have to wait until you have more energy to commit yo yourself once they start school but you can start planning and dreaming now.

sign on to an agency and do cover, turn up, classroom manage someone elses lessons, go home, no marking, no politics just collect the wage, if you dont like some aspect about the school ask to be re assigned. chuck in a bit of invigilation for a change of pace.

I can’t, @CitizenofMoronia . It wouldn’t work with childcare. And it’s still teaching!

I suppose even if you did move to another school you wouldn't get the part time hours you need or be able to pick your days. And you wouldn't necessarily be able to get the same salary.

Also you're bored rather than under unacceptable stress. That might not be the case in a different environment.

It seems that what you actually want is sadly not realistic.

I think this thread is irritating me a little because it's so patently ridiculous to think that retiring at 46 could ever be a reasonable expectation. That would leave you with probably 40 years of retirement. Not many of us could afford that, most people would struggle to fill that much down time, it would be really unreasonable to think you could sit on your butt for 40 years while everyone else works to supply you with the services you and your children need to survive.

You could have said you want to be a SAHM, or you want to leave teaching and that would make sense.

Lots of people are a bit envious when other people retire. But the whole thing about retiring in your 60s is your body is starting to age, you have less energy and frankly, you are closer to death. So being jealous of people who are retired is daft. They had to work until their 60s to earn that retirement.

So your post should be - I hate teaching and I don't particularly enjoy being at home with my kids. And that is a slightly different conversation and you might get different answers.

But to be honest, you are so resistant to any feedback anyone has offered you, you sound determined to stay stuck where you are. In which case, you might have to start working to find some positives in your situation. You aren't teaching full time, you aren't on benefits, you are competent at your job. There are worse work problems than boredom. Your situation definitely could be worse. The stage when your kids are young is relentless for all of us. It does get easier. You will not feel like this for ever, honest!