To want to retire aged 46?

[imprincesspearl]

I’m not going to before anybody comes at me … but jeez, the thought of another fourteen years working does depress me a bit.

I am a teacher (secondary) and I think I’ve just been doing it for far too long (started in 2002) - I’ve lost motivation and interest. I can’t even really look at different schools as they are all much of a muchness.

I honestly would retire tomorrow if it was possible.

I think variety is really important in life, why not try something new? Whether that’s a change of role in your school, a new school, or a completely different career?

It’s normal to feel frustrated, tired and stressed from working, it’s a lot. But sometimes a change is all you need to give a little boost for the next few years.

As I remind myself when it gets tough, if they didn’t pay me I wouldn’t be there. Just an observation though, every woman I know that works part time seems to struggle more, it doesn’t seem to convey many benefits. Maybe because you’re expected to be on top of what’s happening at work ALL the time and there’s an expectation you’ll be on top of the house as well. Most pt women I know with kids are utterly frazzled. I’ve always worked ft. My standards are low! But teaching is super hard, never met anyone who left who regretted it. Just keep repeating you’re in it for the money. If someone offers you enough money to do something you’ll prefer better, do that instead. Sadly there’s no jobs for life anyway so loyalty doesn’t count for anything.

If you don’t even enjoy your time off in the school holidays why would not working change that?
It sounds like the problem is your own mindset.

Don’t start a thread in AIBU if you don’t want to be told you’re acting like a princess.

Everyone has to work, you’re not special.

Ultimately it is up to you to decide. You can keep going or you can change. Most barriers can be overcome. I personally wouldn't discard an opportunity just because it was a pay reduction (especially as you imply your husband is the main earner anyway) - far better to enjoy the next 20 years work for less money than wish away your prime.

Having teachers who are unmotivated isn't in anyones interest, not yours, not the kids etc.

@imprincesspearl I will say that mid 40s is a time of feeling like a change. I don't think that it's a coincidence that it comes as the change, menopause, is on its way. You might be surprised and find you are enjoying it again in your 50s. I'm fully through the menopause, retired through poor health. But at 58, health picked up a bit, I'm looking at jobs again. I feel a lot better than I did ten years ago and that isn't uncommon for women. Just hang on in there. Find things to enjoy over summer with snd without your children (if possible).

If you started teaching before 2007 your pension may be more than you think. I started in 1996 and have done 30 years and it’s enough. I’m 53 and part time. I’m stopping in the summer at 53 and going to live a life off my lovely retired husband for 2 years and then pull my pension at 55. I was SLT for a long time and due to demand had many R and R points etc that have all gone now but if I go at 55 I get £90K lump sum (tax free) and then it’s £38K a year. More than enough to live off and ironically more than my part time salary.
Get yourself on the teachers pension forum as they have great advice.

I don’t think I’m acting like a princess at all. Acting like a princess would be insisting on not working. As it is - I’m admitting somewhere under the cloak of relative anonymity how unhappy I am teaching, how much I dislike it, but am stuck with it.

I know many others are the same and effectively stuck in a job they dislike. It’s hardly being a princess.

@Halfull part time has a lot of downsides, not least that you do get barbed comments (like the ones here really) - I think people forget part time work comes with part time pay.

@Ponoka7 i really hope so as it’s depressing me ag the moment. I’ve never wanted to be a negative person but I am struggling to conjure up any enthusiasm, even fake enthusiasm!

@goz i have both children at home for mosh of the school holidays. It’s a lot to manage, although it is slowly getting easier it certainly isn’t a rest or a reset.

Not everyone ‘has’ to work. Like most things in life, it’s a choice , albeit a choice for which you also need to accept the consequences of your choice when you make it.

I hear you OP.Is there a chance you may be able to tutor at all? DS had a lovely guy who used to tutor a little group .Was OK with me staying ,( a bit of a drive from home). Used to talk to us about Friday Night Dinner (Table all laid out) made DS feel at home .I think you would do well esp tuition for 11 plus and maths /English coaching.Although of course with small DC you would have Children after School to coach

Op didn’t convey that she was feeling like she should have special treatment at all, in fact she just explained that she had lost her passion for her profession in the monotony of the situation and was doing some thinking about possible consequences of changing things. It’s not a crime to think about the past, present and future and check in with yourself and others for ideas. It’s fucking normal really.

I really appreciate that. Having an awful round of sleep at the moment which isn’t helping my mood and other small but annoying things grinding me down quite a lot!

You're choosing to stay.

You might have to change your lifestyle, but of course it's not impossible to change things. It's a choice.

I've pivoted careers in my 40s so I now work fully remotely. It's a game changer. I bake sourdough and do pilates.

It isn’t just my lifestyle though, it’s my DHs, my children’s. When you have a family you can’t unilaterally make decisions that would impact them, especially when that impact is likely to be negative. I’m realistic about this and I’m also not a selfish person.

To be fair I think you've done well getting to 20+ years in role. I always get ]twitchy being in the same place after 6-8. But I then change am refreshed with a new challenge. I think people get institutionalised into roles they don't like but don't dislike enough to take action.

Perhaps check out resources like

https://www.thosewhocan.org/
https://uk.indeed.com/career-advice/starting-new-job/leaving-teaching

If you search for "jobs for ex-teachers" there are a range of roles. Teaching is a valuable skill that employers want and you don't necessarily need to retrain.

I appreciate your children are young but you couldn't spend the next year or so researching what's out there and make a long-term plan. Wishing you the best.

“I have both children at home for mosh of the school holidays. It’s a lot to manage, although it is slowly getting easier it certainly isn’t a rest or a reset.”

Teachers are the only ones I ever see making this complaint. I’m really confused about their perspective of other working parents and the idealistic resets they think annual leave is.

Maybe have a wee think as to why that is!

I think this is definitely a lot to do with it. It is true a change is as good as a rest!

Haven't rtwt, but I changed careers at 49/50 OP. And it was to something utterly different (different sector, completely different role). So it can be done!

As in you do that (sourdough + pilates) for work? Do you make a decent living off it? I considered setting up a home bread-making business, but the sums just didn't add up :(

At any rate @gozto be honest it isn’t a complaint so much as a statement of fact; school holidays aren’t massively enjoyable for me at the moment. Last year, I had both children home with me on my days off and I will admit to anyone I nearly lost my mind. I can cope and be a good parent to one under five at a time and that is my limit. Unfortunately I did not realise this until the second child was here! And it isn’t unfortunate really as I love them both to pieces but er - not necessarily together. 😂

That is only relevant because of the chorus of those insisting my life is marvellous because of school holidays. My life is more good despite school holidays.

Hope so - not sure it will be practical. I had my children too old 😂

Buy two goats