Avocados are deceitful little bastards

[likelysuspect]

Look ripe. Feel ripe.

Not ripe

Five minutes later. Over ripe.

They are also the cause of many knife injuries. There are peer-reviewed articles about their evil, stabby ways: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31303536/

Abstract
Introduction: Recent media reports have described knife injuries sustained while preparing avocados; however, this rise has not been reported in the literature. The purpose of this study is to describe, quantify, and trend emergency department (ED) encounters associated with avocado-related knife injuries.
Methods: The National Electronic Injury Surveillance System (NEISS) was queried for avocado-related knife injuries from 1998 to 2017. Patient demographic and injury data was collected and analyzed to describe trends in incidence, patient demographics, and injury patterns associated with an ED encounter for an avocado-related knife injury.
Results: There were an estimated 50,413 (95% Confidence Interval: 46,333-54,492) avocado-related knife injuries from 1998 to 2017. The incidence of avocado-related knife injuries increased over this time period (1998-2002 = 3143; 2013-2017 = 27,059). This increase correlated closely with a rise in avocado consumption in the U.S. (Pearson's Correlation: 0.934, p < 0.001) Women comprised 80.1% of injuries. The most common demographic injured were 23 to 39-year old females (32.7%), while the least common was males under the age of 17 (0.9%). Most ED presentations occurred on Saturdays (15.9%) or Sundays (19.9%) and the majority occurred during the months of April through July (45.6%). Injuries were much more common on the left (and likely non-dominant) hand.
Conclusion: Avocado-related knife injuries are a preventable cause of hand injury. The incidence has risen significantly in recent years, possibly due to an increased consumption of avocados in the United States. Education on safe avocado preparation techniques and public safety initiatives, such as warning labels, could help prevent serious injuries in the future.

It will soften up at precisely 4.12 am and be mush by the time you get to it. Guaranteed.

@likelysuspect

This was written for you - sketch on pears

I had one with the teeeeeniest little stone the other day. DS was making guacamole, and he called me into the kitchen to marvel at it.
I notice my local Aldi have taken to putting them on the top shelf in order to fool me into selecting the rocks. Does anyone else call them avoc-hardos?

Yup I literally named my username after this.

Lovely on a bacon sandwich though, if they're a bit hard then put them in the frying pan with the bacon. I prefer one of those bake at home baguettes for a bacon/avocado sandwich, Lidl tomorrow for me!

Sometimes, and sorry it's mainly the ones from Asda, <do cry for me all ye who shop at Waitrose and Ocado> they are just 'stringy'. Neither ripe nor over ripe. Just a strange texture. Like eating a door mat.

However, I'm not on board with all this 'no avo' mash on toast (i.e. mushy peas on toast).

I nearly mentioned in my OP that I could barely get the knife into it

This was my first indication that something was not right.

Agree- proper bastards. See also Mangoes (but that could just be my being useless as no-one else seems to have issues with mangoes)

Or when they get the weird brown fibre strings in them.

to be honest it’s the only thing I dislike about online shopping. I don’t even trust dh to choose a good one, never mind a total stranger. Everyone knows you have to gently squeeze it up close to your ear to hear if it’s ripe, then transport it round the shop in the baby seat of the trolley 🤷‍♀️

Just to play devil's avocate (see what I did, it didn't work but even so...) our lidl ones are the best around. Sainsbos usually pretty good too. We go through about 8 a week me and my husband so I speak from some experience!
Went to Mexico last year, still weeping about how good they are there 🥑

Dd (11 at the time, not sure how she knew 😆) informed me it’s about how easy the little stalk comes off and I have now perfected it to coming off but with a slight resistance (I prefer them firm, obviously this is subjective). Still doesn’t allow for a tasteless one but I usually get me preferred level of ripe 🥑

Add Sharon fruit to the list (am I allowed to still call them that, or is it offensive to all Sharons?)

This is why i only eat tinned pears.

Last time I was in Australia they sold frozen avocado chunks in the freezer section. It might happen here too, but I have not seen it.

Shall I tell you what defrosted avocado chunks are like? It's not pretty.

I have frozen avocado slices at home

I credit this site for teaching me about flash freezing.

A complete marvel.

What do you do with them? My mother uses them as a topping for pizza and my dad uses them in a creamy pasta sauce with mushrooms. I find the texture goes a little odd.

But tbf, the texture of avocados is often odd- as this thread demonstrates!

Me too 😊

ah frozen avocado - yes it IS SOLD HERE - to catering companies at least.

I know this because during the dark days of lockdown a local catering supply company was, of course, left with tons of stock - so they started selling to households. 5kg of beetroot anyone? Well, there were 5 adults in the house so we managed to get through most of the large catering supply volumes - though I think the wholegrain mustard might still be going strong in the back of the fridge.....

we got through a tray of 50 "Beyond burgers" (the fake meat) quite easily - but I have no desire to eat them ever again - and yes, HUGE packs of frozen avocado.

This is why cafes always have smashed avocado on toast available - they use defrost the bit they need and smash it.

it was actually OK made into guacamole.

Out of two of the little bastards, today, I got half a passable green bit. Only had them a couple of days (okay, got them last week…)

DH told me recently that I'd woken him up by saying in my sleep "Funny little things, aren't they?".
"What's funny?" he mumbled.
"Peas, of course!" I chortled, still asleep. "Funny little things!"

I don't know what peas do that's so funny, but they're obviously nicer and more co-operative than pears and avocados.

Oooh! This is exactly the kind of information that keeps me on Mumsnet! Thank you!

A perfect one is an absolute joy. Most are mediocre and sometimes those stringy brown abominations sneak in

I just eat them as normal. I slice them, put them on a tray, then after an hour in the freezer on the tray, put them in a freezer bag as separate slices and just get out a slice or two when I need it, or whatever I need

They do discolour slightly but not hugely

Peas are the reliable workhorse of the vegetable world

I put them above potatoes because they're colourful even though strictly speaking potatoes are more variable and can be used in more ways.

You cant make chips out of peas for example.

I came here to mention mangoes. I have one that I wanted to use tonight but it’s still rock hard. Put it on the window sill to ripen, no doubt it’ll be mush by tomorrow night.