To think colleagues joke was NOT acceptable?

[LaurenkI]

My team has a meeting every Monday (virtual) and there’s always chat at the start about weekends etc. One of my colleagues said he’s worrying because his holiday plans for the year include already booked trips to Cyprus and Dubai. Another colleague then said ‘any chance you can book a trip to France next’ and he got a few laughs.

I have family in France, as does another colleague I’m aware of. Is it me or is this type of ‘joke’ really inappropriate given the current climate?

I think it depends how you interpret it. I’d hear that as ‘book somewhere nearer and safer next time and you’ll have a better chance of getting there!’. So I wouldn’t hear it as insensitive or inappropriate. It’s just banter about holidays being cancelled or not.

I’m not sure, if the ‘joke’maker definitely meant ‘because I’d like to see France attacked’ then no, it’s not funny and it’s not appropriate in the workplace.

however when I read your post I read it as ‘because France is much safer so you should pick a better holiday destination’ - which is also not very funny but is more in line with workplace chat

You’re an absolute fun sponge looking for offense.

sounds a good idea to book somewhere a bit closer to home!

Can you explain why you're upset, I don't get it

Same here!

It was the top one. The person who said it made it clear after when he saw some bemused looking faces.

The inference is clearly that Iran immediately attacks anywhere this colleague plans a visit to, hence "France next please".

It's a bit crass, but the sort of thing I'd just roll my eyes at and move swiftly on.

So he doesn't like France? More fool him, it's one of my favourite places. I think people use levity when the world appears to be going to shit, personally I wouldn't be offended, he's not literally wishing ill on the place, he just thinks he is being funny. I'm Welsh and if I had a pound for every time I heard some shit said about my home country - it's always raining/our language is unintelligible and you can't say it without spitting/none of the place names are legible... you name it, then I would be a wealthy woman. As it is, I just refuse to have a chip on my shoulder about it - if people want to make jokes about Wales, fine. Unless they are being directly offensive to me then who cares - not worth my energy.

It's not clear though, it's ambiguous.

Dark humour is how people cope and process things. You might not find it funny but so what?

Isn't this the typical UK little islander view point where world politics and human suffering only features in their lives because it affects their holiday plans?

Totally off putting.

I don't think it's ambiguous at all to be honest.

"Any chance" is a request to book that specific country, not just any random destination safer than the middle-east, so it's obvious the person making the request is motivated by hope France will be attacked if his colleague books a trip there.

Someone made a glib comment and you have hurt feelings because you misinterpreted it as that person assuming they’d like your family to get hurt? If that’s the case I think you need more stuff to worry about.

But why does it bother you? Do you genuinely think that your colleague wants France to be attacked by Iran?

You just need to move on, OP. I would read that this isn’t one of your favourite colleagues.

It’s just a daft comment meant as a joke. Our two countries have centuries of rivalry though relations are currently good -
I think you’ll find there’s a popular history called 1000 Years Of Annoying The French. It was not aimed at you or your family. Forget it.

It might be worth jumping on a call with the colleague and explaining why his comments might be seen to be inappropriate.

It’s a great opportunity to educate and foster a kinder working environment.

You are really overreacting, it was a not very funny joke, that’s all, nothing deeper

I suppose his 'joke' was that he didn't like France, which is a bit silly and not funny. But I think YABU to take it so personally.

Dark humour is fine.

Suggesting it's hilarious for a country to be bombed because you don't like it isn't 'dark humour' though. It's just plain old racism.

I use dark humour as a coping mechanism all the time to process things. I can tell you categorically that that isn't what the OP's colleague was doing. At all.

You're being over-sensitive.

I honestly don’t get the offense. It’s a variation on you’ve booked somewhere dangerous, go for somewhere safer next time. He said France (fab…. I go several times a year) but could equally have said the Cotswolds, or Bognor or Timbuktu (maybe not… not sure how safe it is there).

I’ll leave that to my manager to deal with when she returns tomorrow and has an email from me to pick up.

Ok it was said and? What do you want now about it?

What do you mean by the current climate? There is a very very longstanding rivalry between the English and the French and the French would make similar jokes about the Brits. It's humour that you clearly don't understand and instead are choosing to be offended. 🙄