To think colleagues joke was NOT acceptable?

[LaurenkI]

My team has a meeting every Monday (virtual) and there’s always chat at the start about weekends etc. One of my colleagues said he’s worrying because his holiday plans for the year include already booked trips to Cyprus and Dubai. Another colleague then said ‘any chance you can book a trip to France next’ and he got a few laughs.

I have family in France, as does another colleague I’m aware of. Is it me or is this type of ‘joke’ really inappropriate given the current climate?

I took it because of the small boats coming from France. We've all worked with absolute knobheads, I wouldn't have reacted.

It’s a great opportunity to make herself the most ridiculed person in the office. You surely can’t think that if she speaks to this colleague and tells him that what he said wasn’t very nice, he’ll consider himself educated and resolve to be kinder in future? Of course he won’t. He’ll roll his eyes at her and think she’s being utterly ridiculous. As will everyone else.

No, it wasn’t funny. It was unoriginal and not very witty. But ffs, this is someone’s livelihood you’re potentially interfering with here, and all for a stupid comment that was wasn’t offensive, wasn’t attacking a minority or engaging in hate speech. If you had an issue with it, then you should have had the courage of your convictions and called him out there and then, rather than expecting your boss to be as tiresome about it as you’ve been.

Been there, done that. If this sort of thing came across my desk I’d have treated it with the utmost importance.

There's no way you've been a manager if you think this is something you need to report and discuss with HR.

I don't think that was an appropriate workplace joke unless there was clear context we haven't heard. As a manager I'd expect to have a quick word with the person who made it and would have no problem with OP's email.

If people don't have the sense to keep xenophobic jokes out of the office, it's reasonable to ask them to be more professional.

I haven’t read all the responses but is this perhaps a rugby related “joke”?

I cannot imagine giving this any head space

Oh that’s very cowardish…speak to him yourself!

That's how I would interpret it. I can't see any offence.

I wish I had enough time on my hands to deal with petty things like this. Luckily my staff don’t kickstart the grievance process every time someone has a different sense of humour.

Nah - you can't be real. You're all butthurt about a joke that could be interpreted in more than one way and you've dobbed someone in for that?
You are everything that is wrong with everything.

That is the context which came to my mind as potentially making it more acceptable, but someone needs to have a word with the man about being more clear and careful in his communication, if that's the case.

I wouldn't be asking for his head on a block, but no reason for OP, other colleagues and potentially clients to be fielding jokey insults about their nationality at work.

Its called 'Dark humour' Its how some people cope. These are unstable times. I think we have to stop being so hypersensitive or we're not going to be able to navigate them.

I can't believe that you've taken this to your manager and plan to inform HR. That's a massive overreaction to a mildly eye-rolling joke..

No one is allowed to make dark jokes anymore.

everyone has to be professionally offended and report to higher up.

Eye rolling because you don’t find something funny is no longer enough.

no wonder we are becoming more insular and less social.

I have French connections and Id have found it funny. They’d have probably made a similar joke about the UK. The rivalry goes back centuries!

You actually want this formally investigating?

hahahahahahahahahhahaahahh

I think op more likely to hotfoot it in
on the off chance she gets to see someone admonished!

It’s in bad taste but honestly I wouldn’t have given it a second thought. I think you’re probably making too much of what was meant as a joke.

Agreed. Of all the hills to die on, OP picks this?

I don’t find the so-called joke remotely funny, but fuck me, does it really warrant more than an eye-roll and being ignored?

I’m pretty PC and have definitely been called ‘woke’ in my time and even I think you are being ridiculous.

I got a reasonable stream of low key jokes of that sort about my nationality (not French) in the office in one role.

And then one of the main perpetrators had a tantrum one day and accused me of disagreeing with him because I was of that nationality (which was completely irrelevant to our disagreement).

Perhaps it would have been better if I or someone else had picked him up on the jokes - better for both of us I think. It's no harm asking a manager to have a word with him and to ask him to keep anything that might be perceived as xenophobic out of the office.

Lighten up FGS. There’s enough misery in life, where would we be if we didn’t try and lighten the mood.

Utmost importance

Think you've jumped the shark there, OP 🤣

@Mangledrake
Its literally the first thing I thought of - a stupid kind of “joke” lost on people who for instance don’t give a shit about rugby or have a clue why this could even pass for a joke. Out of context it seems very odd but I’d literally never go to xenophobia or “boat” related issues as that’s a bit laser-focused and so completely inappropriate for work that it wouldn’t usually occur to a person to try to make that “joke”.., but a rugby type “joke” might

I don’t think he meant France was the safer option. He was most likely referring to people crossing the channel from France on small boats. People fleeing from a war isn’t something to joke about. How many Brits stuck in those countries will decide to stay and fight?