To think colleagues joke was NOT acceptable?

[LaurenkI]

My team has a meeting every Monday (virtual) and there’s always chat at the start about weekends etc. One of my colleagues said he’s worrying because his holiday plans for the year include already booked trips to Cyprus and Dubai. Another colleague then said ‘any chance you can book a trip to France next’ and he got a few laughs.

I have family in France, as does another colleague I’m aware of. Is it me or is this type of ‘joke’ really inappropriate given the current climate?

Technically it’s Xenophobia not racism, and this kind of comment is exactly what dark humour is. I loathe racism or any kind of bigotry and war, but I would’ve laughed at this joke as it was a joke! A bit of dark humour to lighten the mood in what is a horrible time at the moment.

I think you’re being over sensitive and dramatic.

Writ large, the OPs experience that they needed to share with is all is quite a good illustration of the dangers of trying to be clever when it comes to what makes people laugh.

Jimmy Carr is probably the best exponent of this fascinating glimpse into human psychology. Many many years ago, in a uncharacteristically grown up interview on Jonathan Ross, he was challenged over his rather raw humour. He then proceeded to eloquently explain a deep study of humour (much like Paul Daniels was scholar on illusionism) and a fascination with humours ability to bypass all our social barriers and penetrate before our conscious self has a chance to intervene.

He then told a very "off" joke (that I can't recall). As predicted there was a laugh from the audience which was followed within less than a second of a "ooooooooo" as they realised it was a "questionable" joke.

He then explained that his idea of performance is to dance the line between where it's "funny" to the soul but "not funny" to the mind.

So when you start opining about humour and taste you are very much in danger of having to admit that you "get" the joke - but don't like it. Or equally damning - you simply don't "get" the joke. And these two case studies are not something that just happened (checks notes) 2nd March 2026. They are as old as the hills. And frankly, if a joke has to be explained to you, then you are the last person to be pronouncing judgement. And if you get a joke, but don't like it, then just remember that your colleagues are required to get your perfume whether they like it or not.

I wonder if the OPs employer is the sort that witters on about wanting employees to bring their whole selves - including sense of humour - to work ?

I am sure there is a Reddit rule somewhere that says when a discussion on humour has to reference Jimmy Carr, it's game over. 😂

I’ll go against the grain and say that I would have found the joke unsuitable for a workplace too, OP.

there has to be a clear line between what’s acceptable and what’s not. I imagine it’s a fair bet that’s someone who thinks it’s okay to say a joke like this has some other questionable views. it’s very outdated behaviour.

there has to be a clear line between what’s acceptable and what’s not.

Yes, and if 99% of people say the joke was fine, then that's the line. Even if 1 person disagrees.

It’s a joke ffs. Lighten up. You sound like a Green Party activist.

Yeh let’s ban jokes eh

Get a grip.

And we wonder why British productivity is low... I'ts because HR and management have to deal with this kind of nonsense instead of their actual jobs. OP I think you do need to take a step back this is not that big of a deal.

Most definitely not for the sensitive.

OP - you really need to lighten up, get a sense of humour, and stop pestering HR with nonsense like this. 🙄

There's been a very steep increase in the number of people employed in HR in the UK since Covid. People like the OP are part of the reason. (DEI is the major culprit.) Understanding when you need to take specialist advice at work is an important part of being an effective employee. This is a little problem, best let go or addressed as I have already suggested.

Well I'm one of the 7% who thinks YANBU. Clearly an office kn** head who thinks he's funny but is really an insufferable bore. Unprofessional but I would be inclined to forget about it and move on. If it happened again I would be tempted to say that I didn't find it funny.

I bet your colleagues are glad retirement is on the horizon too...

I should imagine the joker is already aware she did not find it amusing.

Neighbouring countries have always made jokes about each other. Eg England/Scotland, India/Pakistan, NZ/Australia. It depends if you want to view it as affectionate rivalry or serious xenophobia. I am pretty low tolerance to serious prejudice, esp in the workplace, but would have just viewed this as a silly joke.

I expect the manager will say the right things. But deep down they will be sighing and wishing that the OP would just disappear!

This incident deserves an eye roll, not a formal process.

I really wouldn't be making India/Pakistan jokes given up to 2 million died during the India/Pakistan Partition we (the UK) initiated and u to 20 million displaced...

Lots of people have died in history. Probably better off steering clear of humour all together.

My family comes from one of those countries. And there is pretty affectionate ribbing of those countries from each other and Bangladesh.

I'm late to the thread but my God OP, you sound completely humourless and insufferable