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Wits end with lack of sleep due to 20m old - HELP!

51 replies

Hanw25 · 02/03/2026 18:00

Posting for traffic and out of desperation.

Our DS’s (20 months) sleep has never been good, but I’m now at the point where the deprivation is causing issues in my relationship with DH. Both of us are struggling to cope now, and DH is also suffering at work for it.

DS now outright refuses his cot, we previously did the cry it out method with some success, and because he couldn’t stand up, this worked well. He didn’t always stay the night in his cot, but we’d get a few hours sleep before he joined us.

Now, he either wakes as soon as we lower him into the cot (he falls asleep on us first, as he’d kick off if put in cot whilst awake), or after 10/15 mins. He stands up crying and shaking hysterically, won’t lie down, no matter if we try to settle or leave him for a while. On the occasions he settles in cot with me next to him and appears asleep, he wakes and cries as soon as I leave the room.

So he ends up in with us, wakes 2/3 times a night, and everyone suffers.

Any advice would be much appreciated. I feel like we’ve nothing left to try.

OP posts:
Londonrach1 · 04/03/2026 09:50

Get him into a toddler bed and out of the cot. Big it up he a big boy now. Let him choose new bedding etc. If he wakes you join him in his bed and wait until he falls asleep... repeat repeat...dont give in. It's hard but you get there. Hugs x

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