What's your upper age limit for having last baby

[Suburbiton63]

Just that really!
I am 37 would love one more (a third) but just don't think I can put my body through I again.

For me personally it was 30 but in different circumstances it would have been older than that.

No it’s not the same, it’s much more business class and five stars in your 50’s.

I had my first at 37 and second at 39, both healthy and easy pregnancies and births so I always thought I don’t want to push my luck, I wouldn’t have had any more from 40 upwards

@ForAmusedHazelQuoter Not always. I was far wealthier in my 20s than I am now (mid 40s). But also incredibly miserable. Money doesn't always equal happiness; it certainly didn't for me.
Honeymoon with first husband at 24 yrs old - an exclusive hotel on the island of Capri. Breakfast in bed every morning, incredibly luxurious really. By the end of the honeymoon I think I knew that our marriage was quite possibly not going to last (even though I was determined to work on it).
Honeymoon with second husband at 41 years old - an apartment in Birmingham for a long weekend (with great views of the city tbf) and also our 18 month-old daughter. Some of the happiest days of my life; I felt utterly adored and so very content.

It’s honestly not just as bad the other way, the sniping is a lot more personal and bitter.

Sentiments like you’ve made a wrong decision; and your life will never be fulfilling because you’ve missed out on the best years of your life changing nappies are fundamentally worse than being told you might be mistake for a grandma.

The latter is highly subjective for a start, not everyone cares why they look like, so it can be laughed off. Of course nobody looks the same at 21 and 40-50+, that happens to all of us, who cares?

The former can be very hurtful and demoralising.

It’s substantially more brutal if you gave birth as a teenager or young woman compared to 41-46.

To reiterate, I think it’s unpleasant to try and prod anyone and make them feel bad about their life choices, I just think the stigma and stereotypes are worse for younger women.

Had my first at 16 and completely agree with you. I also know a woman who had one at 17 and one at 40 (none in between) and she agrees too

It’s personal, isn’t it? And for a lot of people their ideal ‘cut off age’ may shift for reasons beyond their control.

My ‘cut off’ was 35. I had my children at 28 and 31, but I was lucky to have met my DH in my 20s, had no fertility issues and to be in a financial position that enabled it. Life doesn’t always work out that way, as we know.,

Hmm is there that much difference between a 21 year old mum who has been working and living independently for 4 or 5 years and a 26 year old mum who moved out of parents 2 years previously?

I'm not sure why the obsession with age but I'm glad I don't have a primary school aged kid at my age ( 54) I definitely have less tolerance for them then when I was younger

For me 32/33 but thats because last baby is my 5th. I cant do anymore and dont want anymore. Eldest is 16 and youngest is 9 months. The combination of a teen and a baby is something else

Personally if I already had two children I wouldn’t be rolling the dice again at 37.

I had my first two quite young (26 and 29) with my first husband - zero money worries and a very nice home. But...he saw the children as my responsibility as "a woman". It was bloody hard.
I had my last at 39 with my second husband. His first and last. Financially we are far less well-off. She is 5 now and whilst we're both knackered (he's 50), it's a million better with a supportive partner who is a great dad and shares the parental load equally.

I have four and was 33 when I had my youngest. I am 35 now and think I would struggle with energy levels now so I won’t be having any more (would secretly like to!)

My cut off was 30 and I was done prior to that.

The only people I’ll allow to judge me for it would be my own children.

But why wouldn’t I want as many years as possible with the people I love most.

30 was my cut off, I had two DC by 27.
My mum went through the menopause early so I knew if I definitely wanted to have DC it would need to be sooner rather than later.

I had mine at 36, 38 and 42. It wasn’t easy but I wouldn’t be without any of them!

@1990thatsme You've had four in two years?!!!

My mother was 19 when I was born. I was nearly 46 when DS was born We have both been very good parents. Its not all about age.

I disagree

Maybe for you it will be . I can’t see myself ever going business class . I wouldn’t be arsed throwing away money on that unless I was loaded .

That’s good for you. We all have different priorities and some people choose to prioritise having children to give them the best chance of having fit and active parents. Also the thought of having to raise a family whilst caring for your own aging parents is a little off putting.

we all have our own lives to live and place most importance on different things. You prioritised your freedom and travel and this poster prioritised having kids young enough that her life panned out how she wanted it to.

you don’t need to be condescending about it.

No, I had the youngest two years ago! Not the eldest!!!

You don't have adult children do you? It's a very different relationship from when they are tiny and need you.

Had my youngest at 30 , just shy of 31. Felt
Like the right time . Personal cut off would have been 33.
Understand peoples circa are different so some leeway is needed.
My own observation is that my mum was 34 when she had me. This was fine when I was younger , but all of a sudden , maybe when I was upper mid 20s , she seemed alot older (despite no specific health issues an being health concsious) and if I could choose I would rather she had had me nearer late 20s/ 30 to have had a little more energy and been a more active grandparent.

the first poster here was just as condescending!