What's your upper age limit for having last baby

[Suburbiton63]

Just that really!
I am 37 would love one more (a third) but just don't think I can put my body through I again.

I disagree I mean I dunno about in real life but certainly on mumsnet older mums get just as bad. Being told they are granny age , that their kids will be embarrassed of them , that they won’t be any help with grandchildren when they are older etc etc .

Yeah, its always so weird about that here The comments along the lines of OMG!OMG! What about when you are in your fifties and have a teenager, you'll just DIE of exhaustion!!

I am 62, DS is 16. I also work full time in a demanding job. I am just fine, have not disintegrated yet.

I don’t think older parents get scrutinised over their actual parenting like younger parents do. Lots of “I wouldn’t have been a good mother at 21” etc, quite loaded, quite accusatory, quite damning comments actually, whereas older parents tend to just get made fun of as opposed to having their parenting criticised. Neither is right of course, but I think the vitriol towards young people is harsher.

Everyone is different- I found my last pregnancy very tough at 38 but I already had three children, had had a miscarriage and my back was gone (from said three children lol!). My friend just had her first at 43 and it went great for her

I always figured it depends on you/ your own individual situation.

I have nearly 5 years between my two children. I was just 34 for my oldest. My youngest was born a day before my 39th birthday.

I was asked how it felt between the two, but honestly, my recovery after kid 2 was much smoother. I had some unexpected pregnancy complications with my oldest, and was super ill. I had two miscarriages in the six months before conceiving my second though.

My periods are still regular as clockwork. It is the financial cost that means we are not considering a third.

It’s just as bad the opposite way “I’d be embarrassed having a parent that age as a teenager “ etc . Really nasty stuff that there is no need for. I don’t see what’s wrong with someone saying they wouldn’t have made a good parent at 21 maybe they specifically wouldn’t have , that doesn’t mean everyone isn’t a good parent at that age.

Originally it was 30, but I didn’t meet my partner until I was 34. We had our first when I was 37 and said we were one and done, but when I was 38 we decided to have another. That one took nearly 2 years to conceive so I was actually 41 when I had him. It was a terrible pregnancy and I know my body couldn’t take another even though I would love one more. My first pregnancy was uneventful, I’m not sure why that one was so bad.

Firstly, because it’s a stupid thing to say, most women who get pregnant at 21 would do their upmost to be the best parent they could be. The ones who are not, likely wouldn’t have been a good parent at any age. No one here could say what kind of parent they would be at whatever age because unless you do it, you don’t know. But we know that for most of us, we step up to the plate when the time comes.

Secondly, you’re being really obtuse if you think saying someone looks embarrassing as a parent is worse or even the same as saying someone is a worse parent being younger.

Early 40s would be my limit. I’m 36 with four now and would love one more. I had my first when I was 21 so say I had another at 40, there would be a 19 year age gap.

.Someone could have been a drug addict at 21 and turn their life around and become a parent at 30 or whatever and say “I woudnt have been a good parent at 21” . What on earth has that got to do with your situation? If you are reading every comment about someone else’s choices and why they didn’t become a parent at your age as a judgement on you as a parent then that’s on you.

@harri7284 oh its not just comments about being embarrassing. It’s stuff like “it’s so selfish to have a baby after 35 it’s not fair on the kids etc etc”. It goes both ways that’s all I’m saying

Yes I’m sure all the women on here who say that to belittle the younger mothers are ex drug addicts.

I’m just saying what you said . You said it with no context . You are extremely sensitive.

You don’t need to try to make it personal, I don’t agree with your argument, it’s as simple as that.

well I don’t agree with yours . Look at any thread on this subject on this website. It’s about 80 percent older mums getting all the abuse

41 and 43 here. Both pregnancies fine. Easy recovery both times. Children are healthy in every way. They are 7 and 5 now. It's been a breeze! If you want to, then go for it!

I didn’t say they didn’t, I said if you look at the type of the abuse each get it’s usually harsher stating that younger parents are worse parents, being accused of looking like Granny at the school pick up is not comparable. You’re the one that pulled that out as the “really nasty stuff” example.

Perhaps if you had experience being a younger mother you’d understand the preconception and assumptions made on a young woman’s ability to parent.

I was 44 and had twins. Not my choice but through IVF...and we were utterly blessed and age has had no bearing x

look I’m not going to argue with you any further but older parents get just as bad here such as you are selfish , your kids are more likely to have problems and disabilities etc. not to mention how selfish we are for being too old to mind hypothetical grandchildren that may never exist .

If it’s your dream to have another and you can afford it then do it !
I had my third and last baby the week after I turned 44. (Conceived naturally) I have zero regrets !

Now really - 35. I have had 3 losses between my son and this pregnancy (currently 21 weeks pregnant!) so intended to be done by now. My mum was 35 when she had me and I don't feel like she was particularly old, or young (I was her 3rd). I wouldn't have wanted to be much older though. My mum is active and healthy, but not everyone is so lucky! On the other hand, my dad was 37 when he had me and I lost him when I was 27. He was young to pass though.

To be honest, if I'd got to 30 with no children, by that point I would have not wanted them anymore.

It’s a shame we can’t respect each others decisions !

I didn't start school runs until 49. 😁

DS will finish 6th form this year. I'll be 63. It hasn't been an issue at all. I genuinely don't understand why it would be an issue. Do people suddenly become incapable of normal life at 50? I still run, cycle, swim.

He'll head off to uni, and I'll retire. It works perfectly.

Being the best parent they could be (at the time) doesn't necessarily mean being the best version of a parent that they could be. In my family there are some young mothers who objectively weren't as good mothers as they could have been later (and a couple by their own admission). There are lots of people who make better or worse parents at any stage but parenting, like many things, might get better with experience. I have also seen some very young mums, and a few young dads, make a great job of things. But they were pretty mature. 21 year old me would not have been a good mum (not a drug addict, just a bit naive and wouldn't have put the baby first, wouldn't have researched much).