To think in the past people had more stoicism and resilience and it’s a shame we’ve sort of lost that?

[Carrotted]

Towards the end of the battle of Waterloo, the Marquess of Uxbridge, a British general, had part of his leg blown off by a French cannonball. He was sitting atop his horse next to the Duke of Wellington, to whom he turned and said “By God, sir, I think I’ve lost my leg”, to which the Duke of Wellington replied “By God, sir, so you have”. He then went to the field hospital where the remaining leg was amputated without anaesthetic, while he joked with the surgeons.

Thats one individual and the story is probably elaborated for effect, but AIBU to think people in previous generations tended to be more stoic in the face of adversity. To have a “get on with it” attitude?

There are obvious downsides to that attitude, but it can have lots of benefits to have that approach to life.

AIBU?

Poor women didn't wear corsets not did ffs

you should check out the historical facts......https://www.lancasterhistory.org/debunkingcorsetrymyths/

Dolly, that was a great post until you brought up the misgendering thing. Not everything is about trans people. Just leave them be for a bit?

However, your post made me cry because I think people forget that all those young men died in awful circumstances and we should remember them and stop black and white thinking that all men are awful and all women are saints.

Ohh that's harsh.

If you were a woman born in 1946 -
You lived with rationing until you were 8,
Your lived with slow painful dental treatment until your late teens (when the air drill came in and things got slightly better),
You were 24 before the equal pay act was passed,
You were 29 before the sex discrimination act was passed,
Also 29 before you could get a loan or mortgage without a man,
You were 36 before it became illegal to refuse you service in a pub because you were a woman,
You were 45 before rape in marriage became illegal.

Nobody gets an easy ride.

I think people used to just get on with mental health problens and now since the 2000s we've been encouraged to talk about them. Which is mostly really good but has also encouraged a tendancy to over-analyse and wallow.

gave up their freedom

Six years ago people had to stat home for a few months, with internet, TV, utilities, food fully available.

Some still blame this for their poor mental health.

Perfect illustration of the subject.
I'm with you OP.

Life's been too good for too long in developed countries, people completely lost basic understanding of resilience.

I'm aware that anxiety and resilience go hand in hand, that anxiety is normal, and that it's not in itself a sign of mental illness. My response was to the implication that the increase in mental illness in young people was a sign of their lower resilience, with a misleading reference to the book, The Anxious Generation, which is about much more than non-pathological anxiety.

My view is that young people are pushing through very significant difficulties with as much resilience as previous generations pushed through their own. More difficult to see these in the moment, but I think retrospectively we'll recognise this. I don't think there is evidence of generational differences in resilience, especially as resilience will have to take different forms depending on the form the adversity takes.

But there is plenty of bad feeling between generations, which threads like this only serve to fuel.

Indeed. I said so myself in the post you've quoted.

Being told every day that if they go outside they might kill their granny. And that this thing that was around in the air you can actually die of, as the death figures were quoted every day. It doesn't have to be big traumatic events, a drip drip effect of daily deliberately frightening messages can also be harmful.

Plus the fact many people did suffer bereavement and didn't get to be with their loved ones when they died.

Also I'll never know whether DD's struggles with secondary school were triggered by school closures and then schools being so weird when they opened for ages, without any of the fun stuff she would have enjoyed, or whether she would have struggled anyway. Their Y6 and Y7 experience still makes me so sad and angry when I think about it.

I'm born in the 70's. I think we are the last generation with any kind of backbone.

I grew up cold at times, hungry at times. Wore old hand me downs. Understood the value of things. Inspired by my parents, born in the 40's and my grandparents borns in the 10's, lots of occasions where you just had to 'man it up. and get on with things. First time I really remember was age 5 breaking my arm in two. Went to the hospital where I was marched away from my mum with strict instructions to my mum (which I heard) to come back in the morning. And that was that. Overnight stay in a ward with other chidren up to the age of 16 (which when youre 5 is old) and some very stern nurses. Can you imagine any mum of a 5 yr old doing that now! I was terrified. I remember taking deep breaths and reassurring myself it was all fine and Mum would be back in the morning, which she was. I was so proud of myself for not crying, I remember it clearly.

Mind you, age 5 I was also walking half a mile to school with other children my age and slightly older. Crossing one rather main road.

My Grandma lost her Dad and 3 of her siblings due to the Spanish Flu.. No benefits. No time to grieve. Her Mum simply had to crack on with things. I sadly never met her but she was an amazing lady by all tales and incredibly resilient. She actually used to say, 'worse things happen at sea'.

Today, we've got women who are simply having a tough time at work going off sick for months. I have absolutely kept my resilience and it's served me well in life. 9/10 people really do just need to pull their socks up and get on with it. You only get one life.

In my experience, the every generation thinks younger generations are not as good.

The world is constantly changing so therefore cultural expectations change too. “Keep calm and carry on” was probably a necessity in the war years but it isn’t now. Back then, it was not culturally acceptable to mention mental health problems but now it is.
Community ties were stronger in the past, which would have made it easier for people to be more resilient.

Each generation has different challenges. I don’t think there is any value in saying one generation is better than another. But they are different.

You can't honestly think that story is true?

Worked in mental health, in the couple of years before retiring noticed a massive increase in the “can’t cope “ brigade as opposed to an actual mental illness, according to colleagues who still do the job it’s got even worse since covid, resilience for many seems to have vanished

@MintDog you don't think it's an amazing coincidence that you are part of the very last generation to have any resilience? You don't think, I don't, millennials who endured the bombs and guns of '90s Belfast or Derry have maybe demonstrated resilience? Or were you only referring to the millienials/ gen z in your cul de sac?

@dizzydizzydizzy I totally agree, and I think @MintDog accidentally backs up your point.

I agree. Those I know in that age group are hard working and have resilience but don't put up with that sort of behaviour. There's a fine line between being stoic and strong and being a pushover for those who'll feed off your energy and effort for their own gain.

I had 7 months off sick a couple of years ago. I didn’t realise the solution was pulling my socks up!

Where do you get this shit from? Life especially for women was incredibly hard. They didn't have any of the rights you now have thanks to those women.

They really didn’t though they “had problems with their nerves”, “took to the bed”, “couldn’t cope really”, were “ mad”, were “difficult to live with”, were people “ooh with a very short fuse” were “away with the fairies”, “a bit funny in the head”, “getting strange ideas”

There were any number of euphemisms for depression; anxiety; paranoia; schizophrenia and all manner of psychological and psychiatric problems.

It's very depressing isn't it?

thanks to some of those women. Not all, by any stretch.

Of course the other point you are conveniently ignoring is that for those women, life was consistently getting better, the direction of travel was always in the right direction. That is no longer true for young women. And it is no longer true for young men either.

It would be if I took any notice of it.

⁸they didn't get paid for it though

So what would you like us to do about it? We just lived our lives the best way we could. It's not our fault if life is now difficult for people.
It's government's to blame for how bad things are now not pensioners.

Absolutely this!