To think in the past people had more stoicism and resilience and it’s a shame we’ve sort of lost that?

[Carrotted]

Towards the end of the battle of Waterloo, the Marquess of Uxbridge, a British general, had part of his leg blown off by a French cannonball. He was sitting atop his horse next to the Duke of Wellington, to whom he turned and said “By God, sir, I think I’ve lost my leg”, to which the Duke of Wellington replied “By God, sir, so you have”. He then went to the field hospital where the remaining leg was amputated without anaesthetic, while he joked with the surgeons.

Thats one individual and the story is probably elaborated for effect, but AIBU to think people in previous generations tended to be more stoic in the face of adversity. To have a “get on with it” attitude?

There are obvious downsides to that attitude, but it can have lots of benefits to have that approach to life.

AIBU?

YANBU - I agree with you.

I think it's a bit of a myth tbh. Lots of people were drugged up on valium to deal with the PTSD from WW2. I never met my maternal grandmother - she killed herself before I was born. As a teen, she'd lost her mother in the war, been bombed out... she'd never really recovered and I don't think she was ever quite right again by all accounts. Of course, those were the people who tended to get locked away and given electric shock therapy, as she was.

Barnado's did a roaring trade in toddlers and children, especially when new babies were born. Sometimes they were collected once they hit around five years old, too - as though it was normal for some to not be able to manage with children/new babies at the same time, but they'd sort of get better in a couple of years with some valium.

And then there were the clusters of asylums - some for men (and probably a lot of post war trauma in there), one for women, one for children and one for disabled children once they hit puberty - Epsom had West Park, Horton, Manor, St Ebbas and Long Grove. St Ebbas had the rather fetching name of the Ewell Epileptic Colony previously, Horton was used to test treatments on men with Syphilis, Long Grove imprisoned women with asymptomatic typhoid long after they were no longer infectious, amongst others, Manor had teenagers, West Park had everything. Same way Sutton/Cane Hill/Warlingham and Banstead had asylums. There were so many because there were so many in need and there was no support/shame felt in having a disabled child or suffering psychiatric conditions.

Here we go, more age discrimination.

A massive difference between men who were on the front line of a world war to what most people are experiencing now. It's not really comparable? And PTSD is a recognized condition, it's not a matter of being a bit resilient and you'll be fine
I'd hazard a guess though that the majority of those who were in the war were not "drugged up" after, (and nobody would blame them if they were) but if he interested in stas about this.

Why just everyone in London? I don't really understand what you're getting at.

The story is hyperbole verging in the ridiculous. But yes the next generation of young adults need to improve their work ethic and resilience. They really are a bunch of snowflakes and I wonder how our country will survive as this generation grows up

I agree to a large extent. Nowadays we've got people who think hurty words are violent, and others who are too anxious to speak on the phone or go on public transport. We're definitely softer than we were.

And people you don't like are now toxic and undesirable things trauma.

Well. I literally nearly died and only took 3 weeks off. I've been into work with broken limbs numerous times. Had a late miscarriage, wallowed for 9 weeks and then decided it wasn't doing anygood whatsoever for me, my family, my friends and it certainly wasn't bringing our baby back. Yes. Maybe I am more resilient than you and yes, maybe you needed to pull your socks or MAYBE you're the 1/10 I was saying wasn't in that camp. •defensivemuch. Thinking about it, the ony reason I could see me having 7 months off work is if I was in a coma seriously injured or if one of my children died. That's it.

You are inventing your figures. Just because in your experience 9/10 women need to pull their socks up, that doesn’t mean it is what happens generally. You cannot be off work for months on end without a sick note. Obviously there could be the odd person who manages to invent their symptoms and convince a doctor that they are genuine but I doubt this is as common as you are suggesting.

And no I obviously was not someone who needed to pull my socks up. I had a serious illness.

Very sorry to hear about your very bad health problems, though.

I think I have resilience....OK not in a war situation......but trust me....I put up with a lot (though not as much as others), and I'm still in my job that takes advantage, my relationship that takes advantage, with kids that literally want my blood and all my money. in a house that's falling apart, whilst living in a body that's constantly in a degree of pain. All whilst not strangling anyone.

But apparently that's just called being female 😂

When I was 17, I broke my leg at work during lunchtime. I was knocked down on a busy road. Without any fuss, I got the tube and bus home, then couldn't find my mum at the house, tracked her down to Tesco to tell her about it, then got another bus to the Southern General Hospital to get a plaster on it. That was the way of things in my time. You got on with it.
By the way, I lost my job because they wouldn't keep it open, and started another young lad the next morning.

It was reported at the time that the leg was recovered and buried with full military honours!

My late DM was of the "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" brigade.. I've been through some crap, violent ex h,who was also gay and hid it.. homeless several times because of him,lived in a battered wives refuge. Physically bullied at primary school, mentally and emotionally bullied in my last job. Survived the fire. Have been in 3 vehicle entrapments, none of which were caused by me. I'm very claustrophobic, collected my dgs this morning,I'm a white knuckled passenger!

Oh, I forgot, I worked in a nursing home, with a fractured wrist.. it fit hurt of course, like toothache. Went to my GP about something else, mentioned my wrist. He examined it sent me to hospital for an x-ray. Came out in POP to the elbow. Left handed,yup it was that one. I had a year old baby. DH had a week's compassionate leave that's all his work would allow..try changing a dirty nappy with one hand!!!

If we do unfavourably end up in WW111, there will be no choice

exactly this! "calmer and quieter" really? when multiple families shared the same house? When the entire street shared a single toilet? When a whole family shared a bed (if they were lucky!). And when did they have all this time to "walk in woods and cry?" before shortened working hours and legal bereavement leave and labour saving devices, at the same times as having (usually) far more children?

Forget rose 'tinted' specs, that poster is squinting through a whole bouquet!

Do please tell me what I've had handed to me. Just so I can put you right.

I think there’s a LOT of people about who think the world owes them a living and they’re not responsible in any shape or fashion for anything. And that any tiny bit of ‘bad luck’ that befalls them gives them some sort of inalienable right to act like a total cunt to everyone around them. Maybe I’m just jaded from having to work with the general public though!

Couldn't fuckinf agree more.
If we were involved in another World War there would be no winning it this time.
The togetherness has gone.
Resilience has gone.
Values have gone.
We would be screwed.

Boomer here, quite sick of the bile that's directed at my generation for being spoiled. I was the first in my family to go to University. Although we had free tuition and maintenance grants, it was not enough to live on and i worked in bars and hotels for extra cash as an undergrad. I then completed my masters and PhD whilst working full-time and paying my own fees.
Especially for women we had only just achieved equal pay (on paper, often not in practice).and sex discrimination in employment and sexual harassment was rife.
I'm still working full-time in my late 60's and am unpaid carer for husband with cancer. I bought my first home when mortgage rates were 15%, by having a lodger and not having holidays or nights out.
Entitled attitude is far more evident from people much younger than me, in my experience. I don't judge people by their demographic group.

Yes, I watched a guy on instagram yesterday, he was out in Dubai on holiday. He was filming himself in the hotel, whining and almost crying that there were bombs dropping all around him, that there were missiles and drones attacking them, that he’d been told to stay indoors (been given plenty of food and drink though), that his children were scared and crying (probably because he was such a big bloody wuss himself and frightening them).
He came across as pretty thick and not sensible at all. I’d have been embarrassed if my husband had been acting like that. Yes, I understand they were worried - I’d have been the same but at least stay calm and sensible for the children and try and think positively that they were being looked after.
He was utterly pathetic. The guy took the post down in the end I think, if men in the world wars had acted like that they’d have been shot.

Everyone will view this through their own lens - personal experience, anecdotes, which newspaper they read or programmes they watch etc. But we have to ask how we even measure stoicism and resilience in the first place, and in what context do we view it? Does one person have more than another? Does one group have more than another? How can we tell? I don’t think this question can be answered, but maybe a scientific study has been done and someone can point us to it?

There were always people like that. Trouble these days is that more people have a voice via social media and so it's just heard of a lot more. Back in the 80s I knew people like that, but they were only a tiny minority I happened to come across in real life, either in the workplace, or in the pub in an evening, etc. The introverted ones tended not to go out socialising, so I didn't know about them! With social media, there's much more awareness, much more "publicity" towards the quiet/introverted ones or those with extreme views. But in real life, I still don't see much of it - just like the 80s really.