Dh only asking Dd if she wants to go out and other annoying things

[Hopeshenevergrowsoutofbluey]

Just checking if it’s me or would this piss you off

At weekends, Dd wakes around 6.30/7 and heads downstairs, Dh is also an early riser, I sleep in sometimes until 8.30 ish. Dd is fine downstairs alone and enjoys being independent
Dh often complains he doesn’t get a lie in, when he can if he wants to but can’t lie in easily or sometimes will spend the afternoon sleeping.
I often come downstairs in the morning and he’s gone out leaving Dd, like just now.
Then he strolls in asking Dd if she wants to go somewhere today-nature place etc, not including/asking me, does anyone else find this odd? Even today Dd said ‘Mummy would like to go somewhere today’
Surely you make a decision as a family about plans etc and do things as a family?

What age is DD? have you spoke to him at all? I’m always a bit confused by couples when there is a glaring issue but don’t communicate.

Would having a chat on a Friday about a schedule for the weekend work? Is it just a communication stumble or do you feel he is deliberately excluding you and looking for arguments?

7

I don’t think he’s deliberately looking for arguments, but feel a bit shit that he seems to just want to go out with Dd and i’m left at home

Hard to say really , how old is DD? Why can’t he go out if she’s ok downstairs by herself and you’re in anyway if there’s a problem?

It's definitely not my experience, and it does seem odd. But do you ever get up a bit earlier and have breakfast with them on weekends?

But as previous poster said, you need to talk to your DH about why he does this.

Is he excluding you to 'punish' you for something?

Or does he usually act like he doesn't enjoy your company?

Maybe he thinks you would rather have a break for a few hrs? I think communication is the issue here

Usually on a Friday night dh and I will talk about plans for the weekend (if we don’t already have things booked in) and come up with plans. Some stuff involves both of us and whichever dc are about, some involves things just for us.
Perhaps you need to plan in advance to avoid what’s currently happening now?

I don't really understand what is happening here. Your husband asks your dd if she wants to do x,y or z and you just sit there quietly and say nothing even if you want to go too or want to do something else etc?

So do you not go on the outings? I think it’s normal to ask a kid what they want to do but me / DH would assume the other is included in the invite.

My DH does that. I think it started when I was on my knees with young kids and needed to rest. And now he asks me and the kids (directing it to kids and expecting me to say no). When it happens too much I say oii don’t you think we should agree first? And normally he gets significantly better. Nothing more dramatic than that

Surely this can be remedied by a simple conversation?

Also Agree with the PP who says dd is ok to stay downstairs alone.

He does this a lot-really annoying

I’m confused - is he suggesting you take dd out on your own?

Why not take part in the conversation rather than just sit there!

I don’t understand why you don’t assume you're included in the invite? You’re a family so why wouldn’t you all be going together? I think it’s fine to ask dd if she has a preference or any thoughts on what she might like to do, but you’re both the adults so if there’s something you need to do you can tell her that.

I also think it’s good he’s being proactive and asking what she’d like to do instead of just sitting round waiting for something to happen and wasting the weekend

I did, he came in and directed it straight to Dd, did she want to go with him to X place today, him and her

No that he and Dd go on their own

Because he means just him and her, this is what i’m saying. To me it’s normal to all do things together and to say shall we go to X place, all of us

Yes but what she’d like to do. I’d already asked Dd if we should all go to X place with Ddog and a picnic, It wouldn’t be just me and Dd doing this unless Dh was out/ill etc

I’m always the one making plans, v proactive. The thing is he’s only saying for him and her to go. It’s a nice day and I just want to be sat at home do I, it’s odd

You sound quite passive. So this morning between 6.30am when he and DD got up, allowing you to lie in, they’ve spent time downstairs together and he’s then gone out. You’ve come down to DD alone. Couldn’t you and DD decide on the plans for today, and extend the invitation to DH upon his return?

We had-as a family, then he walked in and asked Dd if he and her wanted to go to X place today