Very sad weekend

[Dickensian1234]

I didn't think this weekend could get worse but it has. 6am this morning my DH's phone rings. It was his mum, he couldn't understand her, as she has terrible mobile access. Then 10 minutes later another call. Froma policeman to say that my DH's dad had passed away this morning. It doesn't seem real as we saw him last week and had a great time for their 60th wedding anniversary. He was talking about a dog, his died last year.
The evening before was a ridiculous screaming match between me and my DH and my adult children. Turns out I have been taking photos of every bruise and he has been recording all of our phone calls.
Meanwhile, my wonderful adult DC are emptying what was the study and turned into a junk room. I am trying to stop them throwing a lot of stuff out so they have banished me . It was supposed to be a quick visit to throw stuff in the skip and just catch up. Everyone ended screaming at everyone else last night , and the phone call this morning ( FIL has been unwell) but even with that they have to keep his body for a week at the hospital as it is an unexplained death so the coroner has to make a ruling.
My kids convinced me to go to rehab last night and I will but I will spend the whole time terrified that my DH and my 28yo ( not his son) will kill each other.
Life is fecked

DH won't be home for a few days at least. Can anyone keep me company?

What bruises ? What recordings ? Why would husband and son be fighting? Who and why is someone going to rehab ? Sorry, I can't understand what is going on. But hope you're OK
Sorry to read about your FIL, everybody needs to come together at this sad time.

It seems there’s quite a lot to unpack here and I’m afraid it’s not easy to understand.
Bruises, recordings…. And rehab?? Do you have an alcohol problem? Are you getting any support for it, if so?

It's too hard to explain. But one of my DS and I need to go to rehab. He inherited my addictive personality sadly.
I had no idea my DH was recording me.
I always have so many bruises, but I get ignored because I am an alcoholic. I've had so many trips to hospital. They scan me and say I'm ok, then I go home.

Are you safe, OP?
Are the bruises from falls or is someone hurting you?

Also confused about the bruisings, recordings, rehab, why everyone’s screaming at everyone else about clearing out a study? Why will you’d husband and son kill each other?

So sorry to hear about your FIL. Sounds like he was in his 80s and ill?

Are your kids still at home with you? When are you going to rehab?

If it's all arranged then take all the help you are needing. You can do it. As long as you are safe.

Is your DH hurting you? Are you safe?

Oh sweetheart. This is the most important thing out of all of this. Get help. Show your son you can both do it.

@Dickensian1234 I think maybe have a cup of tea and go to sleep. Look at things again in the morning

No I have spent my life since I was 23yo and had my first child looking after others. For example my then husband when he became a brain-damaged quadraplegic after a terrible accident took a good ten years out of my life, so I understand grief better than most. You picked the wrong person to be horrible to there. Get back in the gutter.

I'd say your DC are trying to help by throwing stuff out. It is frustrating and upsetting for DC to see their DM hoarding. I know it's hard for you also.

Why is your husband recording you? Are you abusive to him or anyone else when you are drinking?
Why are you taking pictures of every bruise? Who/what cause them?
Is the study in your home? Why are your adult children taking it over?

It's difficult to know how to respond because these things you've given as examples aren't clear. I take it you were very drunk and fighting with upur DH and then kids? Then you were convinced to go to rehab?
If you need it, then go. No shame in that.

No I wasn't very drunk but he had recorded me when I was. I'm happy to go to rehab but I don't trust me 28yo and my 2nd DH from not assaulting each other. They are both ( though unrelated) very volatile people.
The study is in my home and now can be an emergency spare bedroom, I'll try and post a photo.

Thank you to those who have sent kind Pmsgs

Well you didn't quite say that @Dickensian1234 and I still don't understand the rehab experience you mentioned
I had potential to be in the gutter but I'm not, neither am I horrible. How about you?

MY

I am assuming you have liver problems, which are causing the bruising? Not sure why you took photos without knowing? Alcohol addiction is ruining your lives, so grab all the help you can. We only get one life, so make it the best you can.
it sounds as though things are pretty chaotic.
You can change this and make things better. All the very best.

@Dickensian1234 you son, 28, needs to move out. It would be better for all of you.
If you husband is volatile maybe you shouldn't be with him.

I still son't understand the bruises and the recording.

Room after and skip bin ( 10 times the stuff in the photo)

I don't know what joy you are getting out of a person at their lowest ebb but I guess everyone is different. And I am definitely not horrible. Ask my best friend of 50 years or my 10 best mates of 40 years. Please leave me alone.

Go to rehab OP. Whether your son does or not. You won't be able to tackle anything else in your life unless you get off the drink.

That's my plan, but now I don't know how long my DH will have to stay with his mum.It's just a train wreck, and my poor DH and DMIL are going to need me for the next few weeks at least. Ridiculously, I am extremely competent and can get stuff done. Just not my own stuff, everybody elses is a breeze.

Are you drinking just now op ?