My DH has been brainwashed by tick tock conspiracies

[Stressymessymum]

It’s a bit long but I’m unsure how to deal with this behaviour.

during lockdown my DH ( previously was never into anything like this. was very normal, works in a hospital) fell into a habit of listening to conspiracy podcasts - he thought it was interesting and I didn’t think much of it. This hobby has carried on but increased and the last 3 months his behaviour is really off.

examples

No longer wants to vaccinate our children (oldest 2 are fully vaccinated, baby has had newborn jabs but not one year yet)

wants to home educate because he believes the schools are full of paedophiles and other kids ‘shed’ vaccinations. He doesn’t actually want to do any home ed. I think it’s something called unschooling but we both work full time. I’ve asked him for a plan on how he thinks it will work and he can’t tell me.

won’t let children socialise outside of school. Has removed them from clubs (for the same reasons as above.

wont socialise with vaccinated people (included our families)

wont drink Tap water. Baths in bottled water

refusing to pay council tax as it’s a made up scam (I do pay this 😂)

believes NASA/ moon landing/ 911/ holocaust ( and a long list of other things) is made up

That’s just the tip of the iceberg really…

I’ve tried to talk to him about it but he gets really angry and starts ranting.

who on earth do i talk to about this? I know he’s allowed his own beliefs but he’s dragging our children into it and the way it’s escalated I’m a bit scared xx

It does sound a bit like OCD to me too. The more you go along with it, the more the compulsions are reinforced in their mind. Absolutely correct decision to leave. I feel bad for your DH if he's mentally unwell, but perhaps you can get in touch with the GP and let them know what's going on and ask them to call him or something?

For your kids, try to explain it in terms of "daddy's brain sometimes makes him worried about things that aren't true" rather than "daddy is ill/brain doesn't work". Kids worry about illness, and don't understand what "brain doesn't work" means.

Oh I am so sorry - does he believe in Terrarians and Free Energy Theory as well? It's batshit crazy stuff. Not sure that he can be dragged out of it - I had a housesitter last year that went off on all this and literally NONE of his family will talk to him any more - he wasn't even invited to his daughter's wedding. Sadly, if he continues down this path, I would say you are going to have to leave, even though that is a truly awful position to put yourself in. Wishing you loads of love - so hard.

I don't drink tap water either as I have a distiller. Emptying out the ghastly stuff that's left behind is vomit inducing.

@Stressymessymum maybe tell him about the microplastics in bottled water to stop him spending so much money on it.

You are right to separate but you need him to leave the family home so you can get your life sorted.

I really feel for you. My brother completely believes in most of the things you have listed, to the point where it’s ripped our family apart.
he was such a happy go lucky & fun person to be around before Covid & then everything changed after he met a girl online who took an interest in conspiracy theories.
They are still together now, we both had children around the same time & it was so stressful being constantly judged by them & their unhinged ways.
Nothing will help them see reason, so sorry you’re going through this.

Divorce.

Which in itself is insane! If you really, honestly thought there were dangers from normal water then surely you'd insist your dc were bathed in it too, even if you couldn't make your wife? And if you could only afford enough for one person you'd prioritise them and the impact on their health over yours (again, not that there is any, but if hypothetically it was something else slightly less crazy!)

I would call the crisis team back with this information. Weed is known to trigger schizophrenia . Not saying that is what this is but it needs ruling out.

how old is he? It’s less common to trigger psychological issues post 25

Don’t let him treat your children like this. You might be able to tolerate this but why should they have to put up with it.

I'm sorry but I haven't the time to read all the 178 messages (& counting). I can only reiterate what PP have said, but your DP needs help as this isn't normal behaviour & obviously he has serious mental health problems.

I can only hope that you are able to go somewhere to keep you & your children safe & that he gets the help that he needs.

Good luck OP

Vaccines can cause serious damage in a few people - as can all medications. The question is whether the benefit from taking the vaccine/medication outweighs the risk incurred. If it does, then overall it is better to take them than not. But it’s all statistics and probability - if you are one of the ones who suffered, then it would have been better for you not to take it. Unfortunately there is usually no way of knowing in advance who will suffer the rare effects.

If you recall, it was found that there were rare cases of blood clots caused by the Astra Zeneca vaccine, after which it was limited to older people, because the benefits outweighed the risks (was it over 30’s) which it did not in younger adults.

But that is a world away from the view that vaccines are damaging to everybody - much less that they are being peddled deliberately to reduce the population, as some said. As for vaccine shedding - I freely admit I have not looked into it. My instinct, though, is to assume it’s the invention of a fevered imagination. If science demonstrates vaccine shedding, I will change my view.

My brother and his partner are the same. We have kids the same age and they haven’t got them vaccinated. They live near the measles outbreak 😩 my youngest is 9 months so we don’t see them as I’m not risking him getting measles. Unfortunately my mum shares the same beliefs as them. Recently my best friend who has always been very liberal, is educated, kind, has gone down this route too. I blame tik tok and twitter.
if my partner started believing this crap I would get the major ick and leave him.

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Op I've just read your updates- it sounds like he could be bordering toward psychosis. The 'content' of psychosis often tends to take on concerns of the current moment.

He doesn’t drink raw milk does he? That’s a big sign someone one is brainwashed.

Just because the US President is a massive arsehole, doesn't mean astronauts didn't successfully land on the moon or that the earth is flat. There is abundant, irrefutable scientific evidence that these 'theories' are false.

Leave. It’s the only thing to do.

Some people are predisposed to mental health issues and cannabis can be the trigger. Unfortunately, through work, I’ve seen several people suffer cannabis induced psychosis. He should be more worried about that than tap water. Can you do something legally so he can’t take the children from school? Prohibited steps order?

Well done op. Mental illness is so difficult and it’s so hard to get help, you’ve protected your children.

@ValidPistachioI know, but it prolongs the 'discussion' ..cant change their minds..and the constant 'it's all being revealed, we are being lied to' rhetoric is wearing!

I’ve known loads of people with those beliefs. Many living incredibly successful lives. I’m not sure some of the lifestyle stuff is as crazy as it looks. (Though the racist beliefs are a worry) Thing is, the only people who can afford to live this way are rich hippies. So if you aren’t rich, he’ll work it out it’s practically impossible pretty quickly

I wish it were all just inadequates looking for a place to shine but this stuff drags under plenty of people with good jobs, friends, families, & all the other indicators of success. I have a friend who went down the conspiracy rabbithole following a series of horrific bereavements & spent about 4 years completely out to lunch. He's more or less back to normal now but some people go too deep, become enmeshed with other conspiracy victims who reinforce their mad beliefs, & can't find their way back out. It's like losing someone to a cult, you can keep open lines of communication but you can't drag them out of it against their will.

And yes, there's plenty of it on TikTok - & all the other big platforms. Watch a few vids about space exploration on YouTube & you'll soon be offered moon landing conspiracy theories & loonytunes twaddle about aliens building this or that ancient structure. All the algos favour extremity.

It sounds like he has mental health problems OP and needs medical help.

Agree - I think you should contact ACT.

It may well be weed induced psychosis, but his earlier underlying radicalisation won't go away easily. https://actearly.uk/ Conspiracist narratives do cause harm in the real world, as you're finding out.

Glad his family are so supportive of you.

Honestly OP I think he may well need sectioned

He is a danger to your kids you need to get him away from them. It is so terrifying how many people this is happening too.