My DH has been brainwashed by tick tock conspiracies

[Stressymessymum]

It’s a bit long but I’m unsure how to deal with this behaviour.

during lockdown my DH ( previously was never into anything like this. was very normal, works in a hospital) fell into a habit of listening to conspiracy podcasts - he thought it was interesting and I didn’t think much of it. This hobby has carried on but increased and the last 3 months his behaviour is really off.

examples

No longer wants to vaccinate our children (oldest 2 are fully vaccinated, baby has had newborn jabs but not one year yet)

wants to home educate because he believes the schools are full of paedophiles and other kids ‘shed’ vaccinations. He doesn’t actually want to do any home ed. I think it’s something called unschooling but we both work full time. I’ve asked him for a plan on how he thinks it will work and he can’t tell me.

won’t let children socialise outside of school. Has removed them from clubs (for the same reasons as above.

wont socialise with vaccinated people (included our families)

wont drink Tap water. Baths in bottled water

refusing to pay council tax as it’s a made up scam (I do pay this 😂)

believes NASA/ moon landing/ 911/ holocaust ( and a long list of other things) is made up

That’s just the tip of the iceberg really…

I’ve tried to talk to him about it but he gets really angry and starts ranting.

who on earth do i talk to about this? I know he’s allowed his own beliefs but he’s dragging our children into it and the way it’s escalated I’m a bit scared xx

"I didn't believe my husband, but then I allowed myself to be radicalised by the same content and now I do"
Derpdederpdederp

He works in a hospital! Please please tell me it’s not in a medical role!

Weed is definitely paranoia inducing

OP - the weed has a massive role to play here. Unfortunately some people are very sensitive to THC and it can bring on mild to severe psychosis. Add to even a mild psychosis strong tiktok influence and you've got a perfect storm. I think staying away is wise. Getting him help if you so choose should be on mental health basis and linked to psychosis, not just his views. I've seen first hand how the same amount of weed can give one person the munchies and giggles and another a horrible experience followed by weeks of Depersonalisation and Derealisation. I'd say this is where your husband Is heading... if he's not a danger to you or himself or others you could Leave him be and remove yourself. If you want to take this on and help him its going to be very tough - MH . Possibly addiction, the lot. Read up on effects of THC on some and what that unlocks. Educate yourself . This isn't just conspiracy theories - it's the weed as a door opening ... irrational thinking and rewiring your brain. It's frightening if you look into it. One poster earlier up mentioned similar. It happens... Good luck

It’s a rotten situation for you OP, but please know that you’ve done absolutely the right thing by leaving and getting DC
away from him. You’re not alone, divorces and issues with child arrangements are not unheard of for this type of behaviour. It IS damaging to DC because it’s not just an “opinion” - they’re strange, unfounded beliefs which bring into question the gullibility/critical thinking skills/intellect/judgement of the person holding them. And when a person holds these views they are unlikely to quietly go about their usual lives - they tend to be a vocal proselytiser, ‘challenging’ disbelievers, trying to convert them - and it affects many aspects of their lives (like the strange behaviour of bathing in bottled water). As others posters have said, there are many similarities with being sucked into a cult.

Im my experience it’s usually, but not always, woman divorcing men who have developed this mindset. It does end marriages, even long previously happy ones. And people
do end up not having much or even any contact with their DC because it would be damaging to them. I don’t think I’ve ever seen or heard of a case where the ‘conspiracy parent’ has said “Oh, yes, this is all a bit much and not great for DC - I’ll
calm it down a bit”. What happens when a parent is SO entrenched is that they either shout that the system is corrupt and it’s all part of a much wider cover up to stop people like them, who know the truth, from speaking out - which feeds into and reinforces their delusions - or they give up and don’t seem really bothered about the DC because they’re not part of the skewed mindset and accompanying lifestyle.

It is sad. But I would mentally and practically prepare yourself to walk away from him and end the marriage.

I have zero tolerance for conspiracy theorists. Most people with half a brain cell can find out that a lot of these theories are spread by right wing groups with an agenda.
You’ve done the right thing.
Other than a lack of brain cells, the paranoia side of it can begin with mental health issues, but a lot of it starts with listening to bs on the Internet/ friends and not fact checking or asking yourself why on earth you think you’re so interesting that the government would want to track you 24/7 with a microchip. Or considering just how many people would need to be involved in these conspiracies for them to work 😆.

I internet-know someone who had similar. He was like it before the pandemic, I lost touch (we were in a group that I left) but I assume he got worse because she posted a couple of things about leaving and setting up solo. She's so lovely. She met someone else and her family seem to be doing really well, and I'm glad. It's the slow creep and then the blast... It's really sad. The problem is once people are in really deep, even if they realise it there's a whole sunk cost element, they have to admit to all the harm they caused and the time lost to it.

he is very relieved, he is very conscious that we’ve all been shedding vaccines around the home so doesn’t mind that we’ve left. Was quite happy about it.

What a shame it didn't occur to him to move himself out rather than you & the kids having to.

Sorry Queen I must have replied before reading properly, different scenario. However I do have an old friend who was really affected after covid, she and her husband home ed their kids (we did home ed, no hate there) but they barely leave the house because they're afraid of covid. They've gone way in the opposite direction, but just as extreme. Both intelligent individuals, I was at uni with them. The mum has a scientific background and I wonder sometimes whether she suffered from the fallacy of that master of one type of science, therefore an expert in them all thing. It's worrying that so many are vulnerable to this kind of thinking.

This is serious shit op !
Honestly you need to leave him ! Your poor kids.
He sounds like he lost any concept of reality .
bathes in bottled water who does he think he is . Wow
Get the kids back in to clubs .

Right? When I was a kid we lived near to a lot of industry. My Dad once told me as a teen that he heard a huge bang in the night, he thought a plant had exploded and his first thought was oh my god I have to get the kids out and away. He almost woke us all up and shoved us in the car. It was fine, of course, and we slept through it blissfully unaware, but I remember suddenly thinking, woah, my dad would protect me no matter what. This guy is clearly lost in his own world, no thought for others.

You mentioned he works in the medical field depending on what he does you may need to report this to his boss if he could pose a risk to others.

Is the long term plan to stay at your parents for good ? Have you left your dh and how do you feel about this ?

It definitely sounds like you have done the right thing .

It's the weed.

It messes with people mental health. And can unfortunately cause permanent mental health issues.

So it isn't just a case of stopping smoking the week.

He may now be left with long term symptoms of psychosis that he may need lifelong medication for.

The hard part will be persuading him to agree to have a mental health review.

Because u less he is really far gone and a danger to himself the mental health teams probably won't do much at his current level or mental health.

They might need to wait til he's much worse.

My BIL became like this. Started reading incel content online too and became aggressive. My SIL had to make him leave.

I know all about pure O as that is the type I have.

To me this doesn't sound like OCD as there is a strong element of psychosis and delusions in the OP's husband's behaviour. These are not typical for OCD at all. It also doesn't sound like he is very anxious at all but rather he just has very strong delusional beliefs.

There is also the fact that his symptoms started after he began smoking weed regularly, which lends itself to drug-induced psychosis (very common with weed smokers) rather than OCD.

It's not just people with low IQs that fall victim to this kind of thing. Yes, it makes them seem very stupid but they may not have started out that way.

But it really does make people seem ‘very stupid’. Extremely stupid.

I was seeing a man who was exceptionally bright, but the conspiracy theories killed any attraction.

Oh my goodness. He really is having a mental illness episode, isn’t he?!

I hope you get all the help and support you need, OP. I really feel for you xxx

I’ve already posted to this thread, so forgive me for posting again but it’s a subject I’m interested in.

It’s curious to me that conspiracy theorists always mention ‘they’, or ‘the government’ and are never more specific than this. It’s as though they have a very shaky or half-understood grasp of the theories they are espousing.

When I think of ‘the government’ I think of Oxbridge PPE graduates: fairly worldly, well-educated people in the main. When I catch PMQs or Question Time, I don’t see a load of flat earthers / chemtrailers / climate-change deniers.

So I often scratch my head in puzzlement at who ‘they’ / ‘the government’ refers to. The deep state, perhaps? The advisory / research agencies? Maybe those of is on the outside of these theories cannot understand. But if this is true, then I suspect this is because the people who sign up to the theories also don’t really understand what they are talking about.

I think that we have to conclude that this post is written by an agent of the deep state to flush out those of us who are finding out the truth.

Haha! 😜
What is ‘the deep state’?

Talk of conspiracy theories always reminds me of the joke about the conspiracy theorist who dies, and arrives at the gates of Heaven.

He's met by God Almighty himself, who asks if the man has any questions.

The man thinks for a while and asks: “Was the moon landing faked?”

God says: “No, it wasn’t.”

The man shakes his head, and says to himself: “This cover-up goes higher than I thought.”

i think part of the problem is some times and only some, the conspaircy person is correct

basically groups of powerful leaders, etc