Schools ask too much of families - AIBU?

[historyinthemaking]

My DS is aged 8 and in Year 4. Every week they upload homework and what’s coming up on Google Classroom. When they uploaded this week, I couldn’t believe the sheer amount of stuff being asked of families.

i know every dynamic is different, but for us, me and my DH work full time Mon-fri (PIL do school pickups) and we collect our DS from his DGP’s between 5 and 6pm. His bedtime is from 8.30-9pm. We get 2.5hrs with our DS in the evening (which needs to incorporate feeding & bathing too) and the homework just seems so excessive for an 8 year old! Nevermind the extra curricular activities he does too, like swimming on a Wednesday and football on a Friday.

And then there’s the sheer amount of money the school looks for, sponsor this and sponsor that, themed days, raffles, charity!

my best friend has 2 children at the same school (Y4 and Y3) and she’s also a full time working single mum (and she’s part time studying) and she said she simply doesn’t do all the homework because she physically can’t - not for 2 children.

Are all schools the same? Or is my son’s school the odd one out? I’ve started thinking I should skip some of the homework too just so I can actually spend quality time with my DS instead.

I think school is asking too much of us. AIBU?

Mini blondes yr 4 does ttrs (maths) spelling and reading each night. We do 5 mins on each. Sure anyone can find 15mins

I know some of her friends don’t do it’s say too much / don’t have the time - tho they will then watch tv /ipad for an hour

Reading spelling and practising times tables every day are totally standard for year 4 and every school will be asking this.

They do seem to have a lot of events coming up but it is clearly a religious school and it is lent so….

You're not being unreasonable. My children are in y3 and y6 at a school without any homework requirements. DD has sats in may and we do a page of maths and English each night from the cgp book, purely out of choice to prepare her. No one has asked if we're doing anything.
Son has ADHD and would really struggle with homework, in fact he needs total mental divide between school and home. I encourage reading for 15 mins before I turn off the light, that's it. They're on track or exceeding in some areas and our school has an Ofsted rating of outstanding.

It's a choice on the part of the school and they can't make it compulsory. What are the consequences of just not doing it? I can almost guarantee there won't be educational consequences!

Can you forward links to DGPs to do some of this? They might be pleased to have some structure to the afternoon?

Can GPS do some regular homework with him? The reading book, spellings and maths are probably good ones to outsource.

We have access to ttrs and the only time they do it is when waiting for the other siblings swimming lesson! They are also not on an iPad instead. TV sometimes... It's not the same! It's their leisure time which is fair enough.

Nah I hate homework set like that.

I support what the school is teaching through games and things on the weekend, but I'm not making small kids go to school for 6 hours a day and then do more at home as well.

And I do let them chill out and watch TV to decompress after school, as they should be doing at that age.

The school has just accepted it thankfully.

I was all ready to say that you weren’t unreasonable but the homework doesn’t look that much and looks similar to what my Year 2 has to do. We spend no more than 15 mins on homework in the week, apart from reading of course.

As for the events, I wish our school was that organised. We tend to get such last minute notifications which is a pain.

I have a child in Special Education and the amount expected of me is insane..I mean all the IDPs MDTs etc before you even get to " normal " engagement I know it's a lot for my kid in mainstream too but that calmed down in High school and she can handle the homework by herself thank god.

YABU and so is your friend. Does your friend know she doesn't have to do the homework? It is her children's homework.

Your child could actually do aome of theirs while at their grandparents.

These basics just need to be reinforced at home and it is kids that do this that perform well at school in the end. There are stats that show what they do at the younger age feeds into how well they do throughout their education.

Your child's bedtime is a good hour to an hour and a half after mine used to go when that age. You have chosen to add in extracurricular so it is up to you to time manage those.

It's similar to my yr4 for a week. They have an English sheet and a maths sheet, ttrs, reading. He does some extra clubs so has drum practice and French on top. Plus we've started a bit of 11+ stuff. We normally do it on a Saturday morning and don't do very much in the week.

That seems like a minimal amount of homework for yr 4.

we did spelling words and time tables during the commute to school. Reading happens anyway. None of it is anything many parents wouldn’t do anyway, even without the school directive. The school is just providing the focus on particular words or numbers.

The homework doesn’t seem too onerous, but the number of events seems excessive. IMO it’s too time consuming for families to sort out bonnets, cash donations, raffle tickets, book day…etc. Surely a couple of events would suffice?
I dislike asking friends and family to buy tickets/sponsor events etc and would rather send in £x per term and for school to stop bothering me.
surely this is all a giant pain for the teachers too?

That seems an awful lot.

we have no homework at primary school where I am, but obviously children are encouraged to read for a bit every night.

A lot of parents like their children to get homework and also like schools to run extra enrichment events like World Book Day etc
The enrichments are generally optional (you can just turn up in school uniform instead of joining in). All the enrichments are done for the benefit of the children - it’s yet more stuff for teachers to have to organise.

Fund raising is just part and parcel of going through school - schools can’t survive without the extra money (well I suppose they can, but there will no added extras like play equipment etc).

Teachers aren’t generally a fan of homework - it’s more stuff for them to prepare and to mark, it adds nothing to teachers who already know what the child is capable of. Homework is usually given because parents have asked for it.

Our junior school doesn't set homework. They have a school book and access to TTRS and a spellings app but they aren't mandated, nothing other than reading prompts is ever mentioned by the school.

can I ask what TTRS is? Quite a few posters have mentioned it?

My children (yr 6, 4 and R) don't have homework, I'm very grateful. They read every night and it's encouraged to practice times tables but not expected.

There is a list of optional 'tasks' they can do each term related to their topics if they want to, but again if they don't do any of it no one says a thing.

I understand the pressure schools are under but I think primary school children shouldn't have homework.

Homework seems pretty standard tbh. I’ve got a y5 child with loads more and my y2 child is expected to do reading every day, spelling practice and a maths homework per week.

The secret for this stuff is using dead time efficiently. We do tables on the walk to school or try to fit in as much as possible if one child is waiting around for another for activities. You can get them to learn stuff in the car for example (eg the song lyrics).

Times tables rock stars.

there is a times tables test in year 4. Many schools but a subscription to ttrs and get the children to practice on that.

Spelling, reading, and multiplication are pretty standard. I'd encourage any child to read before bed anyway (I spend 20+ mins reading to my toddler at night already), as it's good for them. Introduce reading for pleasure, or have a bit of a family book club where you all read a chapter every few days then chat about it. There's no reason you can't do things like times tables over tea if you're busy. When you're sat down, ask them to show you how good they are at their 3 times table or etc. Or you start it then pretend you don't know and get them to fill in.

Also it's the child's homework. You don't need to be involved in all of it unless they're stuck. And again there's no reason you can't practise spelling ad hoc. 'we're going to football now, can you tell me how we spell football?'.

The amount of events does seem excessive, and does put pressure on working parents in terms of time and money.

And I agree generally about homework, but basic numeracy, spelling, and reading, are some of the most essential life skills you will learn. It's important to practice and they can easily be added to your daily routine. I agree that homework for children that age shouldn't really amount to more than a very short period per day. They are children and the focus should be on play, other activities, seeing friends, relaxing etc, but your school isn't asking them to do 60 mins of complicated maths or whatever.

I would outright refuse to be doing communion homework lol but I am not religious. I presume your child is at a religious school and therefore maybe it's part of your daily routine anyway, but if not, they can't really make you do this one, and if not religious, I'd drop it with 0 guilt.

Times tables can be practised while driving home. They aren’t expecting hours a night, just do some skip counting or quick fire sums for that one.

at first glance it does look like a lot but it doesn’t have to be loads, they just want a little extra support. You har your kids 1:1 ish in the evening for 2.5 hours. They have 6 hours but will have upwards of 30 children to teach!

I don't think the homework itself is too much, though I don't understand the 'skills' bit. Practicing the song and timetables can be done when they're in the bath, while your driving somewhere, at the dinner table etc. a bit of reading should be standard.

What struck me though was the sheer number of 'days'. Obviously there's world book day, but why then bright colours on Friday, and then crazy hair day the following week, then some other rubbish before Easter. DD school isn't anything like this tbh

An 8-year-old should be completing their own homework. So he needs to read every day (either at grandparents or before bed?), practice his spellings and practice his times tables. Your role is to encourage him and celebrate when he has done it. And maybe do some casual practice with him when you can fit it in. All of this homework will help him.

The communion homework is to say a prayer before meals - presumably this is something you agree with or he would not be out forward for communion.

No idea what the skills homework is about. It's so open-ended that I'd be tempted to encourage him to just write Tuesday in massive letters and refuse to explain more 😂

There are a lot of events. It doesn't seem they're unreasonably pressuring you to attend/buy tickets/make elaborate costumes though

You’re being unreasonable. The homework is daily reading, some spellings, some multiplication tables and, what looks like, a monthly extra task. If you can’t be bothered to do this with your kids, that’s your choice, but these are basics and are a few minutes a day. The rest of the things are religious expectations from a Catholic school. You chose a Catholic school, so you can’t complain about that (unless you happen to be in the very unusual situation of a Catholic school being your only local school, of course). Even then, the expectation is that they say grace before each meal, which seems like a very minor task for an 8 year old.

There are a reasonable number of events, especially given it’s Lent/Easter - the most significant event of the Christian year. I guess it looks overwhelming when it’s presented in a list like this, but then parents complain when it’s drip fed in a bunch of separate emails or left to the last minute. The school can’t win on that one.