Schools ask too much of families - AIBU?

[historyinthemaking]

My DS is aged 8 and in Year 4. Every week they upload homework and what’s coming up on Google Classroom. When they uploaded this week, I couldn’t believe the sheer amount of stuff being asked of families.

i know every dynamic is different, but for us, me and my DH work full time Mon-fri (PIL do school pickups) and we collect our DS from his DGP’s between 5 and 6pm. His bedtime is from 8.30-9pm. We get 2.5hrs with our DS in the evening (which needs to incorporate feeding & bathing too) and the homework just seems so excessive for an 8 year old! Nevermind the extra curricular activities he does too, like swimming on a Wednesday and football on a Friday.

And then there’s the sheer amount of money the school looks for, sponsor this and sponsor that, themed days, raffles, charity!

my best friend has 2 children at the same school (Y4 and Y3) and she’s also a full time working single mum (and she’s part time studying) and she said she simply doesn’t do all the homework because she physically can’t - not for 2 children.

Are all schools the same? Or is my son’s school the odd one out? I’ve started thinking I should skip some of the homework too just so I can actually spend quality time with my DS instead.

I think school is asking too much of us. AIBU?

Surely things like maths, spellings, reading could be done in the car or at the GPs house before you collect them?

DD1 is in year 1, we have a daily reading book (she reads after dinner or at bedtime to her sister), daily maths tasks on an app (she does each morning on the way to school in the car), weekly spellings for a test every Friday (we practise up to 5 times a week) and at the weekend she will then have a homework task connected to a current topic.

My DC’s attend a catholic school.

DD1 - yr5 has a double sided A4 sheet of maths on whichever subject they’re learning currently, then 10 words to use in sentences which they write in a workbook and have a spelling test on in the week. They’re also encouraged to read 3 x a week but mine enjoy reading for pleasure so it’s nearly every night. Homework is handed out on a Friday to be in by the following Thursday. It’s done on a Sunday afternoon/early evening and takes her around 30 mins to complete both tasks.

DD2 - yr2 has one worksheet either maths or English and 3 reads a week but again we read most nights. Homework done on a Sunday and takes her around 15 mins on her own.

I think your events is ridiculous, our school is strictly catholic and don’t have any of these events coming up during Lent. There are some masses at school parents can attend if they want to and there is world book day and that’s it. If your school do parent surveys I’d put that down as feedback, that the events are too much.

I’m totally against primary school homework. Is there research which shows it has no bearing on later academic success? Let children play and relax after a long day at school. Even it just a short piece of homework, it still means it’s something that needs doing.

If I was a primary head, I would implement a no homework policy. If parents complained they can set their own or use a workbook.

My son is in year 2 and has a sheet every week - sort between 6 and 10 spellings into their categories (i.e.. words with ew, u or y) and write them, then use these words in at least 2 sentences (there's often a grammar focus here too, like use conjunctions or think about a question, etc), then he has between 6 and 15 words to spell/write from memory 3 times each. Plus reading at least twice a week..sometimes there's a maths task too (like use coins to show different amounts, basic number bonds, etc.) so...yours doesn't look huge.

Lord no, it’s too much for an 8 year old. My 8 year old (Y3) has reading 5 times a week, spelling to practice (in theory) and they ask them to do times tables rock stars when they can (not weekly).

We try to do the reading most weeks. We do TTRS as and when (he really likes it but we don’t do it weekly). I almost never do spellings because they don’t consistently send them home and I can’t be arsed to chase it.

Even my dd in top sets in Y8 doesn’t have this many different things to do each week. For her, it’s about an hour of reading (we do it all on one day), maybe an hour each of maths and science.

Dh and I both have big professional careers and a lot of education. I have a PhD and am an academic. I don’t push homework. My teacher friends don’t do all the homework (including when it’s homework they set themselves!). Kids shouldn’t be spending all afternoon and evening playing Fortnite. But there are so many better and more enriching things to be doing than homework. We do those first. At primary level, we do homework if we get around to it. When we do, I focus on the areas where they need to build confidence and ignore the rest. That’s worked really well so far.

How much of it has to be signed off by an adult who has watched/listened to it been completed? If it all does, then yes it's too much. If most of it is just stuff for the children to get on with, I would have thought a child without learning difficulties in year 4 would be able to do a lot of that, quickly, with no support maybe even in childcare.

Our school its reading, spellings, TTRS, weekly there's an english grammar sheet & a maths thing.

My DC y4 would read loads anyway so i don't count that as homework. We do spellings & ttrs in the morning, only 5mins each, DC does music practise in mornings too.

The maths & English sheet we do on weekend.

I'm a teacher and mum of 3 primary age kids. Mine do reading and spelling and that's it. They can access TTRockstars if they want to but it's their choice. Your child's school sounds overly demanding and excessive. I wouldn't be able to keep up!

4 kids in 4 schools.

my secondary 2 have a lot of homework. Usually 3-4 pieces a night. All of it online as well.

But my primary school 2 children. Both schools don’t do homework. You get reading every night. But both schools don’t practice homework. Each school has a weekly newsletter with a challenge in it. But it’s optional.

It’s easier if you incorporate things into routine/make them habit. Things like spelling, maths and singing can be done anywhere - we did those in the car, while DS was in the bath, pottering about while I was making tea….

reading done in bed before lights out.

I respectfully disagree. Homework should be done independently on the whole. Yes, if they need help then of course that is parenting. But it’s not your homework, it’s theirs. They need to be able to organise their time independently. Otherwise it’s helicopter parenting.
I also disagree with homework before secondary school to be honest.
For what it’s worth, I’m a total girly swot with all of the A grades and a PhD. I wouldn’t have been so academically successful had someone been holding my hand through my homework. I needed grit and determination to persevere through it myself. My parents weren’t there in any exams and they’re not l at my workplace either.

I set my dc extra homework as they only got about an hour per week in total apart from reading. Whoever is providing care after school can help with homework, my friend is a childminder and she has all her school she’s kids doing their homework.

I was exhausted just reading all that OP! I am soo glad primary school days are behind me. All the things to remember to do and the constant money.

Plus we have gym 3 times a week after school and still manage homework of 5 mins each in the hour we have between getting home after school and going to gym - obv have tea as well and I work nights

so it is possible - no one is saying to spend hours on it , it sure everyone can find 5 mins

it is important to do homework more so once they go to secondary school and have to do it how will they cope if. Or used to doing something

Time tables rock stars

aka maths

https://play.ttrockstars.com/auth

a lot of schools use it

fun games to help learn times tables

and more important in yr 4 as they have upcoming Government statutory Multiplication Tables Check that all Year 4 children sit.

we even had an email about it today

Get the grandparents involved. They can listen to DC read and practice times tables all in less than 30mins.

Break the tasks up and like previous suggestions, use the time in the car effectively. Your DC can read aloud or call out times tables whilst you drive.

For the longer-term pieces (e.g February question) just get it done the day or weekend it is set otherwise it ends up another task on a busy to do list. Again, the GPs can oversee your DC writing their response as long as they know the task.

It’s 15 mins. Not an hour

5 mins each on maths (ttrs does 5min games) reading and spelling

It’s pretty standard but I do feel your pain with all the school events. But at least you get a good heads up. God I remember the plenty of last minute dashes to Asda to find a fucking world book day outfit at 10pm the night before.

I think you needs to ask your in-laws to cover a lot of stuff off before you pick up.

I worked full time but had a nanny and I would get home at 6pm to 2 children who had done their homework, had their evening meal and most of the time had been bathed too. So I could just spend quality time with them then read a bedtime story together.

Completely agree with you. They have long enough days (yes partially on us for being full time working parents and therefore using wraparound care) without then being asked to do more school work in their chill time.

and the number of events!!!! At least your school seems to summarise them nicely. We get random notifications with little to no notice. At least two requests per half term to be in school during the school day when I should be working. I don’t want to miss these things for me personally and for my child but it’s all a lot.

I never did the homework for first school (up to Year 4) but we do reading without fail every night. Eldest is now at middle school and the homework is required but is basically a set of online English and Maths questions with a week to complete so very easy to fit in.
I would say if you don't do anything else then do reading, it is so important.

The research shows low impact in regards to primary school homework, and that shorter more structured tasks recapping the days learning are more effective then the set daily homework. The old quality over quantity argument.

You can parent and be involved on your child's education without this homework malarkey. We like to get involved with their education but we tend to do it in ways that are fun, such as a trip out somewhere if they are learning about a certain place or something or going to the shop with them and encouraging them to work out money etc.

My DC have never had daily homework at primary school. The only thing we've done daily is reading at bedtime, which we would do regardless and DC pick books of interest to them.

DD8 gets spellings and a few maths questions once a week which takes no more than 10-15min, and can do TTRS if she wants but it's not required.

When DS was in Y6 they used to get homework once a week consisting of 30 maths questions, some SPAG, and a reading comprehension (usually a piece from a previous SAT paper). This was more involved and could take up to an hour altogether.

And just to add, both DC have done very well at primary school so I'm not sure additional homework would be beneficial.

I'm sure the kids get more from after school activities than they do just doing their homework. Extras curriculars help prepare children for the real world sometimes more than the curriculum!

The worry is that the school curriculum is so crowded that they just don't have time to spend on times tables or the type of spelling that does require some rote learning. If parents don't make some time for their kids to do some times tables at home it can really hold them back in maths in later years.