Schools ask too much of families - AIBU?

[historyinthemaking]

My DS is aged 8 and in Year 4. Every week they upload homework and what’s coming up on Google Classroom. When they uploaded this week, I couldn’t believe the sheer amount of stuff being asked of families.

i know every dynamic is different, but for us, me and my DH work full time Mon-fri (PIL do school pickups) and we collect our DS from his DGP’s between 5 and 6pm. His bedtime is from 8.30-9pm. We get 2.5hrs with our DS in the evening (which needs to incorporate feeding & bathing too) and the homework just seems so excessive for an 8 year old! Nevermind the extra curricular activities he does too, like swimming on a Wednesday and football on a Friday.

And then there’s the sheer amount of money the school looks for, sponsor this and sponsor that, themed days, raffles, charity!

my best friend has 2 children at the same school (Y4 and Y3) and she’s also a full time working single mum (and she’s part time studying) and she said she simply doesn’t do all the homework because she physically can’t - not for 2 children.

Are all schools the same? Or is my son’s school the odd one out? I’ve started thinking I should skip some of the homework too just so I can actually spend quality time with my DS instead.

I think school is asking too much of us. AIBU?

I’m a recently retired primary school teacher and we were damned if we did/ damned if we didn’t set lots of homework. Saying that, the expectation at your child’s school is insane!
I notice it’s a Catholic school too-we were always under incredible external pressure to do lots of fundraising during Lent from the diocese and local Catholic charities. I’m all for alms giving but it was way too much for many families.

The homework doesn't take very long and it can be a good habit to get into.

All payments to school are optional so just don't pay them.

I opt my p4 out of homework. The time is better used doing things they don’t get in school like swimming lesson, music lesson, getting outdoors, being creative and actually just relaxing in front of the tv sometimes . School have them 6 hours a day, they don’t need to be doing more school at home.

It’s called parenting. Yes you need to make time for your children’s education.

Multiple governments have screwed schools financially. If you can give the school some cash then of course you should. Why wouldn’t you? Surely you want the kids to have books and felt pens and stuff in the class room just like you do at home? If you can’t afford it then chat to them and tell them you’re struggling so can’t help.

From one full time working parent to another.

I think the reading, spelling and maths is pretty standard. To songs and praying at dinner isn't but if it's a religious school perhaps is normal for those kinds of school. I imagine the skills is normal but does seem a bit much to me.

Frankly , I’m just impressed that whoever wrote that sheet knows the correct usage of practise/practice.

This doesn’t look like a lot, and is similar to what my Y2 does.

Reading, spelling, times tables - all done daily.

looks like a lot of events added on, we get ours on the school newsletter weekly.

Ks1 home work is reading and spelling daily.
Ks2 as above plus an online maths. They see who does the maths as they have to log on the app on a tablet whoever does the most earns ' extra golden time'

As for events we have loads !
Each child has a celebration assembly each term- parents attend 2.30pm
Each child has A class assembly each term ( like a mini show) - parents attend 2.30pm
3 themed raffles a year , 1 per term , Chocolate, bottle and gifts - take the item to wear non uniform
Crazy hair £2 donation
Children in need £1 donation- wear yellow or spots
Red nose day. £2 and wear pjs
World book day.
1 non uniform a term for £2 donation.
Bonnet competition £2 entry
Cake sale each term take a donation / buy after school
Xmas party - take food plus £1 for party bag
Xmas and summer disco £4 entry plus tuck shop
Summer family picnic for each year group / multiple kids = multiple picnics
Oh and sports days for each key stage is separate.

And often they throw in other things. Next week one dc is baking and they want a £1 contribution

Now it's a lot to remember , a pain as it's cash only and all the expense for the things to donate if people don't have it at home for raffles.
Plus the time off work for most.

Oh and Once a term they do a parents tea and biscuits at 10am

I still have 2 dcs at school so it's a lot to attend im lucky as I can make it all as wfh ( except the tea mornings , not my thing) and dh also can

Homework in primary is optional.

we opted out - no time after collecting from after school club at 6pm, get home,cook dinner, some downtime before bed. Any free time was given to swimming and music classes.

Oh and anti bullying week wear odd socks. Free

Mine go to a RC school but they don't have that many events coming up. Just world book day AFAIK. I think yours do a lot of fun clothing days in a short period of time - is it always like that?

With homework, ours have to do Maths, English and times tables every day and read three times a week, plus a bit of written work for the older one. I find it just about manageable but I finish work in time for school pick up so only need to do homework and extra curricular activities with them.

My kids' school has a lot of fetes, bingo nights, discos etc etc and my kids don't often want to go but they're outside school hours anyway, so optional. I do not like it when the school tries to push kids into going to those things. I don't give into that. It is for fundraising I understand, but there has been the odd time they've done a bit of a hard sell which I don't really approve of.

It’s all so school dependant. It’s actually very unfair to our children how different schools are - some do much more than others, don’t they.

My dc is in year four and only gets homework on Friday - a SPAG test-type sheet and some maths problems set up on an online platform.
He has never brought home actual spelling words list. I have to research/ buy workbooks to make sure I support with that and I have to get him to do something not set up by his teachers (much harder To get him to do it).

We also have very few sponsorship requests as the school is not in a well-off area - many parents just ignore them, I guess. We even had school trips cancelled due to lack of payments from parents.

And it’s a secular school so none of the extra to-do’s with regards to that.

The events seem very excessive, and definitely more than my son's primary school and more than the first school I work at. Reading, times tables and spellings is all standard stuff. Couldn't your children's grandparents help them with some of this after school? Listening to a child read for 10 minutes is easy. Practicing times tables or spellings for 10 minutes each isn't much either.

My advice would be to concentrate on the basics... reading, spellings and times tables. Do remember that the older your children become, the more homework they will receive and it will be expected to be completed. If you don't ensure homework is completed at this stage, by the time your children start secondary school it will come really really hard to them, to suddenly HAVE to do homework. Otherwise it will be detention after detention, until they learn the hard way.

Also family quiz and bingo night's 1 summer one Xmas £5 per family went to one and it was chaotic and loud dcs hated it most kids were bored and wanted the tuck shop / cake stand and 2nd hand toy stand

Honestly - I don’t think they are asking much. Spellings, reading and times tables really are the bare minimum. It doesn’t seem much beyond that. Surely you can ask the grandparents to help, even if they just did spellings and/or times tables.
schools can’t really win - I know parents who would moan that what you are being given isn’t nearly enough.

I would far rather my children watched tv for one hour than spent that one free hour doing homework after a day of school. Particularly at 8 years old.

I don't think the homework is unreasonable - spellings, timetables and reading is 15-20 minutes a day. He's got 5 hours between school pick up and bedtime, what's he doing with that time? He could get it done with a grandparent or while the dinner is cooking. You're arguably in a better position than those us using after school club, trying to squeeze in TTRS and spellings while they're waiting for their swim session and cajoling a 5yo to do their reading at the same time - that's my Thursday evening btw.

Our school has a couple of big fundraiser and the odd dress up day but I do the bare minimum for that, something I can quick put together from dress up clothes and Id rather shove £10 in the collection tin than break a sweat making some cupcakes for the bake sale.

I think organising homework is a good habit for children to get into and I always felt it was 'quality time' spent with my DC. Could the PIL perhaps help, if they're doing pick ups? I don't expect the school will have serious consequences if you don't do it.

I don’t think that’s a lot of homework AT ALL, it’s less than my DS gets every week and he’s in year 2! At 8 years of age he can definitely do this independently. He just needs to read his reading book at bedtime, practise his spellings daily and go on times table rockstars daily really. Plus one written task which he has a week to complete. It really isn’t much.

I agree OP. It’s got silly. Possibly because teachers (I’m a retired one) are pressured to set lots and their bosses monitor what’s set and received/marked online. You should definitely raise with school/governors if it’s preventing good quality family life. Overwork seems to be the norm for everyone now and then we wonder why everyone is tired and stressed. I think keeping up with some maths and reading for half an hour is more than enough and then building good revision skills prior to GCSEs is plenty. Kids and teachers would perform better in the classroom if there wasn’t so much homework.

I am not a fan of homework and research does not support any benefits of it at primary school level. I am very thankful that we have a school that does not set homework as a rule. There are spellings but you don't have to practice them, they do suggest your child reads every day but again if they don't there are no consequences. Now my child is in year 6 they are starting to set one piece every week to get them used to having homework when they go to secondary but it's a very short piece of work. If it's too much or causing issues I'd speak with the school and look at their homework.policy. As far as I am aware there is no legal requirement for it at primary. When my eldest was at primary I told them that we would not do homework unless my child wanted to.as they were at school long enough. Never caused them any issues, they did homework.at secondary and were very high achievers academically.

Surely the spelling, reading and timetables are standard - you won't be doing your DC any favours if you opt out of those. And the others don't seem onerous - some singing can be done on the way to an activity, the mass and day discussion can happen at dinner time. It's worrying that posters are saying this is too much - I'd think this is normal support for a primary school child's learning.

I agree. It's their free time, they are at school for over 6 hours.

That’s insane! My kid is year 5 and gets a sheet of spellings on Friday and the occasional project - less than 4 per year! I’d fuck a lot of it off of I were you OP x

I have two yr 3s and am at work 7:30-6:30 Tues-Weds. Monday evening is scouts and Friday evening is karate. Bedtime is 7:30. Weekend is strictly family time.

We have a nanny 3 days a week and she does the spelling, reading and times tables with them, otherwise no way could I do it. No way at all.

I detest this level of school involvement.