Schools ask too much of families - AIBU?

[historyinthemaking]

My DS is aged 8 and in Year 4. Every week they upload homework and what’s coming up on Google Classroom. When they uploaded this week, I couldn’t believe the sheer amount of stuff being asked of families.

i know every dynamic is different, but for us, me and my DH work full time Mon-fri (PIL do school pickups) and we collect our DS from his DGP’s between 5 and 6pm. His bedtime is from 8.30-9pm. We get 2.5hrs with our DS in the evening (which needs to incorporate feeding & bathing too) and the homework just seems so excessive for an 8 year old! Nevermind the extra curricular activities he does too, like swimming on a Wednesday and football on a Friday.

And then there’s the sheer amount of money the school looks for, sponsor this and sponsor that, themed days, raffles, charity!

my best friend has 2 children at the same school (Y4 and Y3) and she’s also a full time working single mum (and she’s part time studying) and she said she simply doesn’t do all the homework because she physically can’t - not for 2 children.

Are all schools the same? Or is my son’s school the odd one out? I’ve started thinking I should skip some of the homework too just so I can actually spend quality time with my DS instead.

I think school is asking too much of us. AIBU?

YANBU. I really wish the DoE moved with the times and realised that parents now more than ever just cannot keep up with all the homework and extra stuff. They should work that in to the curriculum, reduce a few holidays by a few days here and there then, add an extra hour to the day etc.

Homework is pointless in primary except for reading, spellings and times tables and that’s not every thing every night!
The whole, pj day, then crazy hair day then something else within a few days is ridiculous.
Id be ignoring at least half of the homework and requests for money. It’s terrible though as you don’t want your DCs missing out on anything.
I think I’d be seeking out the PTA to see what’s going on!

God your "things to remember" reads like a parody. 2 back to back none uniform days is a lot! Ours goes a bit mad at xmas but not all year long

Some of that we do in the car, song lyrics, times tables etc, ds reads every night anyway, so that's not really homework for him. Spellings could he do at PIL? The project thing is the only thing that's a big task how often do they get those? Could it be done on a Sunday morning?

…. My happiest day if the week is one I don’t have any homework.

Just do what you can fit in. Prioritise the reading daily, as that’s actually beneficial. Your child will not be harmed by not doing the rest….

If parents don't want to support even basic it's no wonder are kids are getting dumber - Since records have been kept on cognitive development in the late 1800s, Gen Z is now officially the first group to ever score lower than the generation before them, declining in attention, memory, reading and math skills, problem-solving abilities, and overall IQ.

We struggle with homework for two reasons:

1. it’s online, on the schools communication app. This is set up on my phone. I don’t want them staring at my phone to do it. The screen is also too small.

paper homework sheets would work better for us.

2. it’s all very well saying “anyone can find 15 minutes”. If it was me, yes. But kids who are tired and overstimulated, no.

They do a lot of extra curriculars and they need time to decompress in between. They just can’t be pushed into doing homework when they are really not in th mood.

They read for pleasure, they watch Newsround, they are constantly writing letters to each other and other people / writing out itineraries etc. They are both doing fine at maths.

I would like more homework to happen but this is where we are right now.

I can't stand homework in primary. Reading or one other thing like spelling or maths fine but multiple every night is too much then some project every flipping weekend. If you have after school clubs (wrap around care or extra curricular) by the time you've done that, tea, baths, and god forbid you might some family time, times tight as it is.

Couldn’t possibly be that gen z missed about a year and a half of schooling including missing exams during the pandemic.

I would say the maths, spellings and reading are pretty standard. The events are ridiculous though, my children’s schools do a lot of the same. It seems like I need to be remembering some sort of event all the time not to mention the cost for the different outfits etc.

That could be a contributing factor yes, but then we'd expect to see a turn around - yet things are getting worse each year - with something like 40% of school starters not being ready - and it's hard to blame covid lockdowns for that.

Time tables, reading and spelling sounds fine. Ask gp to do a bit with him, I'm sure they'd be happy to help @historyinthemaking .For all the rest, especially the "special days" it sounds a bit ott. And it all falls on the mums ofcourse 🙄

I do t mind the homework or paying money, it’s the endless things to remember and the expectation that I’ll whip up a world book day outfit etc that drives me mad.

Tomorrow is ‘wear something purple day’ and donate money to LGBT Youth Scotland, a charity whose employees are now serving time for paedophilia. WTF?

We just had reading. My kids have been in school all day and wraparound. Fitting much more in is hard. They need downtime and time with us.

we do natural practice though like telling the time and they love to write and draw so we correct spelling and practice that way.

i do wish they’d done more in year 6 though to get ready for secondary

Reading spellings and timetables I think are a given?
Homework does seem that much extra in top of these?

Spellings and timetables can be practiced in the car or on the walk to school, it doesn’t always have to be at desk.
I sometimes get my DS to practice tricky words (year 1) while in the bath and make it a game.

Things to remember are useful, I know Christmas at my son’s school always seems a lot so perhaps a more busy period this your particular school?

YANBU but my y4 child has the same amount - I try my best to keep up with it all but some weeks things slip. She’s not finding TTs easy (maths is her weakest subject, she’s a behind on maths but working beyond in reading and writing) so that’s battle every single evening

I absolutely agree with this.

Longer days and no homework except reading for the win.

It does seem unfair to me that some areas have different school systems, and the ones with the parents who do the most with them end up getting into the "better" schools. Even where I live, where there's no grammars, the parents who do most of the stuff with them say they end up getting their kids into the top sets, and some talk about getting tutoring really young because they're worried their kids will end up in the lower sets and not get the best teachers/get more disruptive classes etc. A lot of parents ask the schools for work, so maybe that's why for the academic bit.

Ds is year 6, spellings 4x per week, reading 4 x per week. Times tables 4x per week . Sometimes there’s a piece of maths and there’s a topic piece per week. It takes around 15 minutes per night. And about an hour for the topic piece.

I am not sure this is as much as you make it out to be. Let's say 10 mins of reading, 5 mins going over times tables, and 5 mins doing spellings verbally. It doesn't have to all be in one go. It will also give you a sense of what your kid is struggling with. If there is a particular times table they know very well, then you don't need to keep revising that. Or you could alternate, spellings one day, times table the next. And the reading is a must anyway.
You can play games to revise the spellings and times tables. Five Minute Mum had a book with some suggestions I used when my kids were younger.

The events list is mind boggling but the homework seems not very much at all.

Move to a non-religious school.

Totally agree

PowerPoint presentation for a nine year old??

Teacher emailed just now, can six parents send in a bowl and whisks? Cooking workshop tomorrow apparently 🙂‍↕️

Best one was me volunteering, I got to the event and they basically didn't need me. Asked one teacher, can I leave, I think I'm surplus to requirements? Yes, she said. A week later the teacher who organised the event told me off for leaving early?!?!?

That is a bonkers list! DD went to a hothouse prep (we kind of chose it accidentally not realising what we were getting into) and with the exception of the end of year 6, when they lost the plot a bit, it wasn't as intense as that.

I realise it's Scottish vernacular but the "wee box" did make me chuckle. My classroom will NOT be getting one of those.

All this unnecessary rubbish just drives the gender pay gap.

Just wait until secondary - then you’ll have your work cut out believe me 😂