Am I overreacting to this teacher’s comment?

[queenkettricken]

I’ll start by saying that I’m a teacher myself -primary. My daughter is in year 7 at high school and today her personal development teacher was talking about stereotypes. He mentioned the stereotype that English women go abroad on holiday, get really drunk and sleep with lots of men.

I’m shocked by the reference to sleeping with lots of people and want to email the school but honestly don’t know if I’m overreacting. I teach in UKS2 and cannot imagine touching on this subject even at the very end of year 6.

Should I accept that this is high school and that stuff like this is ok? Or am I right to be shocked that my 11 year is being exposed to this.

I teach pshe and stereotypes. We might discuss things like this but we would always try to unpick it in terms of what is wrong with the stereotype. And I wouldn’t suggest that as a stereotype to that age-muc more appropriate to talk about stereotypes of teenagers! I would complain tbh.

This is outrageous. No YANBU.

I’d be contacting that school and sharpish. The stereotype is humorous - but inappropriate for a grown-ass teacher in a position of authority, demanding respect, to say that to 11 year old children.

Its also misogynistic!

this is a sexist stereotype. It’s why it feels so wrong to me. If he had said ‘British people go on holiday and do all that’ it wouldn’t feel so wrong to me.

He was suggesting it as a stereotype, not saying that it's true! Presumably it was in the context of saying stereotypes are false and damaging. Misogynistic stereotypes, racist ones, ageist ones, it's important that children can identify these, surely, so they don't accept them as truth?

I would have zero problem with this. Is it the mention of sex that bothers you? She is in secondary school, she knows about sex. (Or should do).

Or the fact that he named an offensive stereotype of a group to which you (perhaps) belong? And you would have preferred him to use an example of a group that doesn't include you?

If I received a complaint about the use of this example I would be utterly mystified.

”This is a sexist stereotype” @Haggisfish3 - yes, it’s about stereotypes. If it provokes outrage, comments that it’s sexist or unfair, then it is a good example of why stereotypes are damaging.

What stereotypes do you think are ok as examples then? And why are they more ok than this one?

It’s not humorous , if he said that at my company and someone reported to HR he’d be fired

Thank you so much for the quick replies. I think I will email in. It really doesn’t feel appropriate and as one poster pointed out, it feels like there’s a sexist and misogynistic undertone to it.

Lol! Is there any chance your daughter has exaggerated what was said?? I can't imagine any teacher saying that!

You're being very naive.

Teacher here.

The whole point is that stereotypes are wrong and judgemental. I'm sure the teacher will have explored that in the lesson. Taking a soundbite from a lesson in isolation is never really a good idea. Out of context yiu can make anything sound awful.

Also
surely the point that she's being provocative to make kids challenge.

I always imagine there are two moments a year you can contact school. Is this the most important?

I wasn’t aware it was a stereotype .
you can’t just say something misogynistic and sexist about women and say it’s a stereotype. No it’s just him making nasty comments about women.
its like someone saying “ a stereotype is saying all male teachers are gay and paedophiles”
it’s not a stereotype , it’s just making offensive comments and framing it as talking about stereotypes!

Absolutely no chance that she’s exaggerated. She’s very sensible and was just quite surprised by what he said. She really doesn’t want me to email in and has just been crying about it, which makes it really hard!

Why bring sex into it while talking to 12 year olds. No need at all, he could have left it at drunk British tourist surely?

Are you going to email in with allegations that the teacher said it and query, or have you absolutely decided this is exactly what happened? Would you be happy to be investigated because a pupils parent said “my child said their teacher @queenkettricken said X” and school said “well of course course she did!!”

Email this (to the teacher not her boss )
i wonder if we can have a chat about something Mary said happened in PHSE last week?

He also teaches her for a core subject and she is really worried about him getting into trouble and him not liking her from now on. She’s not listening to my reassurances.

Ofc your child is the one who never lies

Seems they're everywhere 🙄

There's definitely a chance she's exaggerated, even if she's a perfect angel child.

She's probably shitting herself now that this is going to become a huge deal!

Men shouldn't make jokes about about sex to 11 year old girls.

Edited to to add the n't I left out

It's a clumsy, ill-thought-through (possibly not thought through) example but it is a stereotype that I guess exist(ed) in the early noughties, I'd say. He's a bit out of date (aren't most young women now teetotaling gym goers?) and his audience is too young for the comment agreed, but it's not something to be outraged about in my opinion. I think he is saying that it is sexist, otherwise he wouldn't call it a stereotype.

If I were you I would email a note of concern - it's inappropriate for the age group (and it was probably just an example that came to mind without prior thought). A manager reminding him of the constant need to think things through in teaching is probably needed.

Never lies..... Now crying about it....

Really OP I'd leave it. Think about the number of things you coild have said today that sound bad out of context. I can think of plenty.

Fondly remember the complaint for drawing a "penis" on the board that was actually a graph sketch and the kid wasn't listening.