Am I overreacting to this teacher’s comment?

[queenkettricken]

I’ll start by saying that I’m a teacher myself -primary. My daughter is in year 7 at high school and today her personal development teacher was talking about stereotypes. He mentioned the stereotype that English women go abroad on holiday, get really drunk and sleep with lots of men.

I’m shocked by the reference to sleeping with lots of people and want to email the school but honestly don’t know if I’m overreacting. I teach in UKS2 and cannot imagine touching on this subject even at the very end of year 6.

Should I accept that this is high school and that stuff like this is ok? Or am I right to be shocked that my 11 year is being exposed to this.

If you do email, don't email his boss fgs. Why make more trouble for someone!

Yeah definitely make formal complaints to the regulators and do everything you possibly can to get him sacked and ruin his life..🙄

Have you asked her why she’s crying? Surely you won’t be the only parent raising merry hell about this teacher?

Even very sensible children get carried away and lie or exaggerate sometimes. I would email in if you are concerned, but just to her teacher and ask to have a chat about it. Find out the story from both sides.

As a teacher, I know all about the sort of bother children can sometimes get themselves into through misunderstanding or even deliberately misinterpreting what has happened. My child included. I would say that I’m firmly on the side of cutting the teacher some slack normally as we are all only human. I’m definitely not one to be contacting the school. However, this just feels a bit off. I’ll be honest though- the replies saying that I’m being naive etc are making me pause

It’s an example of if a stereotype many stereotypes are untrue
wouldn’t bother me you need examples to discuss

Sleep on it OP, everything is heightened now.

Good advice. I will, and see how I feel about it tomorrow.

Well in that case I wouldn't complain- put your childs wellbeing 1st IMO

I actually think this is excellent teaching, its shocking which is why people pay attention and remember.

She’s sensitive and doesn’t want to get into trouble for ‘telling’. I honestly don’t think she’s exaggerating. She can sometimes get like this because she’s a real worrier.

Perhaps she hasn't realised the full context of what he was saying though. She might not be exaggerating what he said. She may be (unintentionally) only quoting that part of a sentence/explanation and not the rest.

Not sure I would bother complaining particularly as she is upset at the thought. I do however think the mentioning of sex to a room of 11 year olds is a bit odd though, particularly as that’s not a known stereotype. Surely more appropriate examples would be things like “all brits drink too much abroad” or if referring to sexist stereotypes, “all women are bad drivers” which are things people actually say?

Teacher too - done primary & secondary.
Not age appropriate or in fact appropriate at all.

This is about him. 100% needs to be reported.

I can’t imagine if I went abroad without my children for a holiday then they go to school and hear something like this.

I do a bit of year 7 PD as a non-specialist in a secondary school. My common sense and basic professionalism would prevent a stupid comment like that from coming out of my mouth. It’s appalling.

I think it's absolutely fucking rank a male teacher or any educator would say those things.

And for what reason? Completely out of any suitable context I'm presuming?

So he thinks women go on holiday and sleep with lots of men?

'Well thanks for that Mr Misogyny. Fascinating insight into your prejudices there. And what the fuck has it got to do with my 12 year old daughter's 'personal development'?

Definitely complain.

We can all make mistakes! Let's not be so quick to judge someone.

He's clearly using it as a stereotype, not his opinion. It was a stereotype in the early 2000s particularly single women 18-30. Perhaps the teacher said this was a stereotype foreign people held about British women and then explored why it was wrong and how harmful stereotypes are.

Reading posts like this I can see why teachers are leaving the profession.

Your daughter doesn't want you to email, so just leave it. Honestly I would have been mortified if my parents had complained to the school about something so trivial (or anything at all really).

YOU know your daughter best. I have come across many children like this so I know they do exist. Ignore posters who are telling you your daughter us lying- it probably says more about their experience than anything else.

I was thinking if it would have been better if he'd said English people rather than women. It surely is sexist but I still wouldn't find it appropriate to talk like this to young children. I would say 16 year olds are mature enough to hear about stereotypes like this but not 11 year olds. I would contact school and explain about your daughter's reaction and ask teachers to be age appropriate from now on.

So sorry your dd got upset but it's great that she feels safe talking to you. I'm sure some children are too embarrassed to talk to their parents. 🪻

Mention politely to the school you wanted to query whether the comment had been made by the teacher and that you were concerned if it was. You can mention your child doesn't want to be identified as the person who reported it and hopefully the school will avoid mentioning her name to the teacher.

You are right to be concerned though - it is definitely inappropriate and I say this as a secondary school teacher.

🙄

I've never heard anyone admitting to thinking that? If they do they're a misogynistic twat. Men sleep with whoever they like but women get branded 'slags' etc. Why would that man say that, now. As a personal development teacher for 12 yo girls?

It’s a completely valid example of a negative stereotype to mention in a lesson about stereotypes.

These are secondary school kids. They know what sex is! You’re being incredibly OTT and precious about this and you’ve now reduced your daughter to tears. Your behaviour has had far more of a negative impact on her than the non-issue of a teacher alluding to people sleeping together.

And yet you're still going to email the school?

Those who are shocked and appalled at the mentions of sex probably don’t want to look too hard at their English curricula