Am I overreacting to this teacher’s comment?

[queenkettricken]

I’ll start by saying that I’m a teacher myself -primary. My daughter is in year 7 at high school and today her personal development teacher was talking about stereotypes. He mentioned the stereotype that English women go abroad on holiday, get really drunk and sleep with lots of men.

I’m shocked by the reference to sleeping with lots of people and want to email the school but honestly don’t know if I’m overreacting. I teach in UKS2 and cannot imagine touching on this subject even at the very end of year 6.

Should I accept that this is high school and that stuff like this is ok? Or am I right to be shocked that my 11 year is being exposed to this.

Really? That is shocking. Among my friends it was 17 if you had a boyfriend, and if not, you likely lost it first year at uni. There were one or two who were having sex at 16, but they were considered pretty "fast". This was around 1990.

Thirteen is really shocking. That is way below the age of consent.

Yup and don’t get me wrong men were at it too! But British women are often viewed like this.

I can't see how PPs are up in arms about this being sexist. It's so, so simple. Stereotypes are harmful, how you feel as a British woman hearing that is how others feel when they are stereotyped. It is so simple that most 11 year olds would even understand the lesson. How are so many adults on here missing the clear point.

Have you watched any of the teen pregnancy tv shows? All of them were having sex at 13 and 14. It definitely happens.
Actually 13 and 14 seem shocking in the UK. But the age of consent is 14 in some European countries.

16yo maybe, 11yo- that’s nuts! Maybe make sure it wasn’t someone in the class that said it is opposed to the teacher though, as in they might have said the drink thing then someone added the rest

It is still the same. Many boys and girls as young as 13 have sex. It has always been so, it always will be.

Well I’ve never heard of it .
Sounds like a stereotype about young lads on tour / on holiday abroad, if anything .

Oh yeah of course men never get a reputation! Man has sex wih three women on holiday - great. Women does it - slut.

Ha, so it's wrong to stereotype half the population but OK to stereotype the whole population! Would you accept inaccurate stereotypes picking on all nationalities or just British? I can't help feeling that the further one goes East, the less acceptable this would be, can't imagine why!

Yeah I remember girls talking about it at 13.

When i was an adult i went to work in a youth club and i heard 14 year old girls talk about having sex then

Wait until she realises that Of Mice and Men is now studied in Year 8, or it is at our local comprehensive anyway! Glove full of vaseline!
There is far worse stuff in the texts they read (not to mention all the social media most parents let them have by this age, or that they see on friends' phones).
Now, obviously, it is the job of the teacher to discuss and challenge sexist. ableist and racist stereotypes, but it sounds like that is exactly what they were trying to do, and why it mentioned women (because we know the double standard still exists).

I know it happens, but that PP said "a lot" were doing it at 13 at her school. I didn't think it was common. No, I haven't watched those shows - they sound awful.

I just Googled at the average age to lose your virginity is 17-18 in the UK. I can't imagine what was going on at the PP's school that "a lot" were doing it at such a hugely lower age than the average. Maybe lots of them were lying! Even so, things have very clearly changed since the Eighties, when I was 13. We had no language to talk about sex. I can't remember when I found out about sex, but I think I knew the mechanics at 13, although nothing else. Sex at 13...I can't imagine.😢

So in a lesson about stereotypes, a well known stereotype about English girls getting drunk on holiday and having lots of sex was discussed and you’re upset? Surely that was the very point of the lesson?

Right ok so it's part of a lesson. But still I didn't even think it was any kind of stereotype I was ever aware of as a child or even an adult?

I've never heard anyone saying it. I guess I'm naive/lucky. I don't like the idea of it even being raised really but I guess if it was context of a lesson then fair enough.

The class is full of 11-year-olds. He really should have left the sex bit out. Maybe he could have chosen stereotypes about old people, for example. Or differently-abled people. Or people experiencing homelessness. I do hope he wasn't wanting to see the reaction from the girls about the mention of sex. Very distasteful, in my view.

Not the best example to use for Year 7, given it’s discussing sex. Though I guess, it’s an example of a stereotype, and the whole point is to rationalise it isn’t true. Mine would’ve taken it in their stride at Year 7, but all kids are different.

More importantly IME, once your kids get to that age, if you say you’re going to speak to the school (or tell anyone), there’s a risk they won’t tell you stuff that could be affecting them. They have to feel able to talk to you in confidence. Better to encourage them to talk to you openly and you help them navigate it. Rather than them not telling you at all.

So, if she’s crying about telling you, I wouldn’t speak to the school.

Complete overreaction. Do some people here not understand what stereotypes are?? That was literally the whole point of the lesson.

Year 7 are 11 and 12, not that it makes it any better. My daughter is 11 and I definitely would not appreciate her hearing this comment.

@queenkettricken today her personal development teacher was talking about stereotypes. He mentioned the stereotype that English women go abroad on holiday, get really drunk and sleep with lots of men.

I don't think your reasoning skills are very good. He said it's a stereotype. That means it's not an accurate depiction.

Stereotyping is a form of prejudice and bigotry. Acknowledging the existence of stereotyping is not.

I don't understand why so many people struggle with this- understanding the existence of a thing is not the same as being supportive of it.

Example:

"People from minority ethnic groups should be slaves" is a bigoted statement and not acceptable.

"Some people believe that people from minority groups should be slaves" is not a problem because it is a statement acknowledging the existence of racism, and not a statement of support.

It really doesn’t feel appropriate and as one poster pointed out, it feels like there’s a sexist and misogynistic undertone to it.

He said it's a stereotype, so it's not sexist and misogynistic.

It would be sexism and misogyny if he said it's NOT a stereotype.

This.
Completely unnecessary and inappropriate remark from the teacher.
I know we all make mistakes but I'd raise it if this was said to my child - all the lesson has done is cause upset. Teachers are supposed to set an example of appropriate behaviour (I'm a teacher too - I would not dream of saying anything like this).
Maybe it was just a young and silly teacher who needs a little guidance?

Im the person who wrote it.

What kind of school did you go to by the way. Private, independant , state?

I’m intrigued by this as what the teacher said sounds very much like a stereotype and am confused why there is outrage? Also lots of factors come in to play about this stereotype.

Wouldnt something like this lead to other important conversations such as healthy relationships and safe sex and responsible drinking.

Surely if someone lived in say a Spanish country where there are lots of young female tourists who do get drunk and have sex then surely that’s a valid sterotype which is still completely unfair and not true? But still exists. Thats the whole thing of stereotypes.

Am curious if you would still be outraged if it was a female teacher having conversations around sex and alcohol?

I dont think age 13 is that shocking. The age of consent to have sex is 14 in many European countries.

The minimum age of consent is 14 years in seven EU Member States: Austria, Bulgaria, Estonia, Germany, Hungary, Italy and Portugal.

If it's accurate, it's obviously not appropriate. It's misogynistic. If you are going to mention it, then it at least needs to be followed up with some conversation about how society judges with sexuality of women, but I think there are better and more appropriate examples of stereotypes for that age.

I don't think this is appropriate for 11/12 year olds even just as a stereotype example at that age they are just out of primary school and most won't be able to distinguish between "Oh thats just a example of a stereotype" and "That's something my teacher believes and is telling me" and to be fair discussing stereotypes regarding sex to children isn't appropriate in general. He could use better more appropriate examples.