To not want DD to become a doctor

[toomuchgoingonhere]

Lovely DD has told me before that she was considering medicine. I didn’t think much of it as she was in year 9. Whenever I bought it up again, she told me not to ask her and leave it with her. This week, (she’s now in year 10) she mentioned A-levels, very light-hearted, saying she thinks she’ll do biology, then came “I have to decide if I want to be a doctor”. Now my AIBU is that from all we hear, and all that we know, it’s sounds terrible. I’m not going to mention anything to her again, but there are lots of pathways- paediatric, gynae, bones….
what do you think? Anyone else with a DC going studying medicine or have made it though the other side? Are you are doctor or OH?

I know a couple of medical doctors who are no longer practicing doctors but stayed in the health field and did academic PhDs. One is very senior in public health policy and the other is a researcher and runs a lab on medical research at a uni.

So while they both probably could have reached their new careers a bit faster without having done medicine and being junior doctors, they are very happy where they are so studying medicine doesn't necessarily tie you in to being a doctor forever.

You’re basing your judgement on how it plays out in the NHS alone. But even within that doctors have a very purposeful career. And it’s a career with fantastic longevity that can take you anywhere you want in the world. She can practice in the NHS or ultimately choose to go private. If you’ve got a child who is up for it and interested, I think you’d be absolutely mad to try and dissuade them from going into medicine.

Everyone complains about their job and career. Medicine is hard but once you're about a decade in it's very well paid compared to most science based roles so if it's biology she loves and she wants to do medicine then great.

I wanted to be a doctor, had the grades, couldn't afford the years and years at uni and all the outlay required, was told I'd never manage to work alongside uni and placements (which was correct, it's a real barrier to medicine for many from impoverished backgrounds as the course I eventually did allowed me to work in an evening and weekend job in office work and I'd never have managed financially otherwise) so anyone I know who did medicine had decent family support to get them through it.

If she's academically able, fairly resilient and you can afford to support her then I'd support her. I work alongside doctors in clinics and all I work with are happy with their choice, a few having retrained after other careers infact. The biggest strain for most is the level of responsibility once you get to consultant level because it's a lot of influence over the lives of others and that's a lot to carry.

Both my husband and I are hospital Consultants. We have a small child. Working life is busy but no more so than any other career.

Medicine is a VERY broad church and the wife skill sets required means there is a space and place for almost all personalities.

It's an extremely rewarding career and it is such an enormous privilege to care for people at their most vulnerable. It is never lost on me the impact I have on the lives of the patients I care for.

In my job every day is different and I've never spent a single day bored in more than fifteen years. I have never regretted my decision.

If she's keen I'd let her go for it.

@mummybearSW19 Consultant pay grade starts at £109,000. Up to £140,000 plus. See attached. They are well paid and many women are part time which is easier to get than in many other jobs!

My daughter is in her second foundation year, and is very worried about finding a job afterwards. The number of applicants for each role is huge, and for whatever reason they don’t look at each applicant, their references etc. individually. It’s a numbers game, so the concern for the future is very real. However, she loves every minute of it. It does bring me joy to know that she feels that she made the right decision and is absolutely thriving. I’ll never stop worrying about her, and her debt levels are horrific, but nothing I can do about that.

Surprised nobody has mentioned the show This is Going To Hurt. It is a brutal docu drama / damning indictment of the NHS and in particular how tough it is for young medics. Having seen how truly truly terribly bad things are first hand (my mum was very sick) in a Welsh Hospital trust, I recognised a lot of what this series portrayed from the patient's perspective.

My DS is looking to do postgraduate medicine here in Australia. It is practically a cake walk here compared to the UK and even I have some reservations, so I get where you are coming from OP.

I think our reservations have to stay in our heads., we have to let them decide.

@mimiasovitch The job situation will ease though - in time for her. Let’s be honest, doing well will reap rewards, as below.

UKGrad prioritisation should be in by 5th March. This will be a game changer for post F2 jobs !

IF, and it's a big if these days, you get to be a consultant. Many many will never get the chance as not enough jobs

My son is a medical student. We have lots of medics in the family who largely tried to dissuade him but he is completely sure it’s right for him and has been since he was 12. Quite a few of his peers who thought about it either decided it wasn’t for them or didn’t get good enough grades. It’s a great incentive to study as she’ll needs great GCSEs and Alevels so go along with it, pick biology plus chemistry plus one other for A level and keep the option open. We found it more possible to get NHS work experience once in Y12 (apply to local NHS trust) but she’ll also need some public facing work or volunteering (lifeguarding, care, hospitality, retail etc)

@mumsneedwine And in what other job do you get guaranteed a £110,000 salary without being exceptional and working very hard for it? The salaries for consultants are similar to headteacher salaries of secondary schools. How many teachers starting out become Heads? A small fraction! It’s the same in many other jobs.

Maybe now & I’m pleased to hear things have improved but I experienced non of that. You can’t have that many friends with 5 kids and a serious medical career surely?

There are a lot if non nhs jobs around that pay similar salaries. Our (big multinational consumer goods company) health/policy advisors all earn around 100k for a 9-5 office job. All have clinical experience, very few were consultant level before!

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 yes, those lazy doctors. Never work hard. And I'll say again, for the hard of understanding, not all doctors can become consultants. Many will never earn anywhere near the amounts you quote.

I cant imagine anything worse. Im an RN/Podiatrist and have worked for the NHS for 46 years.
If you are a doctor your whole life is being a doctor, if she wants this then great but I like to switch off at the end of yhe day and be someone else, do other things.
I dont see doctors having a wonderful time in my job.

My DP is 30 and in his final year of his medical degree (8 years in total, after a BSc and an MSc), and now that he's actually experienced the work side he doesn't want to be a doctor. He wants to move into lab research. It's a tricky one, as until he tried it he couldn't be sure if it was a good fit. And his student loan debt is very high, which stresses him. He did the other courses previously, I don't know if that's an option to work her way through first and see if she decides what direction to go? I'm sure for those who find it really is their calling, it would be worth it.

Are there still jobs for graduates? My understanding was that very few junior doctors get permanent jobs after they qualify these days.

No all get jobs after they graduate. It's getting into training that's hard (after 2 years as a doctor). We have enough jobs for all UK grads, just not enough when the rest of the world try and come too.

I didn’t say doctors were lazy. I actually resent that being said about my comments. There are other jobs medics can do as suggested but in many other careers, earning £110,000 means people are approaching their earning peak, as a Head, as a regional solicitor or as a Chartered Engineer. All of these people will have proved themselves in their career and will have huge knowledge and worked hard. Structural engineering is life and death! We don’t like buildings collapsing do we? Doctors are not unique in working hard or moving around to further their careers. The plus points are generous part time opportunities. How many part time head teachers does anyone know?

I quit working as a doctor after four years as it was driving me mad. DH still works as a hospital doctor and I resent his job and the impact it has on our whole family.

Still feel excited that our 4 year old wants to be an obstetrician 🙄 Guess it’s Stockholm syndrome!!

I know several with 4 children, one with 6 and one admittedly unusually with 8 . They take 14 months maternity leave with each child then 6 back at work (already pregnant) accured annual leave ( 3 weeks), maybe some sick leave then another 14 months.... and so on

You said in what other job can you be well paid without working hard ??? Implying doctors aren't working hard.

And no doctor. Ever said they work the hardEST. Just that it's hard.

@Anonymousmember12345 i'm sorry for your experience

But bullying happens in all professions. I was bullied by someone (when I was about 24,25) to the extent that, when I found out - - years later - that they were seriously ill, I was not sorry!

There isn't any profession you can go to where there's no risk

Anyway, I think @toomuchgoingonhere has got the point, it doesn't make sense to dissuade DC from this kind of career. But if you are still reading, there's no reason she has to work for the NHS. It might not even exist by the time she qualifies.

my mum knows someone who only does private work and took that option as soon as she could. there's a lot of it out there.

and there's loads of flexibility being a private doctor too. I can't think of any reason why you would dissuade your child from being one.

there's also loads of other jobs you can do if you get to the end of your degree and decide you don't want to be a doctor.