To not want DD to become a doctor

[toomuchgoingonhere]

Lovely DD has told me before that she was considering medicine. I didn’t think much of it as she was in year 9. Whenever I bought it up again, she told me not to ask her and leave it with her. This week, (she’s now in year 10) she mentioned A-levels, very light-hearted, saying she thinks she’ll do biology, then came “I have to decide if I want to be a doctor”. Now my AIBU is that from all we hear, and all that we know, it’s sounds terrible. I’m not going to mention anything to her again, but there are lots of pathways- paediatric, gynae, bones….
what do you think? Anyone else with a DC going studying medicine or have made it though the other side? Are you are doctor or OH?

I would hope it is not because she is a girl and they are more delicate than men

I feel so grateful that people are called to medical professions, and feel fulfilled by them. Thank you for your service!

I’d never have made it as a doctor as - among other reasons - I’m too clumsy. But I’m fascinated in the abstract. If only ‘armchair diagnostician’ were a legit career!

Anaesthetic consultant who left to work overseas(debatably home depending on how you view it)
Medicine is a good career, interesting, rewarding and reasonably lucrative. It is however hard work particularly in the more junior years.

If someone wants to do it, they just need to go in with their eyes open. Lots of work experience and chats with doctors of all levels and specialties.

I read a thread about corporate law a few days ago. That seemed like a tough job, I definitely couldn’t do those hours.

Fyi, she needs to do chemistry

I’d never have made it as a doctor as - among other reasons - I’m too clumsy

Me neither - I suffer from emetephobia. However I am in awe of those who do make it.
I’ve recently had an ankle procedure which involved 24 hours in hospital and I was humbled by the kindness, skill and care I received.

@toomuchgoingonheremy DD is a ST1 doctor. Loves her job, loved Uni. Worked hard but has so much fun. Hates rotational training and the stupid hours but still v glad she did it.

FYI there are 12 Unis that don't need chemistry

My dd is in her first year of foundation training. She is enjoying it. HOWEVER she is very worried about the possibility of getting a job after she finishes her next year. She is planning to go to Australia. Do read up on the huge numbers of doctors who can't find a job after they finish their foundation years. They have studied for years, have huge debts and no job!

My dd does sometimes say that she wouldn't do it again.

DH is a doctor - working through COVID nearly killed him. He is very very pleased neither of the DT’s wanted to be a doctor. He would have done everything to dissuade them.

UKGrad prioritisation should be in by 5th March. So still be in a much better place than last few years.

i don’t understand this and other similar comments. It’s well known and well reported that the junior doctor years (which remember is every level before consultant) are incredibly stressful, with incredibly long hours, relatively low pay, that it’s hard to plan ahead or put down any kind of roots as your training post could be anywhere.
Those saying “why wouldn’t you want your child to do it” are being disingenuous to the OP. Im
incredibly grateful to those thar have trained to be doctors, but i
wouldnt encourage my child to do it.

I was a minimum wage HCA during Covid. It nearly killed me too. I have heart failure & an amazing future ahead 🙄.

incredibly grateful to those thar have trained to be doctors, but i
wouldnt encourage my child to do

It’s a vocation for most of them. I wouldn’t stand in the way of anything - within reason - my dc really wanted to do but even if I did I don’t think I’d have any influence with them.

It’s a great job if you are willing to devote your whole self to it. I was, and am incredibly happy at work (all my friends are doctors, I love my job, I love most of my patients, I don’t really view seeing patients as “work” as such). I’m also a massive night owl, so working nights and weekends has never been remotely an issue for me.

If your DD is like me, she will love being a doctor. BUT if she wants to work to live not live to work, wants some say over where she lives, wants to work sociable hours, and to have an active social life outside of work, then yes do try to dissuade her.

There are definitely easier ways to make money, though probably not many routes which are as guaranteed to pay well - for every magic circle lawyer there is a law grad doing production line conveyancing for £30k, whereas doctors are all paid on the same national pay scale.

No matter what career someone chooses there will be multiple people come along and tell you its the worst job ever. That's just British people for you they like to moan about everything jobs, weather, money, the government, other people, the country.

Leave her to it OP. If she really wants to be a doctor, nothing will put her off. But it’s not for the faint hearted. It’s hard work from the start, and it never lets up. But at 58, with retirement a couple of years away, I’m exhausted, but can’t imagine having done anything else.

Plus with technology its one of the few jobs that will still exist in 20 years

You think you’ve got problems. Mine wants to become a teacher! 😂

See it doesn't matter what career someone chooses people will come along saying its the worst job ever

I think wait to see what her GCSEs and A levels are like but encourage her. My friend wanted to be a physicist but ended up being a teacher.

My youngest wanted to be a vet. For years, he wanted to be a vet. One year of college an he's now studying land management!

Honestly, I wasn't keen but I kept it to myself and he found his "passion" a different way.

You don't get a vote.

I stopped reading half way down, because perhaps I’ve not made it clear, that I would be incredibly proud of her, as I am now. It’s more the unknown and the fear I have heard from the media. The nhs is on its knees and staff are so overworked and under pressure. We don’t know anyone who is a doctor. It’s something she is interested in. And like most teens, when I broach the subject it is seen as nagging. So I don’t- she’s so young I’m not worried. Thank you all for your views. I’ll read in with interest.

With hope by the time she qualifies, the NHS will be a little bit more sorted.

The hardest thing about a career in medicine is having to
work for the NHS. Many areas don’t function at all well and it makes working life for health care professionals really difficult verging on impossible sometimes. Lots of young doctors leave for Australia and many leave medicine altogether.

I would get your daughter plenty of face-to-face time with as many young doctors and you can and tell them in advance that they are to tell her the truth and not sugar-coat it. Also facilitate chats with young professionals from other areas too eg dentistry, law, management consultancy etc etc.

Mine was set on it for a few years, and he’s got the grades, but thankfully he went off it. We aren’t medics but it just seemed a lot of graft for not a lot of reward. Of course if he’d really wanted to do it we’d have supported him.