To go on the jab for my 7 year old

[Wheredidallthetimego]

My Dd turns 8 in the summer. She’s very sweet, but has recently stopped wanting to hold my hand when we’re out and says she feels like she feels embarrassed by me and that she feels like i’m fat but i’m not. She says this quietly and says sorry afterwards. It makes me feel really shit, but I don’t let her know/see this. I have talked to her lots about how it doesn’t matter what a person looks like, but it’s how they are/what’s inside that counts etc, but she still seems to focus on looks a little. The other day she said it was embarrassing as I was wearing ballet flat’s with jeans and how why don’t I want to wear dresses in summer etc.
I’m a size 16-18 and wasn’t back in the day and know I need to lose weight. I would like to do it for myself first and foremost, but this idea that she could be embarrassed/ashamed of me just cuts through me 😔
She was never like this before or even noticed how I looked, is this normal at her age?

I would be laying down the law here and letting her know that calling anyone fat is absolutely not acceptable behaviour. My children know that they aren’t allowed to talk like that (6 and 7 year olds), I would be laying the law down if they were critical of anyone because of their appearance. Definitely a good time to reinforce that looks do not matter despite the constant societal messages which say otherwise.
anyhow that aside my 6 year old does get enbarrassed when I kiss him goodbye at school 🤣🤣🤣 I think most kids will go through that phase, a long phase from what I remember when I was a kid.
Regarding your weight only you can make that choice, could you eat healthier, exercise more? Do you want to lose weight? If so do it for yourself not anyone else. Try not to let her comments upset you, kids are brutal, but she does need to learn not to be insulting people.

It’s shitty parenting IMO to allow the DD to think this is an acceptable way to talk to others. If the DD starts to speak to others this way at school, it will not be tolerated and there will be real life consequences. Your job as a parent is to teach your children how to be respectful and mindful of others feelings. Having clear boundaries and letting kids know when they’ve crossed that boundary helps them understand what is and isn’t acceptable.

The OP’s weight, BMI and clothes size is irrelevant. It is extremely rude to comment on people’s weight. Children need to be taught this.

These are not normal things for a 7 year old to be saying. My kids have never said anything like that ever to me or their dad.
Really rude, hurtful and disrespectful.

I remember another girl commenting on my mum's weight when I was about that age and it being very upsetting. My mum was overweight and in that moment it became clear to me that other people judged her and talked about her negatively because of her appearance even though I loved her deeply and thought she was beautiful and didn't want her to change. I wonder if something similar has happened to your DD since you say she seems to feel sad when she expresses these things?

I don’t know…i’d say it’s what I see maybe 80% of the mums in, not a baggy fleece, quite fitted, sports leggings, new Adidas trainers etc, so i’m really not sure. Yes I don’t wear dresses and jewellery and wear red lipstick but that’s not me

Ah, ok, maybe she is struggling with the concept of a more curvy woman if your curves on display so to speak. Kids by definition aren't curvy, and things like hips can be quite a odd idea to them. Might be worth exploring different body shapes together.

It’s not on display, I wear a longer top

Wow I wouldn't repeat my children did that ...I wonder where they got their judgemental attitude 🤔

On them since June ( I'm a doc myself ) and I'm down 3 stone 2 pounds on them. I've lost 5 stone 4 pounds in last year and a half. 20 pounds to go.

You can’t seriously be attacking young girls. Like the op, I don’t know what caused the girls in school to do that. Tv. Awareness of their own appearance. I don’t know. But I can assure you it is not exclusive to the ops daughter and my daughter and her friends,

if you’re trying to have a go at me, then stop with the passive aggressive shit and own it. I’d have much more respect.

If your BMI is 28 are you planning to lie to get them?

I doubt you would ever give honest advice on a forum if you only talk about the good things that can happen in life.

I have pcos & endo, I’m wondering if they will consider due to this

Yes, they would be considered health issues, and it would be prescribed by most.