To think John Davidson and BAFTA owe an apology

[notaurewhatusername]

I have sympathy for anyone with Tourette’s. I genuinely do. It’s a difficult condition and I’m not for one second suggesting John Davidson is a bad person or that he chose to say what he said. But sympathy for a condition doesn’t mean the impact on others gets ignored.

Intent matters but so does impact. If I accidentally stand on someone’s foot I still say sorry, even though I didn’t mean to do it. “I didn’t mean it” and “I acknowledge I hurt you” are not mutually exclusive. I wouldn’t get annoyed at the suggestion of apologising simply because I didn’t mean it, so why is this different? Especially as it was a public stage in front of millions. I don’t expect John to apologise every day in normal interactions, but at such a public forum - he should. Michael B Jordan looked visibly devastated. It was so sad.

When he saw two Black men and the n-word came out — not H**ky at the white hosts for example, not some other neutral word, the n-word directed at Black people in the room — that caused real harm to real people. Tourette’s tics are shaped by what the brain reaches for as most “forbidden” in a given moment, and what it reached for when he saw two Black men was a racial slur aimed at them. That raises really uncomfortable questions about unconscious bias that most people would rather sidestep entirely.

It doesn’t make him a conscious racist. But it does make it a conversation worth having, because our unconscious associations don’t come from nowhere — they’re shaped by everything we’ve absorbed over a lifetime. That connotation being the first place his brain went is something that deserves acknowledgement, not just a pass because of the diagnosis. And as a POC, I have to be honest — this is heartbreaking. Not just the incident itself but what it represents.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to explain to white friends and colleagues that certain spaces feel uncomfortable, that you notice the stares, that you carry this constant low level awareness of how you might be being perceived. And so often the response is “you’re imagining it” or “you’re being too sensitive.” You get gaslit into doubting your own lived experience. Well — moments like this are exactly why it isn’t in our heads. This is the reality POC navigate every single day. Always on alert. Always doing that mental calculation of whether someone is judging you for the colour of your skin. That emotional labour is exhausting and largely invisible to people who’ve never had to carry it.

John thanking the audience for their “understanding” puts the burden entirely on those who were hurt to just get over it. That’s not the same as acknowledging the pain caused. AIBU to think a bit more than “thanks for understanding” was needed here — from both of them?

Stop playing hard to get.

Night night, love you.

He did apologise, so there's that.

Saying what he did dios not make make John a racist, conscious or unconscious.
Like every other adult, his brain will have a library of very very bad words that they have heard or read. The condition makes you blurt the worst thing. He saw 2 black men, he blurted the worst thing.

I am not seeing black people being subjected to racism in this. I am seeing a disabled person being bullied. Conscious ablist bullying .
This is the reality that people with Toutettes navigate every day.

This is your words applied to John .

I can’t tell you how many times John will have tried to explain to neurotypical friends and colleagues that certain spaces feel uncomfortable, ( like BAFTA awards ceremonies perhaps) that he notices the stares, that he carries this constant low level awareness of how he might be being perceived. And so often the response is “he is imagining it” or “ he is being too sensitive.” He gets gaslit into doubting his own lived experience. Well ,moments like this are exactly why it isn’t in his head. This is the reality people with Toutettes navigate every single day. Always on alert. Always doing that mental calculation of whether someone is judging you for your disability. That emotional labour is exhausting and largely invisible to people who’ve never had to carry it.

I have replied, actually. Twice. But you ignore what you cannot easily wave away and then crow that people cannot respond to you. Self-aggrandisement, much?

Like Johns unique lived experience?

Yeah, honestly, this would not be a difficult one to explain to a kid.

I've even seen people blaming John for the fact racists are using gifs of him to be racist
No, that's their choice too

He has literally been beaten to shit for saying things. You think he wants that?

Why would he call a chair a racist slur? He has Tourettes not stupidity. He knows what a chair is. He knows what a duck is.
If there was a horrible word which would be offensive to chairs I am sure he would at some point use it. But probaly not a racist offesnsive word, because its......a chair ......which doesnt have a race. Therefore calling the chair a racist name is not the worst thing he could say to it.

Perhaps the two black men could be bigger people and refrain from bully a person with a disability .

Perhaps they could make comment along the lines of
"Whilst its always shocking to hear that word, we completely understand that it is involuntary uncontrollable and part of Johns.l condition. Tonights events demonstate clearly how very difficult the condition makes Johns life as it has overshadowed what should gave been a triumphant and proud night for him. John has our sympathy and admiration for all he has overcome"

But no. They chose to bully a disabled person.

Yes, I expect people's personal experiences do make a large differernce.

But they do actually need to engage their minds. Not all feelings we have are reasonable. It's not reasonable me to take it personally when there is a small child who lashes out and hits me because he is very young and disregulated. It's not reasonable if I feel personally upset at someone who makes a rude error unknowingly in a foreign language, or a social faux pas. I remember very vividly when I was post-partum having really irrational negative feelings about people wanting to hold my baby, that they were dangerous - totally hormionally created thoughts and emotions, which is also what happens with bad experiences. Our feelings can be very reactive. We have to use our understanding to recognise when that is the case and manage our reactions.

And it's not just about being fair to the person who is ill, or young, or a newcomer, or has dementia, whatever. It's much better for our own lives if we can see where our emotions are not reflecting the circumstances.

You know, both of those actors have been in plenty of films which involved quite a lot of racial slurs. They were clearly not so traumatised by their lives that they were unable to manage to play those roles, they clearly understood that it was acting, telling a story, and thought that the story was important enough to justify subjecting themselves and the audience to that language. I am a little sceptical that they are unable to understand the nature of this disability and that the language was equally not about someone trying to be abusive.

I heard he learned the word by listening to “Golddigger” by Kanye West and checksnotes Jamie Foxx.

But surely this would mean someone with Tourette's would be apologising all the time? Just by the very nature of the illness, sufferers run the risk of offending anyone and everyone at any given moment because their remarks are involuntary. Of course it's unfortunate but it is what it is.

YABU your wanting him to apologise for his disability and what it causes him to do don’t you think he struggles enough without being forced to apologise for something that he can’t help. Do you even know how Tourette’s works?

I have a feeling that if he (or anyone else) shouted "Andrew is a cunt" at William, it would have been edited.

You’re funny OP

“I understand and sympathise with Tourette’s!”

<Goes on to post a load of shite which shows you don’t understand Tourette’s and don’t sympathise with disabled people”

No John Davidson does not have to apologise for being disabled.

I know, its obvious. You simply just cannot stop yourself.

I know, right?!

Like, what the heck was Fox thinking when he said that?

Yes, I'm sure that the two actors in question may be upset/bothered, but they'd also understand that it wasn't intentional. If there hasn't been an apology though, it is a bit odd. But perhaps he's apologised privately.

My issue is that everyone talking about this seems to be framing it as 'person with Tourette's vs neurotypical, mentally healthy people' and don't understand that quite often it could be 'person with Tourette's vs neurodivergent/mentally unwell people'. Some people, due to their own conditions, are more easily affected by verbal abuse, or are incapable of being able to let it roll off without distressing them.

So what then?

I'm not black, so please correct me if I'm wrong, but there's a big difference between a hard 'r' vs soft 'a', and also between a black person using the word vs a white person using it.

For instance, I don't particularly like it when women call each other 'bitches', but if a woman says 'hey bitch' in a friendly way, it does evoke a very different feeling to when a man shouts, 'bitch!' at me.

But what if he's a racist with Tourettes?

Nope, he should not apologise. The BBC had two hours to take it out, they did not.

I'm pretty sure if he'd have said the BBC are full of paedos, that WOULD have been censored.

As a black women..To me? It's no big deal. Some of us accidently fuck up and some of us purposely fuck up.

Really? He’s 55. I think it’s rather fanciful that people are saying he learned the word from black rappers.
Or people think he’d never heard the N word before the age of 35?

This is a new one. Arguing that the two black presenters- aka known as Michael B Jordan and Delroy Lindo- should stop 'bullying' JD and apologise.

Despite neither saying a word and being completely dignified, except DL saying he wishes BAFTA had said something to him after the show.

Hannah Beachler, the Sinners production designer, was also a victim of slurs. Maybe she should apologise to JD? After all, surely she's just a nasty bully, being from Hollywood.

No one needs to apologise except the fucking BBC and BAFTA, who completely failed in their duty of care.

Where you are wrong is he said it involuntarily. But people are saying “how was it in his vocabulary?!” and ignore that it’s very much in everyone’s vocabulary and likely more so in the 21st century because of use in rap than because they hear racists shouting it in the street.

You need to work on your sarcasm radar.

Powerful point . And great one, exactly. We all as women can agree that bitch isn’t the same from a man than a woman

I know he said it involuntarily. But I think everyone should know there's a difference between a black man using a 'soft a' n-word in a song, and a white man just shouting out the 'hard r' - and I doubt Davidson learnt the word from rap/hip hop.

Regardless, I don't think 'but black people use it!' is a good excuse.

'It's involuntary' should be enough to explain it, without needing to make an argument that really, black people have brought it on themselves by using 'n*a' in music.