To think John Davidson and BAFTA owe an apology

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I have sympathy for anyone with Tourette’s. I genuinely do. It’s a difficult condition and I’m not for one second suggesting John Davidson is a bad person or that he chose to say what he said. But sympathy for a condition doesn’t mean the impact on others gets ignored.

Intent matters but so does impact. If I accidentally stand on someone’s foot I still say sorry, even though I didn’t mean to do it. “I didn’t mean it” and “I acknowledge I hurt you” are not mutually exclusive. I wouldn’t get annoyed at the suggestion of apologising simply because I didn’t mean it, so why is this different? Especially as it was a public stage in front of millions. I don’t expect John to apologise every day in normal interactions, but at such a public forum - he should. Michael B Jordan looked visibly devastated. It was so sad.

When he saw two Black men and the n-word came out — not H**ky at the white hosts for example, not some other neutral word, the n-word directed at Black people in the room — that caused real harm to real people. Tourette’s tics are shaped by what the brain reaches for as most “forbidden” in a given moment, and what it reached for when he saw two Black men was a racial slur aimed at them. That raises really uncomfortable questions about unconscious bias that most people would rather sidestep entirely.

It doesn’t make him a conscious racist. But it does make it a conversation worth having, because our unconscious associations don’t come from nowhere — they’re shaped by everything we’ve absorbed over a lifetime. That connotation being the first place his brain went is something that deserves acknowledgement, not just a pass because of the diagnosis. And as a POC, I have to be honest — this is heartbreaking. Not just the incident itself but what it represents.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to explain to white friends and colleagues that certain spaces feel uncomfortable, that you notice the stares, that you carry this constant low level awareness of how you might be being perceived. And so often the response is “you’re imagining it” or “you’re being too sensitive.” You get gaslit into doubting your own lived experience. Well — moments like this are exactly why it isn’t in our heads. This is the reality POC navigate every single day. Always on alert. Always doing that mental calculation of whether someone is judging you for the colour of your skin. That emotional labour is exhausting and largely invisible to people who’ve never had to carry it.

John thanking the audience for their “understanding” puts the burden entirely on those who were hurt to just get over it. That’s not the same as acknowledging the pain caused. AIBU to think a bit more than “thanks for understanding” was needed here — from both of them?

"Disabled people don’t have a choice about how their condition manifests,
Non disabled people do have a choice about how the react to this, you choose to be offended. You can choose not to."

I dislike this sort of logic, as it doesn't work if you scale up in severity, say, with a disability that results in violence. I feel like a logical explanation should work for minor issues and major ones.

Someone else explaining, "They can't help it and don't mean it, and probably feel terrible about it," makes sense regardless of severity of whatever was said or done.

But how the person it's aimed at feels in the moment isn't always a choice, depending on severity, and especially considering the person it's aimed at may be disabled, neurodivergent, or mentally unwell themselves.

My sympathies lie entirely with the Tourette's sufferer. The poor man has apologised. He made a statement very early on. This is absolutely not his fault and the outcry he has suffered due to his disability is outrageous.

He was there because of a film aimed at bringing awareness of his condition. Apparently, those present are too shallow to understand that. More education is most definitely needed. It is an awful condition to live with and he has no choice. Being over-sensitive is a self imposedcondition which people can control.

The people who should make the apologies are the networks who broadcast it - no need for them to do that. They compounded this man's embarrassment and added fuel to the controversy.

I'm not American, but I don't think you have to be to understand the difference between a 'hard r' and 'soft a', even in other accents worldwide.
And given that the tic means he would've said the most offensive thing, are you really trying to argue that perhaps he was trying to use it in a soft a context?

It wasn't aimed at anyone. It's an uncontrollable tik which just comes out. This is the point.

My statement was aimed at this particular issue

im not talking about scaling up violence

So he wasn't shouting it involuntarily because two black people were on stage?
I'm not saying he consciously aimed it at anyone, but clearly the tics are sometimes aimed at people.

The rest of my comment still stands.

So if someone in recovery from an eating disorder is called a 'fat slag, fat slag!' for instance, they can just choose how they feel about that?

I don't think that logic holds up.

The real argument people make about this, including many women, is that by using the word that way, they keep it in the language as a common thing.

People get used to hearing it, and used to hearing it used in a friendly way. And that has an impact, that is how language works. The use as a special in-group word is really dependent on the fact that it's also a slur, so you are tying those two things together in your culture.

That's why lots of women don't like that kind of language among women and wish people wouldn't do it. And the same argument exists in the black community, there are plenty of people who don't like it, don't like the kind of stuff that is in a lot of rap music, and won't use that language themselves.

It does also make people doubtful that just hearing it is a horrible painful experience no matter what the context. It's not just the occasional word drop in rap music. There are social groups where it's constant, used in exactly the same way as "man" or "dude" or "bro" might be in another setting, you could hear it three times a minute. If a person can understand that the context there is different and not be upset, that the context in a film is differernt where they are acting, they should be capable of understanding the context is differernt with someone who has Tourettes.

Disabled people are perfectly able to own how their disability impacts others. Just like he did when he wrote a piece about meeting the queen. He's choosing not to here.

I have never heard of there being a difference, but I’m arguing that his disability is not racist - it didn’t say a hard r to be more racist, it said a hard r because Scottish people pronounce their Rs

He literally released a statement.

We've had many many threads here about the RAP passes and the affect on people with SEN, how it is discrimination and how they wont safely be able to access the parks.

Now you are suggesting a disabled person should not be allowed to access the BAFTAS where a film about his own life was recognised for an award???

We cant lock disabled people away anymore.

He couldn't help it, the same way a person with epilepsy cant avoid a seizure in an inconvenient place or an autistic person may have a meltdown in a queue at alton towers.

What type of discrimination is ok?

There is not one person who has said that.

A disability does not have intent.
They are not aimed at anyone
If a fat woman stood on stage his tic would have probably called her fat slag
Ts completely irrrlevant because the words have no intent, meaning or malice. They are just words, nothing more, in this context. We can certainly discuss how they land and how people take them, and the wider issue of racist words - but that’s naff all to do with John Davidson

Why are the ableist making things up? It’s wierd

If a toddler made a comment about your appearance, would you feel as hurt as if it was an able minded adult?

I would hope that a person in recovery from an eating disorder would be undergoing some type of therapy.

You are only responsible for how you feel though

if it was a Tourette’s sufferer shouting fat slag, and I was aware they had Tourette’s, I’d understand that it’s not their fault.

Not “white people using it”. A person with Tourette’s, which causes INVOLUNTARY tics using it, having heard it used and therefore it being a word he is capable of saying INVOLUNTARILY.

He wrote a statement.
What else do you expect?

He doesn’t need to apologise, and nobody has been a victim of his actions so there no DARVO. Calling someone abusive just because they’re disabled is gross

Can you point me to the piece he wrote about offending the Queen because I’ve googled and can’t find it?

Or is it perhaps a case that it doesn’t exist and you’ve made it up?

Exactly

@OtterlyAstounding have you seen the many videos on social media posted by black people living with Tourette’s? They’re defending John. They’re very good watches from people who are actually affected deeply by both racism and ableism and they’re being silenced by people who have no right to speak for them

Disabled people should never, ever have to apologise simply for being disabled. What he said was extremely gracious.

Get a grip yourself.

I have made nothing up. I don't have the time to go back and find where it was said, or it may have been deleted, who knows. But a few posters did argue upthread that
the "black men" were "bullies"
MBJ and DL should put out a statement.
the N word has been normalised by black people in music, so a lot of faux puzzlement over why white people can't use it.

That's my last word. You can call me ableist if you like. I could call you worse, I guess, but we all know MN moderators are useless.

It's silly because that really is not a "rule." It's just different accents, and it became a bit of a joke, I think it was a Chris Rock routine. It was funny.

But it was always really about who was saying it and why, not whether they end with a vowel or consonant.