To think John Davidson and BAFTA owe an apology

[notaurewhatusername]

I have sympathy for anyone with Tourette’s. I genuinely do. It’s a difficult condition and I’m not for one second suggesting John Davidson is a bad person or that he chose to say what he said. But sympathy for a condition doesn’t mean the impact on others gets ignored.

Intent matters but so does impact. If I accidentally stand on someone’s foot I still say sorry, even though I didn’t mean to do it. “I didn’t mean it” and “I acknowledge I hurt you” are not mutually exclusive. I wouldn’t get annoyed at the suggestion of apologising simply because I didn’t mean it, so why is this different? Especially as it was a public stage in front of millions. I don’t expect John to apologise every day in normal interactions, but at such a public forum - he should. Michael B Jordan looked visibly devastated. It was so sad.

When he saw two Black men and the n-word came out — not H**ky at the white hosts for example, not some other neutral word, the n-word directed at Black people in the room — that caused real harm to real people. Tourette’s tics are shaped by what the brain reaches for as most “forbidden” in a given moment, and what it reached for when he saw two Black men was a racial slur aimed at them. That raises really uncomfortable questions about unconscious bias that most people would rather sidestep entirely.

It doesn’t make him a conscious racist. But it does make it a conversation worth having, because our unconscious associations don’t come from nowhere — they’re shaped by everything we’ve absorbed over a lifetime. That connotation being the first place his brain went is something that deserves acknowledgement, not just a pass because of the diagnosis. And as a POC, I have to be honest — this is heartbreaking. Not just the incident itself but what it represents.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to explain to white friends and colleagues that certain spaces feel uncomfortable, that you notice the stares, that you carry this constant low level awareness of how you might be being perceived. And so often the response is “you’re imagining it” or “you’re being too sensitive.” You get gaslit into doubting your own lived experience. Well — moments like this are exactly why it isn’t in our heads. This is the reality POC navigate every single day. Always on alert. Always doing that mental calculation of whether someone is judging you for the colour of your skin. That emotional labour is exhausting and largely invisible to people who’ve never had to carry it.

John thanking the audience for their “understanding” puts the burden entirely on those who were hurt to just get over it. That’s not the same as acknowledging the pain caused. AIBU to think a bit more than “thanks for understanding” was needed here — from both of them?

Excessive apologising is people pleasing not politeness

It would be grovelling to issue the statement you made or to keep apologising when people had already been given the heads up that offensive language may be heard but there was no offence being meant by it

I've seen one of his documentaries, but years ago now. I haven't seen the new film, no.

Again, I can only speak for myself, but if I had a condition that made me shout obscenities at people, I'd probably interact with new people even less than I already do.

So you're saying MBJ and DL weren't victims then?

So you expect someone with tourettes to isolate themselves? How about people respect and support people with disabilities instead?

Why aren’t people understanding that if people with Tourette’s and coprolalia apologise for what they say in their tics, they’re apologising for being disabled?

What part don’t you understand?

An apology implies fault and a strive to not do it again. John Davidson has no fault in what his tic did, and he can’t promise to do it again.

Seriously why do so many of you want him to apologise for being disabled? Why do you want a fake apology?

No. People pleasing is usually an inability to say 'no', doing too much for other people, changing your views to suit them, etc. I'll do what I like, and I won't do what I don't want to. But I will say, 'oh, shit, sorry!' if I bump into someone in the shop, or accidentally elbow my husband, etc.

I'm also very aware of how optics play a part in today's world especially, and I'd want to make very sure that people understood I'm lovely and not a dreadful racist, so an extra apology/explanation would be a good tactical move with something that has global coverage.

I quite literally said: I can only speak for myself.

So no, I very clearly don't expect anyone else to do that.

See I would expect people not to be bigots and expect others to live in a society with disabled people.

But you and I don’t have Tourette’s and have no right to draw on ridiculous hypotheticals when we have no idea what it’s like to have a life sentence like John Davidson does

So what.

Your hypothetical is entirely irrelevant.

I think an apology would have helped. Not an apology for his disability, it is devastating to have to live with, but an apology for the offence caused.

If someone in a wheelchair inadvertently ran over your foot would you expect them not to apologise because they are disabled?

If you bump into someone it’s because you’ve had a lapse in concentration, something you CAN help, and it impacted someone else.

This is not the same as a disabled person displaying a symptom they have no control over.

John Davidson is in his 50’s. He’s spent his life apologising and explaining and he got beaten up, arrested and discriminated against countless times even when he apologised. It’s FAR better to educate rather than constantly apologise. The work he has done around education is nothing short of phenomenal, and you have no right to judge his actions

Of course he just involuntarily shouted the N word at that same precise moment that two black men just happened to appear on stage. What a bizarre coincidence. Would he still have blurted out the N word if it had been two white people on stage? Tourette’s is a lack of any filter so that you blurt out what pops into your head involuntarily. And what popped into his head when he saw those two black actors was the N word. Let’s not pretend otherwise. Odd that no derogatory words popped into his head to involuntary blurt out while white actors were speaking about white trash or gypsies.

I watched a documentary once where a teenage girl with Tourette’s was buying clothes in a shop with her mum and she blurted out the N word as she was being served. Guess what? It wasn’t a white person serving her at the time. How odd that of all the things that could have popped into her head to be blurted out when she was being served by a black person, it just happened to be the N word. Just the N word.

The very same BAFTAs, the BBC edited out an actor saying Free Palestine. But they couldn’t edit out someone shouting out the N word. How convenient. And people reckon it’s the rest of us that don’t understand the condition?

Are they running over your foot hundreds of times a day? Most wheelchair users are pretty good at avoiding feet, John cannot avoid his tics. He should not apologise for his disability.

Any apology WOULD be apologising for his disability

Bloody hell not the running over the foot analogy again.

Thats not an appropriate analogy. An appropriate analogy would be an apology for someone simply being in a wheelchair. Would you find that acceptable?

Excessive apologising is people pleasing though. It's doing an unnecessary activity to please someone else

He has a whole fucking film out about him explaining his condition! He doesn't need to go around grovelling again and again to explain why his condition makes him do things!

This really isn’t the gotcha you think it is.

Tourette’s is a lack of any filter so that you blurt out what pops into your head involuntarily.

No it isn’t. It really isn’t. Where did you get that from?
Learn about Tourette’s, about coprolalia, and then come back with a curse information please.

Please just educate yourself. He has copralalia, which specifically makes you blurt out the most socially inappropriate or taboo words and phrases in the context of the situation.

Just like he shouted "you're dying of cancer" at his friend Dotty after her diagnosis.

So yes, indeed, you do not understand his condition. This poor man has been vilified internationally already in the last 24 hours. Leave him alone. Or better yet actually watch the documentary.

You don’t understand the condition.

To be fair, I apologise when someone bumps into me, because it's just automatic. And then they apologise back (unless they're a dick), and we smile awkwardly at each other, and go on with our shopping.

And no one should ever be beaten up or arrested for a verbal condition that they can't help! Or be unfairly discriminated against. Raising awareness and educating people is obviously amazing too.

But I don't understand why there's so much outrage about the idea of him reiterating that he obviously didn't mean to cause offence, and he's sorry to have said the word. Or why there's so much scorn over the idea that some people might have felt badly about having a racial slur shouted, even knowing the person couldn't help it.

John isn't racist, he will say the worst thing because it's the exact thing he shouldn't say

It was just as likely he would shout f*ggot at Alan Cumming for example (he might even have said something to him which isn't all over the news)

BBC is politically neutral, in theory, and has to be careful about how political messages are shown which is why Free Palestine was edited out. There have been theories and suggestions why this wasn't edited out and once it became clear how offensive and poorly received it was, they did issue and apology and removed the clip. It wasn't great of the BBC but they've acted

Honestly the neurological researchers who’ve spent decades presenting compelling research must feel so silly when they read posts like this. They clearly know fuck all, and me awhile YOU, random internet person, knows what’s really going on with people with Tourette’s because because <checks notes> you saw a TV show once where a disabled person was different to entirely different disabled person.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Ill be back soon, just gonna call Hannover Medical School and the Universiry of Rochester who are trailblazers in Tourette’s research and tell them they’re wrong because someone on MN says Tourette’s is “saying what’s on your head”. They’ll be gutted they got it wrong all these years.

@notaurewhatusername I do agree with the principal of what you’re saying - if we cause someone harm, with intent or not, then yes of course we should apologise.

But ultimately I think BAFTA/BBC have failed in their duty of care towards both John Davidson AND Michael B Jordan and Delroy Lindo on multiple levels.

It never should have been aired. This has made it so much worse and put everyone affected in a much more vulnerable position.

I think this is incredibly sad. It should have been an evening of pride for all three people involved, instead John Davidson and his disability are being dragged through the world’s media and 2 black artists had a moment of prestige for their craft damaged.

There are two truths here that I think are difficult/impossible to reconcile:

1. Of course John should be able to attend a ceremony for his own film and be extended understanding and courtesy.
2. No black person should be asked to put up with being called the n word. And they certainly shouldn’t be asked to do so for someone else’s comfort.

I don’t know what the answer is, but I think all three men have been failed by BAFTAs/BBC.

Everyone on the internet hasn't seen his film though. Or even heard of him. Or had an understanding of Tourette's. So on a purely pragmatic level, a statement might have been helpful.

But I don't understand why there's so much outrage about the idea of him reiterating that he obviously didn't mean to cause offence, and he's sorry to have said the word. Or why there's so much scorn over the idea that some people might have felt badly about having a racial slur shouted, even knowing the person couldn't help it.

He did - he put out a statement saying pretty much that - he used the word "mortified" instead of "sorry" though so it's apparently not good enough, and people want to see a bit of performative grovelling.

He’s said it once yesterday in a statement. It was mentioned by Alan Cumming twice in the night. Why does he need to constantly say it?