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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have said this to my cleaner?

343 replies

wellwatnow · 22/02/2026 19:25

NC for this. I've had this last cleaner for almost a year, I've had several over the years and although this one isn't all that great she's one of the best at cleaning and I will say is by far the most reliable. She comes every other Monday and sometimes I have to text her on a Sunday afternoon to tell her I won't be in as she has to use the key safe (usually I am home).

I wasn't home last time she came, and I won't be home tomorrow either. As always I thanked her for doing a good job, she's always said I must let her know if anything is missed out with her cleaning, so I asked her if she could make sure my laundry room gets a good clean as she forgot to do it last time.

Anyway, a while later she replied and said no problem, sorry if you thought the laundry room hadn't been cleaned, she said she had cleaned it but would give it a good clean. I replied to thank her and said I'd noticed that one of the wall cupboard doors had definitely not been cleaned which made me think she'd forgotten the room. Well she replied quite quickly by saying she knows which door I mean, and that she hadn't cleaned it because it looked like it was covered in dried cat sick (my cat often sleeps on the top of the wall cupboards in the laundry room) and that she didn't want to clean it, and that I must have known about it because otherwise how did I know it hadn't happened after she left? She said she left it as she didn't want to clean it up and thought it could be the thing we never spoke about, whatever that means. She then said she can't make tomorrow but would be in touch when she's free.

I suspect now that she won't be coming back, which is infuriating as it's impossible to get people to clean, all my friends that have cleaners tell me they are too busy and won't give me their numbers. I only found this one as she was cleaning for a neighbour one day. I had to wait ages for her to find a space to fit me in. But I can't help think she's taking this way too personally.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 22/02/2026 22:48

NoSoupForU · 22/02/2026 22:46

Honestly I wouldn't make a thing over something being missed once (if I thought it had been missed as opposed to being a grotbag leaving my pet's vomit for someone else to clean up).

Grotbag is an excellent word.

DeftWasp · 22/02/2026 22:49

wellwatnow · 22/02/2026 19:41

But I didn't "leave it for her"! It just happened to be there on the day she was coming to clean any way. It wasn't there the night before, if had I would have cleaned it up.

I'm confused why a cleaner would not clean up the cat sick - that is literally cleaning, that's what the job is!

ProcrastinatorsAnonymous · 22/02/2026 22:49

Arlanymor · 22/02/2026 22:48

Grotbag is an excellent word.

Criminally underused word. I have a Grotbag tote. A Grot-bag, if you will.

Arlanymor · 22/02/2026 22:50

ProcrastinatorsAnonymous · 22/02/2026 22:49

Criminally underused word. I have a Grotbag tote. A Grot-bag, if you will.

100% true and where can I buy such a thing please?!

Arlanymor · 22/02/2026 22:52

DeftWasp · 22/02/2026 22:49

I'm confused why a cleaner would not clean up the cat sick - that is literally cleaning, that's what the job is!

So also, if people have diarrhoea, period blood, basically any bodily fluid is fair game?

Maybe if they were a crime scene cleaner...

BlessedCheesemaker · 22/02/2026 22:52

"this one isn't all that great she's one of the best at cleaning and I will say is by far the most reliable."

It sounds like she's pretty great really. And you should clean up your own cat sick and/or not pretend you didn't realize it was there.

mirrorsandlights · 22/02/2026 22:54

I used to clean for someone who left their cat sick for me to clean. I know they left it because it was in the kitchen in the morning and it had gone hard. I never cleaned it up and stopped working for them because it was so disgusting. Nothing was ever said about it being left by either of us.

KeepOffTheQuinoa · 22/02/2026 23:01

wellwatnow · 22/02/2026 19:41

But I didn't "leave it for her"! It just happened to be there on the day she was coming to clean any way. It wasn't there the night before, if had I would have cleaned it up.

Whenever it got there, you blamed her for not cleaning it.

She left it, then you told her she had left the door dirty.

You must have seen it was cat sick when you got home and cleaned it?

Viviennemary · 22/02/2026 23:03

You did sound a bit over fussy about the cleaning. I don't think cleaners should be expected to clean dried up cat sick. Looks like you need to look for another cleaner

Strawberrydelight78 · 22/02/2026 23:06

wellwatnow · 22/02/2026 19:48

Because I thought the room had been forgotten and I didn't want her to forget to clean it this time.

Well she obviously thought the cat had been sick in there can you not see why she didn't want to spend much time in there? Especially if she has children and/or pets herself.

TeenLifeMum · 22/02/2026 23:12

DeftWasp · 22/02/2026 22:49

I'm confused why a cleaner would not clean up the cat sick - that is literally cleaning, that's what the job is!

A standard house clean would not usually include vomit from any animal. If you had a nice cleaner and messaged “I’m so so sorry, just noticed cat was sick in utility and I didn’t have a chance to clean it up. Would you mind wiping the cabinet? Let me know if not and I’ll get it as soon as I get home” most cleaners would probably have done it. Then you follow up with “thank you so much!”

Paperwhite209 · 22/02/2026 23:15

And cleaners shouldn't be expected to clean up animal sick, pee or poo.

This!

I run a school medical room and although we have the cleaners in every evening, if the vomit sink gets used it's my job unfortunately!

Teleron · 22/02/2026 23:23

A good cleaner you can trust is like gold dust! If you saw cat sick you should have apologised and told her to leave it, not complain!

Arlanymor · 22/02/2026 23:25

You're a gem, thank you - early birthday present for meeee! I remember the Pink Windmill well and she was Carol I think (without googling). And there was a Tea Bag?

Franjipanl8r · 22/02/2026 23:30

You’re immune to the cat sick - she sees it as a biohazard.

I don’t have a cat so I’m team cleaner on this one - super gross.

THEDEACON · 22/02/2026 23:49

wellwatnow · 22/02/2026 19:41

But I didn't "leave it for her"! It just happened to be there on the day she was coming to clean any way. It wasn't there the night before, if had I would have cleaned it up.

You did though because you saw it that morning and left it to her

Yeppa · 22/02/2026 23:52

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 22/02/2026 19:30

It tickles me somewhat that people pussy foot around with cleaners when they pay them a fortune and are so grateful. I used to clean donkeys years ago and was paid five pound an hour! I wish the people I’d cleaned for had been so delicate with me.

You don’t say if you did leave dried cat sick for her but youve obviously pissed her off with how you have communicated and yes it sounds like you will be cleaning your own cat sick off your own cupboard in future.

Edited

Did anyone else read the above as “I used to clean donkeys…..years ago” and have the thought that donkey-cleaning seemed like an unusual but potentially fun job???

GaIadriel · 22/02/2026 23:53

wellwatnow · 22/02/2026 19:41

But I didn't "leave it for her"! It just happened to be there on the day she was coming to clean any way. It wasn't there the night before, if had I would have cleaned it up.

But surely you'd take the hint and not message her again about it.

Anonanonay · 22/02/2026 23:56

Beggars can't be choosers. You're gonna have to grovel and apologise for your tone.

Emi123456 · 23/02/2026 00:03

I don't think the problem was that you mentioned the room to be cleaned, but rather, that after she said she will give it a good clean, you kept on going to say that she forgot last time and the door was dirty.
There was no need for that message.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 23/02/2026 00:04

You could have asked her to do the laundry room without criticising her work, this is totally your own fault.

EdgarAllenRaven · 23/02/2026 00:07

OP I think the thing is, cleaners want to have agency. Once they get to know a house, they will find their preferred way of cleaning it; their own order of rooms, their own products etc.
They take on the cleaning of the house in their way, and will want to do a good job for you.

They will not take kindly to being micro-managed every week about the exact things that need doing , and the exact minutes/hours.

So next time you hire somebody, after the trial clean, just let them crack on and stay away.

With this cleaner, if you really want her back, I’d go grovelling with an apology and ask to start afresh.

Wtafmakeitstop · 23/02/2026 00:12

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 22/02/2026 19:30

It tickles me somewhat that people pussy foot around with cleaners when they pay them a fortune and are so grateful. I used to clean donkeys years ago and was paid five pound an hour! I wish the people I’d cleaned for had been so delicate with me.

You don’t say if you did leave dried cat sick for her but youve obviously pissed her off with how you have communicated and yes it sounds like you will be cleaning your own cat sick off your own cupboard in future.

Edited

Genuinely read this as you saying that a long time ago you used to clean donkeys. I need to get some sleep.

VibesCurator · 23/02/2026 00:15

I'd love to know where you all live where cleaners are like gold dust 😂